Should we go into debt for Private School?

[Chocolateporridge]

Our daughter has been offered a 50% bursary at a nearby Private School. She's a highly able learner and is struggling at her current school because she's not being pushed enough. She loved her visit to the Private school and we know she'd absolutely thrive there, but to be able to afford the 50% fees we'd need to borrow massively against our mortgage.

It would mean no foreign holidays and really cutting back on little luxuries... is it worth it long term?

No. It’s not worth going into debt for unless it’s a last resort for a child that can’t cope anywhere else.

Supplement her education at home/via tutoring if she needs pushing.

Yes if she is struggling. I would do it.

I would, but for me education is everything, nobody can take that way from you. How is she going to feel later if you didn’t even try?
do you need “little luxuries” FWIW we will also cut back massively for private secondary and frankly I would do anything to get my kid a good education and not send her to the local schools that are failing and have been in special measures.

Anything else you could do? Work more, change jobs, ask a relative to help?

Absolutely not.
I’d rather spend money getting tutors, driving to a different state school, or doing challenging extra curricular activities.

Way to risky to get debt for it, also to not be sure you can cover the cost of her whole schooling.

I guess wider context would probably help. Eg if shit happens do you have assets to sell or wealthy relatives, or a likely big inheritance you’ll receive in the coming years. Because that’s a very different situation to someone who stands to loose their home and be in big financial shit if they can’t keep up with the private school debt.

I wouldn’t.

I don’t believe for one minute that state schools can’t nurture high performing children. I think you need to explore the issues more with the school or look at alternative state schools.

My dses are both considered very academic and both went to the local state schools who really nurtured and pushed them. One is now at Oxford, one at UCL.

Please keep in mind too that you will be expected to support through university, the maintenance loan doesn’t even cover rent if you are on a decent wage!

If she’s that bright she will get all 9s in a good state secondary. Just find a good state secondary.
It’s common for bright kids to find primary boring. Private school comes with a lifestyle such as holidays, skiing with school etc. if you can’t afford all that I wouldn’t do it

Thank you all for such balanced replies!

Sorry for not responding, in the whirlwind of everything I totally forgot that I'd started this thread!

To clarify a few things, we're in Scotland so things are a little bit different up here. My daughter is about to go into S3 this year.

Our local school is really not great, way down the bottom of the league table and so are the other nearby schools.

My daughter isn't struggling academically, but she's really struggling mentally. She loves learning and really needs to be stimulated but she feels like she's stagnating and she's bored and her behaviour is deteriorating as a result. She's awaiting an ASD assessment but it could be another couple of years for that. The behaviour in the school is awful and I think she might also be anxious about what's going to happen next each day. She's losing her love of learning and as a result she's depressed to the point of feeling suicidal and we've had to involve CAMHS.

We've had 2 family members offer to help us out, to a small extent, so I'm feeling a bit better because I know that the first 2 years fees are covered , the last 2 years should be ok, but we could release funds from our mortgage if necessary.

The school advised me yesterday that when our younger child joins the school they'd be eligible for a 100% bursary if they pass the entrance exams so that's a massive relief!

We will definitely have to stop any foreign holidays and just stick with camping etc and no new furniture or cars but I'm thinking we can probably do it.

Feeling very nervous about it all though!

given what you've said about mental health etc, it sounds like the private school would be a good option.

@Chocolateporridge I posted earlier in the thread that it would really depend on what your financial situation was - I've taken money out of mortgage to help with school fees but at a manageable level.
I'm also in Scotland and DS moving this year for P6 for similar reasons. To me it's a yes, go for it.
There's quite a lot of hatred on MN for private schools. If you'd posted that you were planning to take money out for a round the world cruise or a top of the range car you'd have been told that that's a great idea. God forbid we make sacrifices to educate our children.

And I'd ignore the 'it comes with a lifestyle' posts. No-one is forcing you to drive a flashier car, go on flashier holidays or live a different life because of the school your child goes to. Ski trips are not compulsory. There are plenty of 'normal' kids at private school whose parents don't live the high life!

Whilst I think the OP is viewing private school through rose tinted glasses it's certainly the case that at our school the kids with titles often arrive in the shabbiest cars. Muddy old 4 x 4s rather than the flash cars.

I really do think you need to think very long and hard about doing this though OP.

Not where my DDs went to school. Universally the rich had lovely cars. Many had drivers! Who cares though? People spend money on £££££ houses and all sorts of things.

@Chocolateporridge I do think you have been wrong in taking your DD to see a school when you know you cannot really afford it. Of course your DD would like it! Where do the dc in that school go afterwards? To fee paying schools you cannot afford either? You will have to have enough to pay the vat and possible price rises. Unless you have a future bursary offer for dc, I’d be careful about that. Vat might make the school lose pupils and then bursary income falls if found from fees. Many schools use fees for bursaries.

Im not saying don’t do it but don’t expect miracles from private either. Many don’t push dc very hard. Destinations tell you if they do. Are they going to schools that are selective?

@TizerorFizz we took her because we were under the impression she'd be eligible for a bursary, which she is, but you don't know your bursary award until after you're offered a place, and to be offered a place you need to pass the entrance exams, so it was unavoidable that she would have to visit the school. She achieved some of the highest scores they've seen recently.

Thankfully it's a High School so afterwards, if she chooses University, it's free in Scotland.

The bursary award stays with them through their time at the school.

Send them to a good state school and keep the money you do have aside for tutoring if needed.

1 hour a week tutoring with an excellent retired maths teacher helped me go from nearly failing A level maths to getting an A* at the end. Life isn’t a level playing field and I’m very grateful to my parents, I know I was lucky.

@Chocolateporridge So how do you know the bursary for your other child will be 100%? I think once you’ve shown her the school she will have to go. How on earth will you say No now? You can’t. The carrot is well and truly dangled! You are also lucky there’s no bursary review. I’ve not come across that. If people inherit ££££££ surely they don’t keep the bursary then? If a bursary is funded from fees, other parents are probably making sacrifices too so people keeping money they don’t need is utterly wrong in my view.

@Chocolateporridge wow you are lucky to get an award for their entire time. Is it definitely not reviewed annually?

You'd expect to cut back on everything if you have been awarded a bursary. So you are right, no holidays etc. My son is on a 70% bursary and we do not go away on all inclusive holidays etc. It is something we have decided to do for his benefit.

Also as others have said; extras cost a fortune. So it isn't just the fees. To start at the school we had to fork out nearly £1k on uniform alone.

No, absolutely not. I didn't even know you could borrow against your mortgage for something like that. Spend your money on private tuition, and speak to her current school. And enjoy your life as a family, it's not fair to deprive your other kid(s) if you have them. School results don't matter once you're an adult and have had work experience.

No, private school is something that you can do if you can afford it.

Definitely don't go into debt. Use any spare money you have for a private tuition.

@TizerorFizz the school have told me that if there's enough bursaries available we'd be eligible for 100% plus if you have a sibling already there then you get priority @twistyizzy If your financial circumstances change then you need to let them know and they'll re-assess, but obviously if our finances improve then we'll be able to afford more, so when our daughter leaves we'd be able to pay more towards our younger child's fees.

@royaloris you're absolutely right, and I never had a foreign holiday, when I was growing up but still had lots of great times with my family.

My son starts in August and I've priced up a year worth of uniform at £300 and that includes a brand new blazer rather than using the thrift shop for that. Not all schools have the same £££ extras.