Parents of summer borns who deferred school entry! Any regrets?

[JL0]

My DC was born on 30 August 2020 and is due to start school in September 2024. My other half and I are on the fence about whether we should defer them to September 2025, but are leaning slightly towards deferral.

The impact of being summer born is well-documented through research (eg lower academic attainment, lower self-esteem). Based on these factors alone, the argument for deferral seems strong.

I'm less clear on the "cons" of deferral. I haven't found any research on this point. Anecdotally, I've heard stories about deferred children struggling emotionally and/or being socially isolated because they're older than their peer group.

Parents of deferred children - do you have any regrets? Have your children struggled emotionally or socially because they are older? Are there any other disadvantages to deferral?

For context, my DC is a pretty "normal" 3 year old. Meets their milestones. Is often shy in new settings. No SEN concerns. Attends preschool 4 days a week.

Zero regrets. Best thing for my child. But my child has additional needs also.

I know other parents who deferred, who feel the same. The people who are vocal about not deferring usually don't understand the current rules, or I suspect feel the need to justify why they didn't defer.

Every thread on it gets myths like "they miss reception!" "They'll miss a year later on!" Etc. Those are proven untrue.

The sports thing can be an issue, so they may not be able to play school sport with their class. But if they're good, they can join the right age outside of school no bother, and compete with their age. It's no biggy for all the benefits of a later start.

Honestly, the best decision.

Deferred. Year 5 now. DS.

Ignore all the nonsense about "they have to start in year 1". 😉

Deferred because I was working on some research at that time that was on this exact topic and extremely convincing. Also the school was terrible at giving extra support to kids - so if he'd struggled and needed extra help or teaching, as youngest in year, he would absolutely not have got it.

Con: sports teams. He has to play football out of cohort. We have found him a team in the next town along, and that's all working fine, but he can't play with his in-year friends. He's also, luckily, not massively sporty.

Pros: everything else. He's dealt brilliantly with the occasional "well you're only good at that because you're the oldest". He's a lovely, well-adjusted, happy little boy, doing reasonably well in school, lots of friends, only a few months older than the next along in his class.

Good luck. A difficult decision.

@preenin I bet they'll change that as the years with the deferred years approach Year 11.

@Ginflinger the year 1 start is local authority area dependent. Just because you're area doesn't do it this way doesn't mean that's true across the country.

@GoingOffOnATangent
You're wrong. There are national guidelines.

They won't. The DfE isn't in favour of deferrment, so won't be making it easier. From here: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/summer-born-children-advice-for-admission-authorities/guidance-on-handling-admission-requests-for-summer-born-children

That quote shows the government isn't in favour of children missing years. It's not about deferment?

Children in Scotland defer routinely. Same in Ireland. No one is forcing someone to defer a bright, advanced child who is "bored" at pre-school. But they are forcing young children with additional needs into a lifetime of more struggle than they need to by only making deferment possible if you're educated, capable of arguing your case, and able to withstand the myths. It should be a choice, at an individual child level.

My neice has premature twins, one born on 31st August, the other on 1st September last year (due date was October). The first born is the one with more problems. I'm a bit worried after reading this thread, I think deferring would be by far the best thing for them

There's only 20 mins between them being born, we thought it was brilliant that they had different birthdays!

I might be out of date, but when Ds started in 2015 which was after the guidelines came in (I think), it would only have been an option if I had gone through a lengthy strenuous appeals process which local precedents showed were rarely successful. That was Salford.
I find the pp who said, people say this (about year 1 deterred entry) to justify and excuse not bothering to consider their children (sic), to be holding a judgemental and inaccurate opinion.

If it's changed since 2015 then my assertions are out dated, but though I can't be bothered to research it now - I'm sure those with current skin in the game can do that, I do wonder whether local interpretation of those guidelines, or at least how easy to make it for people to take up the option, may differ.

As someone literally quoted above, trying to argue against deferral, the government does not support children being made to miss reception.

Yes, in some areas, when those guidelines were new, it may have needed a fight. But these days, those fights have been had, and government guidelines are clear - no summer born child should be made to miss reception. So that's now a myth. We're discussing 2024 entry here, not 2015 entry. Now, in 2023, it's not true that children can be made to miss reception.

A useful update. 👍
Fwiw personally I haven't 'argued against deferral'. I just gave my experience as grist to the mill, part of my experience is now not relevant (happily), I trust op to put all the input she is getting into the pot and pick it what is useful and discard the rest.

@DeborahNotDebra I don't think anyone could argue about deferring the elder twin in that case... they would be better together.

I sometimes wonder if my DD would have had an easier time in Primary school if she had been deferred. It wasn't really considered back then (she's now in Yr8). But she flying at Secondary school. However none of us have crystal balls, we will never know if the other choice would have been better or worse.

Extracurricular stuff never really crossed my mind. They don't tend to be with school friends anyway, and often cross year groups (team sports being the exception.). DD did get a bit frustrated that she was the last of her friends to move up to Scouts, and that she had to wait longer to be a Rainbow when younger. She moved up to Cubs early to keep her with friends.

Your child is a mere two days short of the cut off so for that reason I’d do it in a heartbeat.

I deferred my May born son due to SEN and don’t regret it. But clearly I had my reasons. I think a neurotypical May born child would be a different matter.

But August 30th? With that birthday no one is even going to know they’re out of cohort.

Defer and delay are two separate options, OP. Not all local authorities or schools are open to them!

Delay being your child would join reception in Sept 2025.
Defer being your child would join their normal academic year group in Sept 2025, so straight in to Y1.

I'm a EYFS/Y1 teacher.

I would never recommend deferring because so much foundation is laid in EYFS/Reception but I would absolutely consider delaying entry if I felt it was the right thing for my child.

Something else you could consider (and I usually have a couple of children take this option up every year) would be starting part time in Sept 2024 and building up to full time - your child won't legally be required to attend full-time until the term after they turn 5 so Sept 2025.

Parenting and making the right choices with the best interests of our babies in mind is so hard sometimes!

I don't agree that those of us who "are vocal about not deferring", at least on this thread, are just trying to justify ourselves. As I see it, I did the normal standard thing. It's a little annoying to see comments suggesting that all late August children should be deferred. I don't think anyone's arguing that premature twins, children with delays and so on should never be deferred. Those are exactly the situations that deferral is made for. But I am very happy with having sent my bright, confident, developmentally normal daughter to school at the normal time and not asked for special dispensation purely to stop her being the youngest. Someone has to be the youngest, and the cut-off has to be somewhere. I don't think any parent with a developmentally normal child should be tying themselves in knots worrying if they should defer for the sake of it.

In this situation, I would definitely defer the first born, so that they are in the same class / year together.

Everyone wants to do the right thing for their child.
I can see that if you are able to keep them home/at nursery for another year, then it would be tempting to defer. I have a September born and it's definitely an advantage.
However, if August all defer, then July are now the youngest. And so on. And some are then more than a year younger than others and there's definitely a difference there.
I guess when data comes back over the school lifetime, it will be easier for people to make the right decision.
DC1 had almost a whole year of being 16 when he did his GCSEs, totally different to my DC2, who won't turn 16 until he has his results.

My DC are all summer born. Two started school on time, our other DC was deferred. I think it was the best decision for him and I don't regret referring him.

It would be quite unfair to have them in different year groups when there is only 20 mins between them in age! I would absolutely defer the older one so they can be kept together. I doubt anyone would argue with that. Especially as they were due in October anyway.

I haven't seen anyone "suggesting that all late August children should be deferred." I do see a lot of "my child would have been bored" etc justification for not deferring. Which may be quite correct, but is irrelevant to the OP, who asked if anyone who DID defer regrets it. It would be relevant if you deferred, and your child was bored. But as you say, you did the standard thing, and applied with cohort. So the OP wasn't aimed at you- she asked whether any of us that applied out of cohort had regrets. Not whether a friend of a friend had trouble (these threads always bring out "my cousin's friend's child had to miss year 4, and failed all their GCSEs just because they deferred!" type stories, yet never any first hand stories.)

You have no experience of deferring, and you're happy with your decision not to defer... It's interesting that you feel the need to come on to a thread asking for responses from those to did defer, to tell those of us that did defer that you are definitely happy with your decision. Really happy. Wouldn't change it. And disagree entirely that you feel any need to justify that decision. Oh no. Really interesting!

My youngest starts school in September 2024 and is an August baby. She is noticeably smaller than her peers at preschool but is very bright, chatty and is doing so well. I did briefly consider sending her to school later but I don’t think it would be right for her. She’ll be bored stiff with another year of pre-school. It’s very personal but I think sending them with their year group is probably for the best.

That's great, isn't it? You got to consider it, and decide she's better with cohort. It's like many parenting choices- it can be tricky to weigh up, and every child is different.

Yes, I did start my post on this thread by saying "It's not what you asked, but..." because I thought it was relevant. I have experience of being in the OP's position. I think that is common on MN, that people don't necessarily "answer the brief" but offer another perspective that they believe the OP would welcome. The OP herself has come back to say that she values all the input she's had here. It was all civil conversation. You seem to be very het-up and sarky about my contributions to this thread. Maybe you should find that more interesting than my posts.