@MargaretThursday
I think one mistake that I've seen introverted people make recently, is because they can easily contact old friends/family, they spend the first few weeks messaging/phoning them. That, at the time, makes them feel like they're socialising and they don't feel they're missing out at all. But as term goes on, old friends are making new friends and don't want respond as much and family seems a bit boring. Then when they try socialising, they feel that everyone is already good friends and they're the odd ones out (they're not, just that's how they feel) and give up on trying.
Nail on the head there. With social media, facebook, etc., it's too easy for the quieter/shy/introverted to stay in their comfort zone with old friends and family and not throw themselves into the new Uni life. You've got to throw yourself into everything at first, force yourself out of your comfort zone at the same time as everyone else is doing the same so you're all starting out from ground zero. Once everyone else makes friends, it's a million times worse to "break into" them unless you've an extroverted personality.
The Uni student unions can make things worse as, for the first few days at least, they tend to be all about partying, drinking, and other "out there" kinds of socialising, certainly for the moving in weekend. It's too easy for the quiet students to just ignore all that, or go and come away early if it's too boistrous for them, and retreat back into their own SM/Facebook World.
Fresher's Fairs are usually mid week, so there are usually a few days of partying and drinking being the main options. Then even after Freshers Fair, the clubs/societies don't start straight away and maybe another week or two before things start, coinciding with start of lectures etc.
My Son was "quiet/shy/introverted" and fell into the trap of not mixing in the first week or two. It set the scene for the full 3 years of Uni life sadly for him. He did go out to the bars with his flatmates on the first evening on moving in day, and did ok at the first bar just having a couple of lagers and a general chit chat with them. But then we moved onto a cocktail bar and started knocking back cocktails and shorts which just isn't his scene, and then they started getting boistrous and almost bullying him for not matching them with shots. He just made his excuses and left them to it - went back to his flat and got on social media instead! They invited him out again the next night, but he didn't want a repeat so made his excuses. Then he became detached from them as they got the impression he was snobbish/standoffish because he didn't want to do pub crawls with them, so they didn't include him in other things either, i.e. going shopping together, going to other activities together etc. He just stayed in his room and went on social media and facebook to his old friends instead! Very sad really.
It was the covid year, so few of the clubs/societies were in person, so the few he joined were all online too. Lectures were all online, as were tutorials and seminars, so he barely left his room for the first term. His flat mates were polite enough to him when they met in the corridor or kitchen, but they definitely excluded him from any "flat" group activities. All because he wouldn't get paralytically drunk with them that first weekend!
He learned from it all though. Last year, he started a graduate scheme job the month after graduated in a large firm who take in lots of graduates and interns every Summer. We told him to throw himself into everything going on to meet as many of the other newbies as possible and go out socialising with them whatever they were doing. To our delight, he did just that - thankfully, being older and more mature, they didn't just go out getting drunk so he never felt out of his comfort zone. He didn't hold back at all, sometimes going out 2 or 3 times a week in evenings or weekends with different groups doing different things. He absolutely loves his new life, and is so pleased he threw himself into it right from the first day. He went to five a side football on his second day after chatting with one of his bosses on the first day, discussing his hobbies and interests etc and has been going weekly ever since. He went to everything he could, i.e. pub quizzes with the interns, cinema every month with other grads, etc. Now, a year has passed and a new cohort of interns and grads are starting and he's doing his best to take them onboard and get them together and involved with out of work activities, suggesting things they can do, organising a couple of pizza lunches open to all new grads and interns in their first week. He seems to have appointed himself to take the new grads and interns under his wing to get them together in various groups.
He now says his only regret about Uni was not "getting out there" more and leaving his comfort zone and does regret spending too much time with his old friends on social media and facetime rather than going out to "find his tribe".