Should we go into debt for Private School?

[Chocolateporridge]

Our daughter has been offered a 50% bursary at a nearby Private School. She's a highly able learner and is struggling at her current school because she's not being pushed enough. She loved her visit to the Private school and we know she'd absolutely thrive there, but to be able to afford the 50% fees we'd need to borrow massively against our mortgage.

It would mean no foreign holidays and really cutting back on little luxuries... is it worth it long term?

No of course not. Private school is a luxury and is incredibly expensive and a massive commitment. Your daughter will be fine.

Agree too risky with potential price hikes. Keeping up with the lifestyle of the other pupils could be a major issue, depending on the culture at the school.

Why not let her have fun with extra curriculars, with a mix of fun things and more academic. Pony riding? Coding in a small group? Music? Swimming to a high standard. Don’t over do it though, so she doesn’t get worn down.

My answer to this would depend on what year she is in and what your other options are for her schooling.

If you have ofsted outstanding state schools near you (and the results are fab and you're happy with their pastoral care) then I'd look to get her into one of these.

If this isn't possible and she's primary aged, I'd not go private.

If she's secondary aged and your only options are crap state schools, then yes I'd do it.

ETA your title mentions debt but your post mentions just cutting foreign hols and luxuries. I would not go into debt for private school in any circumstances, but I'd cut luxuries.

No I think you’d be mad to get into debt to pay for schooling in the UK

I think I would. If you have only one dc and you can remortgage to fund and you're happy to keep working to earn that money back it would be worth it for me.

If she is not reaching potential could you not spend some money on extra private tuition ?

It might be worth cutting out luxuries like holidays but I would not risk remortgaging the house especially at the moment when rates are high and the market could fall further (although you do not say how much of the house you own). what are the local state secondary schools like? How big is the house? Could you downsize from 4 bed to 3 for example and save money that way.

No. Save the money for tutors (if required) and support through university.

From experience….
definite no
So many other ways to challenge her
Not in financial interests of whole family

It would be 100% no from me too.

I can see why you are tempted but it would be madness. I know you want the best for her, but bringing financial stress in a home is NOT worth it. Don’t do it. Good luck x

Your financial security would be rested upon your child doing well at school, if they don't do well or as well as you would like, what then?

No way would I ask my child to carry the weight of that responsibility, particularly when you simply don't have the funds to hand and are reliant on remortgaging their home.

I feel sad that you have even entertained this idea, surely they will have passed the entrance exam 😕

When you say 'borrow massively against your mortgage' what does this actually mean? What LTV would you be left with and would the repayments be affordable? Everyone jumping to the 'it's far too risky' but actually borrowing money against secured assets is the less riskiest way to finance.

For context we have released some funds to support with a couple of years of school fees. It still leaves us with around £250k equity in the house (50%), a manageable mortgage of £1.4K (less than 20% of our net take home pay) and we have a plan to pay it off with pension funds at age 57.

This to me isn't risky so the devil really is in the detail here.

I think OP that you may be feeling very flattered. Lovely, sparkly schools do a good job of selling themselves and of flattering potential recipients of bursaries. They'll be making you feel special because you have something they want - a child who at the moment is performing very well and will boost their own results. Do think clearly about what is best for you and your family and child.
I know children (now in their mid twenties because I'm old!) who were on packages because of their musical prowess. Those children had to work blimmin hard in all the school ensembles, and at least one suffered mentally because of the strain of expectation. Her parents (my BiL and wife) definitely regret the move they made. But at the time I remember them all being dead chuffed at the offer.
My own children weren't exactly stretched at any of their state schools. But I hope we did a decent job at home (without tutors) of offering opportunities and challenge. And tbh why would you want tutors when your child is performing well? Surely that's for kids who struggle. Let her feel good about being top of the pile where she is. There is a lot to be said for that

I know children (now in their mid twenties because I'm old!) who were on packages because of their musical prowess. Those children had to work blimmin hard in all the school ensembles,

Interestingly, I know a young person who was on a musical package. She ended up hating playing her instrument and hasn't touched it since leaving school.

No you shouldn’t

I know youre joking but I'll say it anyway because there's probably people that actually think that on Mumsnet but 93% of the population go to regular schools and almost all of them turn out fine.
Also did anyone read spare by prince harry? He went to the best schools in England and still got up to all kinds of antics.
Save your money op

Oh sorry I just realised the person I was replying to said "aren't" not "are"lol

As a private school parent I would say no. Cutting down on luxuries, sure, debt no.

i would suggest telling the head and the bursar that you can’t take the offer unless the bursary is (70/80/95) percent - whatever it needs to be for you to manage without going into debt.

people do negotiate these offers.

Though re reading your message about no foreign holidays - lots of dc at my dc’s school have no foreign holidays and their parents don’t have luxuries (and they are not on bursaries)

I'm a big fan of the indie school our DS is at, but I wouldn't go into debt for it, no matter how much I love it (and he's thrived there). PPs are right, it's not just the fees, it's all the extras - uniforms can be £1k plus (I have experience of this), school trips (can be in the thousands - again we've done it), extracurricular singing, instrument lessons etc etc.

I wouldn't worry too much about "keeping up" with foreign hols from other students. This hasn't been our experience at all - of course there are some ridiculously wealthy parents, but most are normal parents trying to do the best for their DCs and can't afford fancy things (although cars etc at 17 does seem to be the norm).

I agree - the devil is in the detail. We are also considering doing this (release equity from the house to go towards paying school fees). However in our case our LTV is currently 11%. The additional borrowing would increase this to about 24% and I will be increasing my work hours from part time to full time which will more than cover the additional mortgage payment (leaving some money to afford school trips, uniform, lunches and all the extras the come with private school) so that our current lifestyle would remain the same (with holidays etc). This doesn't seem too risky to me.

No. Speaking as a privately-educated person whose parents struggled to pay the fees (long time ago) and overcommitted, the pressure on the child is too much. Not only do you feel you have to do well because of the school you’ve been moved to, you need to do well because your parents have gone into debt to send you there. It doesn’t matter whether the parents say it or not, the pressure is still there.

No, I don't think it is worth it. You run a risk of putting pressure on your DD to show its been 'worth it'. I'd focus more on building her confidence, well being and critical thinking skills. Invest in extra curricular activities and go on enriching experiences as a family. Let her discover who she is and what her attributes are in a fun, relaxed way minus all the inevitable pressure and financial drain you'll face at private school.

It would depend what you meant by struggling.

If struggling means settled with friends, doing well, but not reaching her full academic potential then I'd not consider borrowing against a home or having no family holidays for private school. I'd cut back in other areas to have tutors or enrichment opportunities though.

If struggling means has poor mental health, is finding the school environment difficult to manage, doesn't have a good group of friends and isn't doing well academically then it's something I would seriously consider alongside other options whilst being aware it's a huge financial risk.

I know children (now in their mid twenties because I'm old!) who were on packages because of their musical prowess. Those children had to work blimmin hard in all the school ensembles,

Name change for this as I don’t want to inadvertently out the family involved.

Sports scholarship and probable high functioning ASD that may have been more likely to receive support in the State sector. Massive anxiety and what is probably meeting the threshold for anorexia, again unsupported.