What jobs do private school parents do?

[gormin]

If your DC go to a local private (non-boarding) school, what kind of job/salary do you have?

I'm mostly just being nosey. DS has just started (state) primary and we're happy with it but thinking for secondary we may go private. But I wouldn't want him to be the only kid who doesn't come from a mega-rich family.

On a related note, do kids at private schools feel a lot of pressure to wear designer clothes, go on expensive holidays, etc because their friends do?

DH and I are both state educated, as you can probably tell from my ignorance! We're doing ok, professional jobs with above average salaries, could definitely afford private with some sacrifices, but definitely not 'rich' or 'posh' in any way.

We are IT & cyber senior managers with two six figure incomes plus some property income on top. No grandparent support. In short continuing to set aside the nursery costs and add a little more.

@lattemerde - yes agree. I've spent a lot of time on private school threads this last year as we have gone through the process of deciding whether to send DS (then DD). Lots of posters like to say private school is out of the question on salaries less than £300k which is ridiculous. I still recall a similar quote on another thread by a poster who said they couldn't afford it but their mortgage plus pension contributions came to £8k a month!

If you need to maintain a high-end lifestyle then yes perhaps, but that's a choice. We're on a combined income of £160k and DS will start next year. Granted we're doing secondary only for 2 kids but it'll come with some compromises like only 1 (not fancy car), basic holidays etc. But doable.

I guess that was kind of my question - are most people maintaining the high end lifestyle as well or stretching themselves? Our household income is similar to yours @Heatherbell1978 so we could manage school fees but would have to compromise on cars, holidays, etc. which could be awkward for the child if everyone else has a lavish lifestyle. But this thread has been quite reassuring on that front!

DC goes to a west London girls day indie with annual fee around 24K (plus few extras)

We both work full time in tech, combined pre-tax income about £210 K (with small variations due to bonus). We have no other income and do not receive help with school fees from grand parents.

We are friendly/familiar with some of the other families and have an approximate idea of what they do. My guess is our household income will roughly be in the bottom third among other parents in the school.

Some of the other parents are in mid to senior positions in finance (investment banks, insurance, asset management, tax/audit etc), law, senior media execs, property/construction business, business owners, senior journalists. Only one doctor as far as I know. In all households, both parents work. I do not know if any of them receive help from elsewhere, but going by the jobs they hold, they probably don't need to.

Also, a small number of international families : from Hong Kong, Turkey, Ukraine etc that seem very wealthy, but I don't know what they do for a living.

On a related note, do kids at private schools feel a lot of pressure to wear designer clothes, go on expensive holidays, etc because their friends do?

There is some. Some of the holidays other DC take are conspicuously extravagant (regular social media updates don't help), some have multiple holiday homes in different parts of the world.. similarly branded clothes/bags etc. There is also a small amount of flaunting (possibly unintentional). But by no means it's the majority, maybe about 10% of the class.

DH and I are both state educated, as you can probably tell from my ignorance! We're doing ok, professional jobs with above average salaries, could definitely afford private with some sacrifices, but definitely not 'rich' or 'posh' in any way.

We have similar backgrond too and were concerned about the same thing when deciding whether to go for an independent school. We went this route for academic quality (and happy so far with the choice). I still worry about the effect on DC of being surrounded by exceptionally wealthy peers. She does notice it and we have had multiple conversations about this. So far DC seems grounded and not particularly influenced by it, she just noticed that there is a difference, while in her state primary nothing like this was visible.

Honestly, unless you are sending your child to a famous boarding school, the vast majority of the parents will have very normal professional jobs and live in very normal houses. Hardly anyone will be able to afford the fees without some sacrifices and when it comes to expensive school trips (like ski trips/NYC etc) by far not everyone will go or they will pick one of several trips to go on.

I think all teens regardless of the school will be into all the usual sports and expensive make-up brands. That has nothing to do with the school.

My daughter's main hobby is show jumping and I have noticed WAY more snobbery, extreme wealth and general unpleasantness in the equestrian world than in any of the private schools she attended/still attends.

I've spent a lot of time (too much!) going through whether we could afford it and the conclusion is yes we could. There are risks as we're funding from income but we have some mitigations in place for that. The reality is we don't have a lavish lifestyle by choice so won't be missing out on anything really. Have friends who are shocked that we're doing this but same friends go to Disney Florida each year costing £10k which we wouldn't dream of spending on a holiday (private school or not).

I'm not worried at all about 'keeping up'. DS will bus to school every day so I won't be part of the school run crowd. And the private day schools where I live are quite mixed from what I know. I'm in Edinburgh where a lot of kids go to private school for secondary so although it's not cheap, it's not just for the real elite here

In my experience, people fall into two camps without much middle ground.
There are the set who allow their expenses to drift upwards as their income increases, maintain a fairly lavish lifestyle, buy a new car every 3-4 years, run an interest-only mortgage to maximise disposable income etc. Then there are the set who live below their means, don't change their car until they need to, save / overpay their mortgage, etc.
We are friends with a family who are ostensibly in a similar position - similar ages, incomes, same number of kids at schools with similar fees. On the surface they look richer than us - fancier clothes with designer labels, newer fancier car, more trips abroad. But their expenditure is facilitated by running a large interest-only mortgage. We lived modestly, paid off the mortgage and have enough saved to pay school fees for a good while. The difference is not visible from the outside.

If the school offers a good staff discount then there are likely to be lots of teachers' kids, which will up the normality quota (there are loads at our school).

We have a really big range (rural, quite expensive prep near a city) but an awful lot of company directors. Mostly 2 parent working families but a fair number of SHAPS and single parents too. No idea how many grandparents pay (enough that we have a Grandparents Day) or how many are on bursaries. Some examples are:

Company Directors
Development Managers
Teaching Assistants
Farmers
Plumbers
Portfolio Managers
Personal Trainers
Artists
Project Managers
IT Consultants
Managing Directors
Doctors
Professional Sportspeople
NHS roles
Lawyers
Musicians
Photographers
Sales
HR
Headteachers
Investment Bankers
Business Owners
Teachers
Engineers
Pastor
Carpenter
CEOs
PR
Social Media
Retail

We are in London prep. Combined income approx £300-£400k. Paying for 2 kids from income no grandparent help.
It feels like a huge commitment bearing in mind uncertainty re level of future fees and we also have a big mortgage.
I had a very large g+t after settling the spring term bill before Christmas.
Other parents are mainly medics, bankers, lawyers and teachers. (No idea what they earn it could be anything… but we don’t feel out of place due to income).

Kids in prep really do not care about the cars the parents drive, the size of their houses, designer clothes, or who goes on flash holidays. (Some parents do!) nieces and nephews all care about labels on their clothes whether they are in comp, private or grammar.

teenage nieces and nephews all care about labels on their clothes whether they are in comp, private or grammar.

Maybe I have weird children but none of them have been bothered about labels ( all independently educated) in fact the reverse . ‘Vintage’ (known as jumble sale in our day🤣) is the name of the game . Getting the youngest in particular to wear anything new is a battle. It’s seen as completely unacceptable to be in ‘fast fashion’

Not weird at all. I hope mine are the same once they are teens!

I'm on my own with my daughter, and a teacher - so don't earn big bucks - but I'm in the unusual situation that her father, who is wealthy, and lives abroad, pays the fees. He has various businesses. I don't speak to him much - it's always been a very business-type relationship since she was born, so I can't be more specific. The schooling was his idea.

So, my daughter is someone who goes to school with rich kids (some of the parties / playdates are obscene, and she has to hear about lots of luxurious holidays from her friends), so she is the odd one out on that score. We come home from playdates and parties at literal mansions to our tiny little house, with clothes drying on an airer in the kitchen.

It doesn't bother her though, apart from wishing she had a big garden (which does make me feel bad), and she doesn't ask for lots of things, like Air-Ups and posh holidays. She actually says 'no', when I offer to buy her things sometimes, because she doesn't want to 'waste money', bless her.

I believe she has benefited from the small class sizes, and the education is very good - and I actually think she has better values and sophistication than many of her peers, but then, of course, I'm biased!

I've made a couple of close, really down-to-earth, despite wealthy friends, but many of the other parents are very vacuous, I have to be honest.