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Education

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What jobs do private school parents do?

139 replies

gormin · 27/12/2023 11:10

If your DC go to a local private (non-boarding) school, what kind of job/salary do you have?

I'm mostly just being nosey. DS has just started (state) primary and we're happy with it but thinking for secondary we may go private. But I wouldn't want him to be the only kid who doesn't come from a mega-rich family.

On a related note, do kids at private schools feel a lot of pressure to wear designer clothes, go on expensive holidays, etc because their friends do?

DH and I are both state educated, as you can probably tell from my ignorance! We're doing ok, professional jobs with above average salaries, could definitely afford private with some sacrifices, but definitely not 'rich' or 'posh' in any way.

OP posts:
XelaM · 27/12/2023 16:54

I'm a solicitor. No pressure to wear anything other than uniform at school (but most have Nike Airforce 1s as school shoes). Otherwise the usual popular teen brands outside of achool.

Throwingpots · 27/12/2023 16:54

Mine have now left school, but all three went to private secondary schools not too long ago. (Luckily not all at the same time as we couldn’t have stretched to that.
Husband worked for the MOD and I’m an illustrator so really not hugely wealthy between us. We remortgaged the house.

chopc · 27/12/2023 16:54

In my experience, those who suffer imposter syndrome, create it themselves. I don't know if it is because we can afford it if we wanted to or if our kids just don't care about keeping up with the Jones' .......

jhy · 27/12/2023 16:55

My SIL children attend private school but as she works at the school as a TA she gets 50% off fees. Well worth it IMO. Unsure if reception/admin type staff would qualify for this

jhy · 27/12/2023 16:57

WarningOfGails · 27/12/2023 13:37

MissyB1 as I read your first sentence I began to wonder how you afforded it, then I read on. One child, makes sense! We have 3, DH is a GP and I earn about a TA wage. Can’t afford it.

My SIL is a TA at a private school and gets 50% off the fees. I think it's so worth it!

HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 27/12/2023 16:57

Lots of lawyers- judges, barristers, solicitors
Doctors
Dentists
Academics
Lots who own their own businesses doing whatever including computers, insurance, restaurants

Peoplemakemedespair · 27/12/2023 17:05

I work a part time minimum wage job, I’ve also got an ‘off the books’ side hustle which does pretty well (not really arsed about mn judgment btw 🤷🏼‍♀️). My oh has a kind of construction job, but works offshore which brings in around 110k, he regularly gets large pay rises and promotions, is getting another 10% pay rise next year. My 2 eldest dcs are in private secondary and have both said that they consider most of their friend groups rich, it’s not been an issue at all. No bullying at all, and their friends are very mindful of who can afford what when they’re arranging get togethers or birthday events for each other etc. I will say that I’ve noticed neither of them have ever invited their friends back to our small 3 bed ex council terrace though (we were extremely poor for a long time, oh spent 20 years working his way up). All their friends houses are meant to be fab.

SWLondonMum00 · 27/12/2023 17:19

Based on what I've seen at our pre-prep, there's a good selection of doctors, lawyers, engineers at pretty senior roles, management consultants, investment bankers.

Most are professional working couples, and I don't really know of anyone who is being helped by their grandparents (small sample so make of it what you will). There is a small bunch with flash cars and designer clothes and SAHMs etc, but the majority are funding it from salaries and not wealth and live pretty normal lifestyles. Not flash but not poor either and prioritising their kids' education over ski holidays and luxury cruises.

Usernamen · 27/12/2023 17:25

Grinchinlaws · 27/12/2023 13:51

I’m a lawyer in London with a high income (>£250k), DH works in the public sector on a fraction of that. Of my colleagues, the only ones whose kids are in private school are partners (earning £1m+), dual high earners, or the grandparents are paying.

We have 2 kids and another on the way and couldn’t afford it for 1 never mind all 3.

My niece is in a prep school in London and SIL’s parents are paying. SIL is a SAHM and BIL a primary teacher.

This is most unusual. You must have very high outgoings.

The couples I know with children in private school in London mostly have a household income lower than yours (assume yours is £300k+) with no contribution from grandparents. They do only have one or two children though, not three. But still, I am not sure how you think you couldn’t afford private fees for one child on your income!

Grinchinlaws · 27/12/2023 17:27

Usernamen · 27/12/2023 17:25

This is most unusual. You must have very high outgoings.

The couples I know with children in private school in London mostly have a household income lower than yours (assume yours is £300k+) with no contribution from grandparents. They do only have one or two children though, not three. But still, I am not sure how you think you couldn’t afford private fees for one child on your income!

Yes high outgoings due to mortgage and childcare (a nanny is very expensive!) which will be needed for some years. We have no family support, financial
or otherwise. Most people I know have either wealthy or local parents helping out, in some cases both!

LegoHeads · 27/12/2023 17:32

London indie. A whole range- I'd say a couple of lawyers (or maybe one lawyer and one doctor) would be pretty much average. Then there are a few people making good money doing creative things, some bankers, TV people, IT. Some super-rich (£20m+ house kind of rich) but that's not the norm. Also people on much lower incomes with bursary places or support from grandparents.

In terms of holidays etc again it really varies. My personal view is that this isn't a reason not to choose the school if it's otherwise the right place for your child- wherever you go in life there will be people who have more than you and people who have less and it's a good life lesson not to make comparisons or judge someone's worth by their financial situation. Certainly at DC's school the richer kids aren't necessarily any more popular than anyone else.

Clothes-wise, as far as I can tell most wear Nike trainers and North Face coats, same as most other kids.

Usernamen · 27/12/2023 17:34

Grinchinlaws · 27/12/2023 17:27

Yes high outgoings due to mortgage and childcare (a nanny is very expensive!) which will be needed for some years. We have no family support, financial
or otherwise. Most people I know have either wealthy or local parents helping out, in some cases both!

Again this is at odds with what I see around me! I work in the City in quite an international team where many of those with children don’t have family in the country let alone living nearby, so they all have/had high childcare costs when their children were young. However they can still afford private school now.

Your mortgage must be a killer!

EnidSpyton · 27/12/2023 17:36

I'm a teacher and have largely spent my career in high end London private schools. The fees here are much higher than in the rest of the country so it's a different crowd - when I was a child in prep school myself in the London suburbs 30 odd years ago, my dad was a self-employed small business owner and my mum worked part time, and they could just about scrape together the fees for me and my brother and still stay afloat and afford holidays, etc. With the cost of fees now, I can't imagine anyone in that same income category being able to manage without family help.

In the schools where I've taught, all the parents have been seriously high earners or come from moneyed backgrounds.

There's the small % of old landed money types - children of European royalty, aristocrats, politicians etc, for whom the school fees are paid for out of family trust funds. Alongside those, there's a small % of major celebrity children - think children of huge pop stars and big-name actors, for whom the fees are pocket change.

Then there's about 20% of children whose parents are self-made billionaires and millionaires - usually hedge fund managers and bankers. Again, the fees to them are pocket change.

The bulk are people with very good corporate/finance/legal sector jobs who are earning around £250-300k per year - and they pay the fees out of earnings. Sometimes it's double-earning families, but more often than not, it's a high earning dad and a stay at home mum or 'hobby job' mum (lots of interior designers who just do up their friends' houses). My school costs over £30k per year and many families have multiple kids in the school, so to be paying £60k-100k a year in fees for 2/3 children, this isn't the kind of choice you can make unless you're a seriously high earner.

There's also a small % of teacher's kids, as most top-end schools give at least 50% off the fees, which does make it manageable on a private school teacher's salary. For a lot of the teachers, that's why they work at the school.

The kids I teach don't care about designer labels. They all look like they've just rolled out of bed, TBH! They're not flashy like that at all. There are a lot of very fancy foreign holidays and so on but no one brags/talks about money or makes anyone feel lesser than if they're not in the same financial league. In my current school, we have teachers' kids who are paying hardly any fees being best mates with kids of famous pop stars. They're all equals in each others' eyes, which I think is lovely.

AngelinaFibres · 27/12/2023 17:40

gormin · 27/12/2023 12:18

Thank you all for your helpful and interesting responses! Interesting to see how common it seems to be for grandparents to pay the fees - this hadn't occurred to me before.

Friend of mine pays her grandson's school fees. It's so common amongst the children at the school that they hold an afternoon tea party for the grandparents to be schmoozed by the head. No parents or children there. Just grandparents and senior staff..

Flippinec · 27/12/2023 17:54

Accountant. So is DH. We pay the fees ourselves and have never inherited anything. I have no idea how many parents at school are supported by grandparents or are paying from inheritance or are on a bursary of some sort as nobody (rightly) talks about how they pay their fees!

tillyandmilly · 27/12/2023 17:58

All my sisters - 3 of us went to private school - parents owned a restaurant - dad was a chef and mother co-owned restaurant! Not posh at all! Never had designer gear - second hand car etc - modest semi -

Surelyitscoffeetime · 27/12/2023 18:04

At the private I used to work at it was mostly barristers and doctors. There was the odd tech professional, engineer or business person. Then quite a few with grandparents paying the fees.

In terms of the pressure for designer labels, most of this was amongst the families of ‘business people’. We had a few who had ‘businesses’ that were….ahem…. 😬.

Newbutoldfather · 27/12/2023 18:09

I have taught in both inner London, very exclusive area, where the parents varied a lot from international sportsmen, Russian oligarchs, lots of high end finance (private equity, managing directors of trading etc), self made businesspeople and partners in accountants, magic circle law firms and management consulting.

The pupils were generally lovely and 80% of the parents were too. (The difficult ones were normally a bit chippy and probably struggled for the fees, so were always trying to maximise value for money). There was very little financial showing off and bursary pupils were generally made very welcome and included.

I found it amusing that the skiing trips were invariably in the Spring term half term (most expensive week of the season) and when I asked them where they were off to on holiday, there were normally at least two locations. But I just think they normalised this and didn’t realise their privilege (with several honourable exceptions).

More recent school was outer London. Parents similar but generally a tier lower, generally two biggish jobs rather than one huge one. A LOT of finance (maybe 50%?), law and consulting, with maybe a bit of media.

Yes, you do get doctors as parents, but generally they are the second income, or it is an only child. You just can’t really afford two school fees on two doctor’s salaries without huge sacrifice.

eurochick · 27/12/2023 18:11

At my child's school I don't know anyone who has grandparents paying the fees but they might be hiding that. Parents are a mix of:

Engineers
Teachers
Doctors
Solicitors, barristers and other people working around the legal profession
Finance
Some people with their own businesses ranging from things involving construction to recruitment
Senior marketing
Senior HR

No designer clothes obvious yet - the second hand uniform shop does a roaring trade. Out of uniform some kids are extremely well-turned out and others in hand me down thousand wash grey tshirts. I guess that might change in secondary.

Holidays range from the exotic to camping but most people probably can afford a couple of breaks a year.

Cars are generally premium brands but some are new and others less so. And there are a few cheap small cars used by parents.

From what I hear the central London private schools are considerably flashier.

BrimfulOfMash · 27/12/2023 18:16

My friends who have had kids in private school are accountants, lawyers, marketing consultant, owner of electrician company, electronics engineer, CEO in publishing.

None are driving old bangers r foregoing hair appointments to pay for it, they all seem comfortable. On the other hand most of my friends with similar jobs / salaries have opted for state.

NameChangeToday80 · 27/12/2023 18:16

It depends in DD's old school, we had a lot parents in finance, accounting, medicine, and law.

In this school (less expensive as out of London) they seem to work in media, HR, accountancy.

I have no idea whether grandparents are paying.

DH and I are both in tech, our joint income is about £200k but we sometimes double it in bonuses.

anothernamechangeagainsndagain · 27/12/2023 18:20

My friends who have dc in private school include university lecturers, consultants, gps, business owners, a dentist.

anothernamechangeagainsndagain · 27/12/2023 18:22

Oh and I know several military families but they don't pay most of their fees

KnittedCardi · 27/12/2023 18:23

Lots and lots of IT consultants. Pilots. Doctors of all types. Engineers. Opticians. Own companies. Quite a few from the same companies.

SaltyGod · 27/12/2023 18:24

Not London but South, mixed well known prep school with broad range of parents, many international. It feeds into large well known boarding, local boarding and local day.

Some of the occupations I know are:
Vet
GPs
Consultants
professors
carpentry
nurse
tech
estate agency
farmers
pharma
teachers (both at our school and others)
civil servant
lawyer
own business
property investment
Comms and PR
accountant

Zero pressure to buy certain brands, drive certain cars. Very low key.

I only know of one set of grandparents who pay, but obv haven’t asked.