To think unless you’ve been to private school you don’t really understand why it’s so valuable?

[huopp]

I have so many people telling me the state system is fine, a private school just has better facilities, that the teachers aren’t any better, that the extra curricular stuff can be done after school at a state school but at a different venue etc etc…

whilst all the above is true, it isn’t what makes a private education valuable? And that you have to actually have lived it, been to one, to get the whole experience it gives you across the board and not just academically?

i think this is why a lot of people with ‘new money’ don’t always spend it on school fees. In contrast those who have been privately educated mostly want the same for their children.

Did you teach at Kingscote? 🤣🤣

Assuming the OP attended private school, this post doesn't reflect well on the quality of their grammar education. 🤔

Just call me Cromwell

Op might be dyslexic, so I wouldn’t be too snarky. I went to a private school and my grammar and spreadsheet isn’t perfect either for that reason.

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He went to Bedford Modern school. Was just boys when he went but recently became co-ed.
Sailing lessons probably doesn't fully explain it, he sailed to Iceland and trekked across an ice cap. Amongst other fabulous trips.
I still remember him taking me up in a glider plane!

@ohthejoys21 @Bushmillsbabe thank you!

That's amazing @Bushmillsbabe, this is the kind of thing I never would have had access to and that I'd love to be able to provide something even close for my kids.

I think there's so much focus on academics, but this kind of experience takes a lot of time and effort to come by outside a school system and almost certainly just isn't the same and is a bit different if you get to share some of these amazing experiences with your school friends.

This kind of thread really opens my eyes to what's available. At our school everyone took the mick out of private school kids but I'm not sure any of us had ever met one or knew what we were potentially missing.

@palegazelle

we never had flying. But rowing, surfing, wintersports (snowboard / skiing and snowshoe trekking) and golf were part of our regular PE / our annual PE camps.

I also elected tennis, ice hockey, badminton, kayak, soft ball and modern dance for my mandatory “extra-curricular” PE. Not all at the some time, but I wanted to try out as many things as possible (which was encouraged).

That was (is?) fairly standard for selective Swiss state schools afaik. At least in the town I grew up in.

but flying is truly amazing! I wish! (Or don’t. I’m very much afraid of heights 😂)

We had flying at my state grammar - I clocked up over 30 hours by the time I left, and 8 hours in gliders.

We had CCF and you could pick Army or RAF. It was a state boarding school and so a lot of military parents used it and the corps were very popular - used to spend a week in the summer holidays on an RAF base with the units from other schools.

Some of my happiest memories were night exercises in woods hunting for or protecting the brick wrapped in tin foil, or the rather soggy raft building challenges. I'm still friends 35 years later with some of the boys I got hopelessly lost with in the middle of Norfolk!

.....not to mention the tutoring and hothousing the children so they can pass the entrance exams...

Generalised observations re: RG Uni:
Privately educated students certainly do have (initial) confidence. This can give way to anxiety once they are amongst a more diverse range of students, however. Yes, that student from a council estate with a strong accent also got the grades and deserves to be there alongside you. Suddenly that private school privilege you thought you had is challenged by that state school student.

State educated students grow in confidence. First generation University students in particular are acutely aware of their status here, alongside students who it has been a 'when you go to Uni' rather than an 'if' or something not even discussed at home.
When one of my students gets a first class degree it is joyous. I feel so proud of them. It is hard work regardless of background. BUT - accuse me of bias (I know some will), but when one of my students, from a state school background, who has had to work throughout their degree, who has no financial support from home, and have struggled with crippling self doubt in the initial stages of their degree, when they achieve a first class degree....overcoming socio-economic and class-based obstacles makes their achievement seem so much more.

Their achievement is so much more. They’ve done it on their own basically but with help from teachers. Dh did this. To this day I don’t think his parents fully understand how well he did. No one in his family had ever been to university and he went to Cambridge. The teachers at his state school were awesome and were so excited for him.

I know its not the point of the thread, but anyone who would like their kids to try gliding, they can join RAF cadets.
Or army cadets for a wide range of other opportunities.
My son is in army cadets and it is great.

My husband went to private school, a very elite one - he though was on a scholarship. Had a lot of pressure to keep it.

But before that school he went
to a private prep which he has really fond memories of very nurturing and small classes.

His view on private school it depends on what you wanting from it. One was all about connections and money, families buying there way in. They won’t be affected by the vat as it’s where the very rich are buying a seat at the table. But the small prep school he went to won’t survive and that’s sad - it’s a wonderful place supporting children who often are SEN and my own husband who was sent there due to not coping in a large primary school. His parents struggled financially and conflict with their own political views (socialist) but knew their son needed the extra support that the state school couldn’t offer.

Privately educated here. My DC weren't. It was awful; bullying was rife, a significant number of the girls upwards of U5 had coke habits, eating disorders, or both. No amount of fantastic facilities is worth it.
I also simply could not afford to send one, let alone all of my DC to a private school, they have become totally unattainable to the majority of people in my neck of the woods.

And my main objection is that that type of education and experience should be available to all children through a state school education, not just those whose parents can afford it.

You mean the experience of should be available to all kids as your objective?

bullying was rife, a significant number of the girls upwards of U5 had coke habits, eating disorders, or both.

?

I went to state school and then Cambridge. I felt as well-educated as the private school kids.

No. The type of experience the OP clearly had and would like to remain available only to those able to access private school.

Hi @Brandnewgranny

To go to a school like Eton, at age 10/11 you have to perform well enough in a standardized exam (ISEB pre-test) which gets you invited back for a second school-specific exam + interview. The Eton List Test is actually a well-known and interesting exam designed by psychologists at Cambridge University that you (apparently) cannot study for.

They mean the same thing really. @Brandnewgranny . Private or Independent schools are just schools that are independent of local education authorities and privately funded through fees. They vary from very big, grand institutions to much smaller and more accessible, but the academic standards required have mostly shot up in recent years as almost all schools have moved away from entry via registration at birth. Eton used to enrol sons of Etonians by right, hence multiple generations of the same families going there, the entrenched priviledge of its reputation etc, but this ended some time ago, and entry testing is now pretty rigorous and the bar pretty high. As a result it's a more meritocratic school than it's given credit for.
The other grouping where terminology seems confusing is public schools. These tend to be older and more prestigious independent schools, and are termed 'public' to denote that they are not private, i.e. they are regulated by boards of governors. The original (nine?) Public schools were a group investigated by a parliamentary commission in the 19th century because of their scandalous conditions, abuses etc, and to regularise their status- most had been established as charities to educate 'poor scholars' but were really taking in fee paying pupils. The Public Schools Act laid out the legally required standards and governance for these nine, while other private schools that weren't investigated were exempted at the time. I think the other point about being 'public' was that they were the alternative to having a private tutor or governess at home.

That's odd. STEM subject?

I think private schools can give people a false sense of confidence and entitlement that may not be grounded in reality. A lot people who attend private have a lot of money and private schools cater for that social environment, however if you a middle class person without that sort of money confidence can only get you so far.

Why false confidence? You are either confident or you are not.

From my own admittedly limited experience, private schools do not necessarily instil confidence. What they do is create a very polarised environment. There are bold pupils who are indeed confident, and their confidence is heightened by the environment, and also pupils who are not as confident, and made less so by the environment. The ethos is strongly hierarchical and reinforces innate dispositions.

Maybe confidence based on having smoke blown up your arse rather than earned through mastery and a realistic assessment of your abilities?

Talking the talk but not walking the walk?

Brownie points are definitely awarded for being able to talk the talk!