Senior Private school needed or agency help

[RoxyMilo]

I am desperately in need of a pastorally good senior school (year 9). We were at an amazing prep school and currently at a private school which has no sense of community, no sense of pride and my child is so lonely as they all knew each other from the junior school. The school have been told and don't care. Is it possible to find a private senior school which is pastorally amazing and where there is that family feeling or am I looking for something that doesn't exist. Definitely not Uppingham, Oakham, Stamford or Oundle. 2 hours from those schools would be amazing but for the perfect and right school maybe further. Shiplake don't do Latin so is a no ! Happy to consider an agency but not Gabbitas as they were so condescending !! Thank you !!**

We have a glowing reference from the Head. These are nos before we even get to reference stage : ( most saying they won't support the slow processing and extra maths support. When I had an initial conversation with Gabbitas and mentioned Lord Wandsworth she said " the clients we deal with don't want schools like that". I'm not here for snobbery I just want the right support pastorally moreso than academic. Maybe there is more pressure on private schools to get the results....

Try Bedales ? Or King's?

Also very surprised to hear that about King’s Ely, they have been very supportive to child I know there with additional needs.

OP you say glowing reference from Head, but then mention being refused on slow processing and extra maths support. Is this in the reference or are you telling the schools?

Something isn’t quite right here, you are getting such a negative reaction at such an early stage. Most schools I have found (even full) are keen to put you on wait lists because things change.

I don’t think just applying to more schools will help (and will probably be just utterly exhausting for you).

Do you have an Ed psych report on the additonal needs?

I just wonder if schools are are concerned the needs are more significant then you are saying for some reason (so there is no ed psych report) or alternatively is the report more damming on face value then the problem.

I think you do need to go through an agency, probably one with some experience of se. The Good Schools Guide has a consultancy service, I’ve not used but have 2 friends that do and highly recommend.

Have you considered Gresham's in Norfolk or Framlingham in Suffolk. Both have good reputations for pastoral. Also Royal Hospital School. Despite its military links, I think it's won awards for pastoral support. Not sure about Gresham's re places but pretty sure RHS and Fran aren't full based on open days we've been on.

Have you approached the Leys School in Cambridge, OP?

Glowing ref. from the head is great and should open some doors. Maybe keep to it, rhapsodise on its themes and add no extra details at this stage.

I cannot believe all these school have no availabilties for various learning needs; of course they do (it's practically a side business) and they deal with what they have to deal with. Any school worth anything will have extra support available and maths is probably the most in demand.
Just a though, then, don't put the maths issue forward at first. In fact I would avoid mentioning it at all because a) see above and b) a lot of schools do not want to become 'the place' for children with learning difficulties and will screen accordingly. I expect that 'admitting' to one is a red flag to them as they'll automatically assume it's just the tip of the iceberg and there's in fact a whole host of other problems.
Always remember, they will be fortunate to have your child, not the other way around.

Gabbitas sounds awful, for us they were fine but we realised we didn't need them and saved ourselves a small fortune.

I second Framlingham, there's latin and it's a nice school, under the radar, steady.

Maybe when we applied they already had pupils which needed the support so didnt have spare resource.

Hi @BountySunshine yes when I ask if there is a space I say we have an EP and would they like to see it. I would hate for us to love it and then they turn us down due to it. Rugby really kept us on hold until mid July deciding a no, which was devastating. Thank you for saying that, its such a shame as really and truly the last report was so positive with teachers saying how disappointed they were that no one had offered us a place. Maybe we should be happy we have a place at least !

@BountySunshine the prep school was confused when a couple of schools have said they wouldnt consider due to the needs being too complex which shocked me as no additional support at prep level. All common entrance results were A*/A/Bs aside from Maths and Physics (affected by the slow processing). our confidence is destroyed really.

Have you looked at Worksop College

@Exasperatednow i have looked at Kimbolton twice and know children there. we are hoping for something a little bit more traditional. also the children we know there are very aggressive/over confident/not great manners/scruffy there and mine is a gentle soul.

@TheSquareMile it was on my list but came off, i cant remember why back in July.

Do you absolutely NEED private boarding? With SEN involved, are there any good state secondaries accessible to you? As this is not a normal point of entry, catchments etc won’t apply if the school has an occasional place?

Latin can be found in the state sector but would be rarer. The community feel and pastoral care can be much easier to create in a much more mixed, and geographically less disparate, school community.

Meet with your Prep's Head and explain the situation, discuss schools and ask for some active support, they should have contacts.

Wymondham College, state boarding In Norfolk

@cantkeepawayforever I did suggest a local school but to go from a small prep school of just over 100 in total to a state school with over 150 in a year would be a culture shock along with the whole state school children being very different. as we have a lack of confidence and a soft nature I feel we would probably experience bullying.

We used talkeducation.com last year when we were in a not dissimilar situation. They were excellent. Much more up to speed with independent schools than the good schools guide

@Rodelansier we didnt have any support from the Head before we left so I wouldnt expect any now ! we only got a place mid September as nothing else was available when we finally heard from Rugby. We didnt get any contact whatsoever from the Head to offer help/support/anything ! Sadly a new head too focused on his own self importance to care !

Someone has already mentioned the Royal Hospital School near Ipswich, I think - and I'd recommend it. Great sense of community and belonging, strong ethos, good pastoral care - and Latin is available up to A level.
It's on a beautiful, huge site with great facilities, and has a good mix of day and boarding pupils.

I would go back to all the options you had heard at some point were ‘full’. Most independent schools are full round here all the time, especially those with waiting lists as as soon as a place appears they contact someone who is in their list and it gets filled. You can get on some admission officers radar if anything crops up. Dc1 is in yr8 at a prep and a couple of friends who weren’t happy with where they ended up with for yr9 (Sept ‘24) have been contacted recently by schools that were ‘full’ offering a space after someone pulled out/leaves.

I can't believe anyone seriously thinks like this? 'state school children being very different........' your meaning is very poorly veiled by what you go on to say after that. Honestly, you give private school parents a bad name!

Why are state school children 'different'? Good luck in life with that attitude!
My children went from a small prep to the local state school. I think they are quite normal and, shock horror, even managed to get mostly 7+ at gcse!!

If you have a boy, have you considered Bedford?
Very good pastoral side and very strong in drama and music although it has traditionally been seen as a sport school. Really good flexi, weekly and full boarding.

@LadeOde it's nothing about believing, it is experience. Never mind when we see them coming out of school at home time.