Should we go into debt for Private School?

[Chocolateporridge]

Our daughter has been offered a 50% bursary at a nearby Private School. She's a highly able learner and is struggling at her current school because she's not being pushed enough. She loved her visit to the Private school and we know she'd absolutely thrive there, but to be able to afford the 50% fees we'd need to borrow massively against our mortgage.

It would mean no foreign holidays and really cutting back on little luxuries... is it worth it long term?

My parents sent me to a private school they couldn't afford. It meant my mum had to work long hours and we didn't have holidays (foreign or otherwise). I know why they did it - my brother was dyslexic (and probably had ADHD) and he was struggling at school. His best friend went to private school and he begged to go too. They sent him then offered me private school as well at Y7. In y10 (lower fifth as we called it) my dad got ill, we struggled to pay the bills, had to sell the house. School kept me to the end of gcses but it was odd being in private school but unable to afford anything, like we couldn't go for a swim at mums work gym which was really cheap. I developed a punk sense of fashion out of necessity because we couldn't afford new clothes.
What I took out of that experience was that the home equity saved us. We were able to get a small house in a crap area, way out of town.
Christmas of y11 they sold the house, paid the debt and that summer we went camping (in France, so good weather!) Security for the children is worth way more than expensive education.
OTOH if you have an amazing employer (local government, NHS) where you get a decent sick package, you might want to gamble. Also consider what happens if your marriage goes tits up, as that's another situation where you might need to equity to finance 2 homes.

If she is struggling mentally and in cshms waiting lists, awaiting an asd assessment etc, if you dont go down this route - i would think that private asssessments and therapies would be a better spend than tutoring.

If your loan to value ratio
is good you can take out a loan you don’t need for the house.

It’s a strange school to predict a 100% bursary for a future applicant but only give 50% now for the child that’s done the exams. A very odd thing when they might see fewer dc at the school when vat is added. Most schools are keeping a very close eye on fee income and bursaries right now.

I'd do it if I were in your shoes, given the specific circumstances you describe.

We save up money and financial resources (including home equity) for a rainy day.

If your child is having suicidal thoughts then this is that rainy day.

Initially, I thought - no. But with ASD and serious mental health circumstances, then it's a yes from me. This is when private schools can (potentially) really be worth the economic sacrifice.

the school have told me that if there's enough bursaries available we'd be eligible for 100% plus if you have a sibling already there then you get priority

Priority for a place or for a second bursary?

I would spend the money on a private ASD assessment first, to be honest.

@Shinyandnew1 I think that’s odd too. How can they promise hundreds of thousands £ right now for a child they’ve not met? If funds allow is the killer though!

@Chocolateporridge to be honest I would be very wary about banking on future bursaries. Our school has already said they will end 100% bursaries and only fund any fee help for existing pupils if Labour bring in the 20% VAT.

the school have told me that if there's enough bursaries available
IF

we'd be eligible for 100% plus if you have a sibling already there then you get priority
IF

If your financial circumstances change then you need to let them know and they'll re-assess, but obviously if our finances improve then we'll be able to afford more,
IF - but you're not able to afford that "more" right now. You have help for two years.

so when our daughter leaves we'd be able to pay more towards our younger child's fees.

If your second child gets in on a 100% bursary (very optimistic) when your first leaves, that will probably be reduced to 50%. And even without a Labour government, that will be 50% of more than it is now, because fees rise annually.

Plus your first will presumably be in uni which you'll be expected to financially support her for. That's MASSIVE outgoings.

Please understand that private schools do not work in the way state schools do. This is a selective school. It trades on grades. Your child has something they want. They're offering part of what you do. The deal right now isn't in your favour. They've got you bedazzled because you feel special. That's how this works. Move past the feelings and look at the numbers in black and white. Then negotiate. This is business.

Also, you're forgoing financial security and opportunities for your younger child if you accept this deal too. She's not going to be in the "good" school and she'll have no nice new things or holidays. If you can't afford the deal offered to her if she passes the entrance exam, she'll very likely end up resentful that everything went to her sister. There's more to this situation than a bursary that's not enough.

No

Is there a grammar school in your area?