Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

When to invest most in children’s education?

82 replies

Internationalpony · 21/06/2024 00:21

It’s a huge amount to invest to pay for nannies and private schools throughout DC’s lives and not affordable for many people.

So, at what stage of education do you think you get the best return on investment? If you had to make a choice, at what stage do you think it’s worth investing most in your DC’s education:

  • Paying for a nanny from 12 months until going to school (given the importance of pre-school years)
  • Prep school from age 5-11
  • Independent secondary school from age 11-18

Which do you think impacts most on long term outcomes for children?

I’d especially love to hear from people who have DC who have been through one of the above or anyone with knowledge of child development.

OP posts:
TizerorFizz · 24/06/2024 19:44

@Codlingmoths Im in a grammar county and most grammars exceed the private schools - except one - Wycombe Abbey. Most of the private schools fill up with dc who cannot get into the grammars. Not exclusively but they don’t have low level disruption, SEN that’s not dealt with, poor behaviour, etc etc. So yes, most do better than secondary moderns but again, they should. They take the near miss dc!

boombang · 24/06/2024 19:47

TizerorFizz · 23/06/2024 17:03

It is here! Not sure where you are! The bigger issue is dc need a bit more depth to deal with the exams as they are in Sept in y6. Verbal papers and maths are what dc should be able to do with good teaching and reading skills. Non verbal could be a challenge if you haven’t seen it before. Plus multiple choice is often a new concept.

no, it isn't in any state school

TizerorFizz · 24/06/2024 20:08

How do dc pass without tutors then? You are saying it’s impossible. It’s not. The basics of the maths and English tests are NC. VR is based on various skills but one of which is words and verbal skills. NC clearly helps with that. I’ve known many very bright dc pass with no tutoring except exam technique and timing that can be alien. I’m not sure I would leave it to chance now, but I did! Over tutored dc are a well known issue in the grammars. Teaching to the test doesn’t necessarily produce the brightest dc who work things out for themselves. None of the dc I know who did maths at Cambridge had tutors for the 11 plus.

boombang · 24/06/2024 20:47

you dont need to tutor, you just need familiarity with the format of the paper. Just buy a couple of papers in the week or two before the exam, and show your child how the questions are laid out and what they mean. That is all I did

Internationalpony · 24/06/2024 20:56

boombang · 22/06/2024 07:59

This thread is about how "effective" it is to spend tens or hundreds of thousands of pounds on children's education at different points of their lives and contains huge misunderstanding and misconceptions.

For example, the claim that "the bar is low" in state primaries. No it isn't, it is just measuring something different to private primaries, which are measuring one thing only, the ability answer abstract questions in selection tests at 11 or 13- no one needs to know the answers to these questions at any other point in their lives, and concentrating on these actually means that children from private primaries are often going to be classed as behind if they transfer to state.

Nannies are talked about as if they can provide something extra educationally during infancy - no they can't. I was a nanny myself for over a decade, and moved within nanny circles in London in that time, and knew literally hundreds of nannies.

A good nanny provides a high quality of child care, safe, and fun. They cannot provide anything developmentally that a parent cannot provide better. Simply because they don't have the same relationship with the child. Parents have a long term relationship with the child based on love, nannies have a short term relationship based on money, and children know that - at lease they should know that, it is very harmful if they don't.

Therefore, the best "investment" in your child's education in preschool years is your time, which may well involve less hours working and more sacrifice of salary. No amount of money can pay for anything equivalent to quality time with parent.

Other comments, such as saying a state primary "will do" and you need 5 figures a year to pay for music lessons are just snobbery and ignorance.

Privately educated people do not "do better" than state educated people in the long term, on average - some people have a good experience in private, some people have a terrible experience - same as state. The same teachers teach in both, at different times in their careers, the teaching is the same. Private schools often go for the cheaper and easier iGCSEs, which state schools are no longer allowed to offer (because they are easier - keep in mind they are designed for poor schools overseas with no resources, no internet, no practical equipment, no electricity, no photocopier etc - private schools in the UK are not what they were designed for, but such schools have adopted them because they are cheaper to run and easier to get high grades in)

Keep this in mind when comparing private and state school outcomes - that most private schools are using the easier exams..

The teaching is the same, the exams are probably easier - some people do better than they would in state, some do worse

There is none of the benefits that people imagine there are - your child likes their school and is happy there - great! pay if you want to- but also be clear about why they are happier and how they are going to manage once they are out in the "real world"- they are probably happier because they are sheltered, and have access to more facilities..

It isn't to do with better educational achievements.

I wasn’t asking about a nanny vs time with parents - it goes without saying that time with parents is most important! However it’s not the 1950s and most families have dual careers so the choice is a nanny vs nursery. The level of parental attention is the same either way. A nanny provides one-on-one attention and care which a nursery can’t, they can provide care in the child’s own home and are a more stable attachment figure (nurseries might have a high turn over of staff) which might be beneficial emotionally.

To say privately educated people don’t “do better” than state educated people on average is just not true if you’re in the UK. If you look at the people at the very top of every field - government, law, medicine, civil service, the arts, academia - you’ll find privately educated people are hugely over-represented. Whether that’s due to a better quality of education, networks, confidence, social skills is debatable but either way it means they undoubtedly have more opportunities!

OP posts:
whileDScooksmysupper · 25/06/2024 08:39

Don't forget that school/nursery is an important part of their lives and a huge influence on whether they are happy during the time they're there. Even if we think there's no effect at all on their adult success or even their adult happiness, that's hugely important and worth paying for if you're able to. Worth thinking about how you'd approach the choice of working in a job you hated but paid more money vs one you love, as a comparison (and of course the two interact - sometimes what a parent does to pay school fees to help a child be happy is stay in a job they don't like - everybody matters and there aren't always easy answers, all I'm saying is don't just think about success).

I don't think there's a blanket answer to at which stage private education will make most difference to that, it depends on the actual options locally, and of course the option that will make them happiest may not cost, in which case brilliant, lucky you. What being able and willing to pay buys you is choice, a chance of picking a setting that will suit your child.

HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 25/06/2024 08:49

We did:
0-3 Mostly family carers (me, grandparents) with nursery 1-2 days a week for socialisation
4- school nursery 4 days a week
5-9 independent prep school but TBH a good state primary would have been fine
9 onwards selective independent

If I had to pick one definitely the independent for older years. Unless you can cope with the stress and pressure of trying for 11+ State Grammar. We

New posts on this thread. Refresh page