Opinions needed on Yr3 son's school - state to private?

[OneAzureBeaker]

So my son is NOT thriving at his primary. He spends half his time out of the classroom either in the library or in internal suspension outside the Head's office.
I suspect he has ASD and ADHD but he's also very bright, loves maths, number facts and reading. He has also destroyed the classroom, flipped tables, hit other children apparently without warning.
I do not know the child school sees. At home he is loving and kind and sweet, although he finds transitions difficult, especially when in hyperfocus mode, and is very sensory and CANNOT sit still.
We are trying to get him diagnosed but the waiting list is YEARS long, so we are now on the waiting list for private diagnosis.
The school SENCO (who was also his class teacher) spent years denying that he could possibly have any sort of SEN, and was merely making poor choices, and issued sticker charts.
After a year of MyPlans and generally being fobbed off I insisted on an EHCP needs assessment which is now very overdue and likely to stay so.
I can't bear this any longer so I've found a lovely private school. It will be a huge financial struggle (I'm only a part time teacher so don't earn much, plus 2 other children), and I'm not even sure they will take a child that apparently has such severe behavioural issues, but I will try.
Anyone have any advice, opinions, or suggestions?
TIA

I’d encourage you to look at Potential Plus charity if you think he is academically gifted.

This behaviours do sound extreme but definitely not unique for DME children. I could see my son going this way when we moved him private. He was much happier with small class sizes and greater breath of subject. He’s now thriving in a grammar school.

Thanks. I had been relying on sendias advice. Maybe I need to look at others.

OP IPSEA and SOSiSEN are excellent and unbiased.

I second looking at IPSEA and SOSSEN.

There are some good SENDAISS advisors, but too many give dreadful advice and perpetuate unlawful myths. SENDIASS receives LA funding so they aren’t truly independent and will ultimately toe the party line. They should have told you the statutory timescales can be enforced via JR if necessary. They should have told you the school is not being honest about 1:1 and that provision detailed, specified and quantified in EHCPs is enforceable. They should have advised you that you don’t need to EHE and there are options if school is inappropriate. They should have told you there are SEMH needs alongside needs in the 3 other broad areas of SEN.

It’s not necessarily mine was doing this at a similar age and he’s now been in autism special school for 5 years. He had semh needs arising from autism but his primary need is autism (or communication and interaction as it’s called in ehcp). I don’t think he would be doing so well in an semh school as most have a difference approach to a c&i school. When they are in a place that is meeting primary needs the semh goes down anyway

This is all very well and advice I would have given but unfortunately our la has now got to the point where it pretty much ignores everything and there are no sanctions it can be given with any teeth. It was one of those named and shamed in special needs hall of shame article last week. The ipsea letter used to get results but now ehcp assessments are averaging over a year compared to legal 20 weeks. If people complain they are now being told that what it takes and tough basically. People can escalate to local government ombudsman who agree there are failing but then give something like £100 per month compensation for each month of lost education so it’s still cheaper for the la to pay this compensation than get the support in place earlier.

@Morph22010 JR works even in LAs who think they can ignore it.

Maybe check out private specialist schools like www.witherslackgroup.co.uk/

But it’s bloody expensive to actually have to take an la to judicial review, even the pre action letter is beyond the means of a lot of parents. At one time the threat of JR used to be enough to get our la to do something but sadly that is no longer the case.

No it isn’t. JR proceedings themselves for failure to comply with EHCP statutory timescales and failure to deliver provision in F are brought in the child’s name. Therefore, the child can be eligible for legal aid in their own right. This doesn’t cover the pre-action letter, that is in the parent’s name, so no legal aid unless the parents are eligible, but SOSSEN can help with a pre-action letter for free. There is a wait, but not 6 months.

This
Parents pay good money for private education and won’t want this kind of thing in their children’s classrooms. Neither will the teachers want to put up with it. Kids who can’t behave are often managed out of private schools.
Meaning this realistically. My kids are at state school.

I didn’t think sossen pre action letter was free it used to be around £150 have they changed it?

Could you homeschool?

@Morph22010 SOSSEN started a PAP project which is free for certain things, including failure to comply with the EHCP statutory timescales and failure to provide provision in F.

I would go for it OP. There have been lots of posts saying people have sent their children private because they have SEN and were not getting decent provision in state.

Small class sizes in a private school could be enough but generally private schools are limited in how much SEN support they are prepared to provide. However, if it is a big stretch to family finances to meet the fees now I wouldn’t do it. If Labour win they promise to put VAT on fees which would add 20%, and fees having been increasing by 10% or sometimes even more per year over the last few years. On top of that you have to pay for expensive uniforms, text books, sports kit, trips…

In terms of the alternative being home schooling, if you are not confident with teaching there are also online schools. These are specialist providers, nothing like the attempts local schools did in lockdowns.

Private independent mainstream, specialist and online schools can be specified in an EHCP which would mean their fees are paid.

@OneAzureBeaker how have you progressed with your little one since you started this thread?