Managed out of independent

[gentileschi]

My 5 year old son is being managed out of his independent school, we effectively have 2.5 weeks to get something for Sept or come up with home ed plan. Any advise on how to navigate this? My son has an ASD diagnosis with PDA profile. He is not a school refuser and is up, washed and not in burn out or anything which is all I see advise for on pda sites. He just won't do anything he doesn't want to or isn't interested in. He is bright curious and interested in the world, his learning is coming along steadily. I can't see any places at any school let alone consider if he would fit there. Can online learning work at 5 years old? Is there a home education governing body? Who is supposed to look after us? Can you give advice on what I should be doing?

Talk to your local council’s sen section. I did when my DS has struggling at junior school. She was great and gave me the names of schools who would be able to handle my DSs needs.

I arranged a meeting with the headteacher, told her everything ( bawled me eyes out!), and she said that while his year was full she would take him as she had room in the school. I still had to apply to the council but with the headteachers backing was a done deal.

Both schools were “good” state schools, but in reality they were chalk and cheese. DS thrived at the school I moved him to.

Talk to the headteachers of the schools near you, they will give you an honest assessment of whether they could handle your DSs needs (and if they have room or can make room for him).

You absolutely can.

Ask to speak tot he SENCO, don't demand or expect them to drop everything (fairly sure you wouldn't) but ask when it would be convenient to have a conversation.

Explain what is happening and what difficulties he has and whether they can accommodate him.

Obviously I do not know your personal circumstances but teachers are leaving in droves. If you go down the home ed route you might consider employing one.

Or you could go down a very different route. Home ed does not have to be home school.

With PDA I would not put him in state mainstream, I'd be looking for High Coin Centres which are normally attached to primary schools and go through the ECHP process with them. You might find they then advise you to move to a more specialist school once your son's needs have been listed in his ECHP. Both of these placements are hard to get and may have waitlists, so worth looking into asap.

A classmate of my Son has PDA and the above path was taken. I'd also suggest you look at benefits available as getting the right help / school place takes time / effort and may impact your earnings. Your Son may be eligible for benefits too. I think Mumsnet has a SEN section - so may be of help there.

Is there any Montessori school locally?

I know it's often only for pre-school DCs but the concept is for child-led learning all the way through school. There are 2 primary and 1 secondary in my city but if you check with the national association they may either know a school, or a tutor, local to you that may be helpful.

Being given two weeks notice is completely shocking. I know at our school we have to give a terms notice - does your school not have that? In which case they should be giving you that notice at least. I’d negotiate to leave by Easter if you can. I’m sorry, I have an autistic child in a prep and would be floored by this.

He doesn’t have to fail at state school first, la’s will tell you that and obviously it is good evidence but you can build up good evidence for tribunal without having to put your child through two failed placements

Like many on this thread, I don’t rate independent schools for SEN generally speaking. There are, of course, those that specialise and some that don’t but prioritise inclusivity.

There are some that want your money so much they will brag that they have a ‘help hub’ or some such and how well staffed it is but then not be able to cope with anything much at all and - crucially - not want to. Been there as a parent and escaped.

OP I think the way they have eased you out so suddenly is very bad practice and testament to the lack of accountability to pretty much anyone independent schools actually have.

Our DC has minor physical disability and dyspraxia. He was very prem. At 5 he was extremely bright but physically very behind. We were at an independent school until Yr4. Pre Prep was ok, although the red flags were there - moaning about struggling with buttons and cutlery but not understanding that physio and occupational therapy takes time to help. They never really understood that little Johnny sporty posh boy and other dim thug classmates needed to be taught to understand difference and why you should care about your classmates.

The clincher for us was that our DC was very bright but never given recognition. We left a bit on a whim and so didn’t time things right for applying to more suitably geeky prep schools. He started at the local school he’s never looked back and never had any element of his needs or his intellect overlooked.

OP, state schools face all sorts of challenges funding wise but teachers and TA’s in state schools usually have much better skills, experience and training for dealing with SEN. Having lots of other kids to bounce off means it’s far more likely your DC will find his people. You know it won’t be all plain sailing, but you may well find a state setting is just much more kind and clued up even if they are under resourced.

@gentileschi

In which area of the country would you need a suitable school to be, OP?

He’s not going to thrive in state education is he? There’s only so much “child led learning” you can expect in a class of 30. They just don’t have the time to deal with a child who “only does what he’s interested in.’ Home Ed him for everyone’s sake.

I'm an EP. Lots of young children who received an autism diagnosis before school age are very self directed when they first go to school and in the first year or so. It's pretty normal. With the right support and strategies, lots of them become more willing and able to engage in adult led tasks. I suspect many state schools are better set up to support with these kind of difficulties than some private schools. They will have had more experience, access to more external support and they know they have to find a workable solution as just managing the child out is not really an option.

Totally wrong, state settings are used to dealing with all commers. They are also a ton less prejudiced.
As for
Home Ed him for everyone’s sake
you should be ashamed of yourself for saying such a thing.

If you are adamant it has to be private, what about a democratic school like Summerhill https://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/enrolling-your-child/

OP I think you really need to be posting on the SEN boards, or even better on the PDA and specifically PDA and homeschooling groups on Facebook for the best advice (e.g. PDA Home Education (pathological demand avoidance). Parents who aren't experienced with a PDA profile are often going to offer up advice that just isn't helpful and could be damaging.

Your experience is incredibly common in the PDA community and both state and private can fail these children. If your son is struggling now, it is very likely that things are only going to get much worse for him as he progresses through the school system. You really don't want to keep pushing forward with formal education and risk burnout as some children really never fully recover.

Unfortunately your best hope in the meantime is starting to try and work out what is going to suit him now (and it will change all the time). Could this be home ed with some forest/farm school/home ed groups following his interests, perhaps with some PDA skilled tutors etc. or just unschooling if this is what he needs for the time being. There are few schools out there that really understand PDA and it could take some time, even years to find one and get a place even if there is one near you.

You should absolutely be pursuing an EHCP which opens the door to EOTAS. Do it yourself if the school aren't on top of it. You don't have to accept to EHE. However, getting and EHCP let alone EOTAS can be a gruelling experience and certainly isn't going to be quick. You may well need the funds for multiple private reports from Ed Psychs etc. to support you. Be prepared for your LA to let you down time after time.

The system is incredibly unfair but there are many families in the same position and you need to find them and start accessing the resources out there.

My son was refused at one independent school because he was likely autistic, but another independent school welcomed him with open arms and nurtured him, quirks and all.

He's now in the same foundation senior school, gets A's and A*'s in most subjects other than PE.

Thing is, if they do not have staff with the skill set to manage him at 5, then the chances are they won’t as he ages through the school. It’s also difficult for you as a parent to have any idea what he is like in a classroom/group environment. ASD kids can be great at home but be completely different at school. Whilst many independent schools excel in supporting ASD children, many of whom simply need small class sizes and a child centred ethos to cope, some independent schools simply don’t gear themselves to provide SEN because that’s not their mission statement. State schools, however, do need to be able to offer provision.

It’s a real shame they have left it so late in the academic year to raise this with you, and if this was likely to be the outcome, they ought to support you in getting an ECHP so that you can go to the top of the waitlist at your local state school (I believe in most LEAs, an ECHP gives a child the highest priority in most cases). I’d be very angry if they can’t support him next year through getting this sorted, but I’m not sure what your rights are - or even whether you’d want to enforce them given they may - it seems - have reached a decision on his future at the school without even consulting with you along the way.

I think it very much depends on the state school, now with ofsted, league tables etc often even a lot of state schools don’t want sen children that are going to take up funds. Element 2 funding isn’t ring fenced so if it’s not used for sen it can be used for other expenditure in the school so funding that might be used to meet one child’s needs could be used across a higher number of children with or without sen to bring them up a few marks for sats which makes the school look better. I’m abit cynical as my autistic son has an awful time in mainstream but I also think a lot of schools don’t want sen children that don’t look disabled as they can’t be the poster boy/girl to use on marketing material to show how inclusive the school is.

im sure there must be some schools that are good, if the op is totally honest about her sons needs when she visits a school and she gets a good vibe/ they don’t try to put her off they wound be a start. My son wasn’t diagnosed with autism until 6 so he just went to the local school and I didn’t have an sen discussion before as his needs only became apparent once he was in school but I know of other parents who have spoken to the school in advance about sending sen children and they’ve been put off

The other thing to consider is your location. There may be a really good school somewhere else in the country - could you relocate as a family? Obviously it’s a huge upheaval but may ultimately be better than putting his education on hold or dedicating yourself to home education for a number of years. You are important too!

Again, gently, I would urge you to try to move away from the mindset that he can not or will not ever learn at a time other than of his own choosing. Obviously don’t mean full days right now, but even beginning with a regular five minute adult-led session will be something that can be extended and built upon in future.

Otherwise it will be difficult for tutors to work effectively with him (even if they are working in a child-led way they may still want to plan in some adult-led elements) or for him to access education (secondary school or college) at a later stage. Even online schools (such as Interhigh) will have some sessions at fixed times in order for teachers to interact with pupils.

I write this with good intentions as I think you will come up against this sooner or later.

Absolutely - we were managed out of a state school (they have a reputation for encouraging absence of less able children on SAT days) and have had excellent support at a non SEN specialist independent school. I think there are good state schools and bad, same for independent schools. It comes down to finding the right fit for your child.

I’d be really wary of doing this, it’s a minefield where sen schools are concerned. The specialist independents all look good on paper as they are businesses and are good at selling themselves but I’ve heard some horror stories about some. Look at that school that was on panarama last week for one. I know there are some good schools about, my son is actually in one but uprooting your whole life and then not having it work out for whatever reason would be sole destroying

It is risky of course, but there are some good special schools near me (not suitable for OP’s child unfortunately) and I am aware of several families who have moved to this area specifically for these schools.

@gentileschi what sort of area are you? I'm wondering if a more liberal school that allows children to follow their interests might work for him?

@Morph22010 I agree (and have direct experience of this). Even more risky to move for a child with PDA when some research showed that up to 70% of children with this profile end up out of formal education.

The school are rushing an ehcp to be done by the end of term.

Schools don’t give EHCPs. It is the LA. Has an EHCP actually been requested? If so, what week are you on? If one hasn’t already been requested, an EHCP will not be finalised by the end of term if an EHCNA has not even been requested yet. The process takes 20 weeks if you don’t have to appeal, but many do have to appeal, sometimes more than once. LAs often try to get away with not sticking to the timescales too. There is also an exception to the timescales that can sometimes be used by the LA in the summer holidays.

He's had all the support an ehcp can give, it's just a bit of paper.

This isn’t the case. Really it isn’t. An EHCP will ensure DS’s needs are met. Thinking it is just a bit of paper means you don’t understand what an EHCP can provide. Even if you have funded things like 1:1, specialist professional input, multiple therapies (SALT, OT, including SIOT, play therapy, rebound therapy, animal-assisted therapy…) that costs tens of thousands a year (sometimes upwards of £100k pa), there are specialist schools, APs and EOTAS if required. Child led interest based learning can be exactly what an EHCP provides, if necessary. EOTAS is not EHE, but for some it can look the same.

What support has DS had?

The LA can’t just say there are no places. They have to provide an education for DS. Although it may not be in a school of your choice.

Oh my, I'm even more overwhelmed now.

So, my son is not at all a school refuser, it's the school that's burnt out not him! He is learning, bright and intelligent but very head strong due to autism which is not obvious to an unaware layman. He doesn't fit a box, either autistic, pda or neurotypical, I fully expect him to achieve the highest educational standards (he's twice exceptional - diagnosed ASD with pda profile). Nobody who meets or knows him believes me that he has a disability and it is expected that he will settle down by the age of 7 because of brain maturity - so the professionals tell me along with family experience.

I realise the school are talking rubbish about getting the ehcp and that I can't find anywhere without it. If I home school then he will loose his right to future education (easily) and this could be an issue later. The school will have to keep up with him until somewhere else is found or I'm able to navigate how home school could transition back for his later years when he really will need the academic stimulus (like his father and the rest of the family who are all the same and academically brilliant). I've told them to get him ready for year 1 as it's too late for anything else to be done in the next two weeks.

I'll research everything else while we are putting the ehcp in place.

PDA is not going to settle by 7. You have been ill informed there.

It is a lifelong struggle of coping with everyday demands.

Your son may develop coping mechanisms, but these will still be tested even as an adult, and they will certainly not be in place by age 7.