Parents of summer borns who deferred school entry! Any regrets?

[JL0]

My DC was born on 30 August 2020 and is due to start school in September 2024. My other half and I are on the fence about whether we should defer them to September 2025, but are leaning slightly towards deferral.

The impact of being summer born is well-documented through research (eg lower academic attainment, lower self-esteem). Based on these factors alone, the argument for deferral seems strong.

I'm less clear on the "cons" of deferral. I haven't found any research on this point. Anecdotally, I've heard stories about deferred children struggling emotionally and/or being socially isolated because they're older than their peer group.

Parents of deferred children - do you have any regrets? Have your children struggled emotionally or socially because they are older? Are there any other disadvantages to deferral?

For context, my DC is a pretty "normal" 3 year old. Meets their milestones. Is often shy in new settings. No SEN concerns. Attends preschool 4 days a week.

This is a great sum up from @DibbleDooDah "I wouldn’t defer just because you can. I would for a specific reason though."

And I would be sure to have the reason confirmed/ assessed by people with better knowledge of what's expected that I have, for example, when we were discussing it, we were fortunate enough to have two good friends who are primary teachers who kindly spent time with DC just observing and then commented. They could also allay some of my 'what ifs' and explain more about how Reception works. For example, DC1 was very late to toilet train (the Feb before starting school) and I was worried he'd still have accidents and he or I would get in trouble. Fortunately it's not like that!

Have you joined the facebook group Flexible School Admissions for Summer Borns? You are receiving incorrect information here about school funding in secondary, sports teams and skipping a year. This Facebook group is a wealth of more accurate information.

I have an early September child. She's in KS2 currently. The cons I see are 1) she struggled at last year of nursery when all of her friends except one left for primary. The friend left was another Autumn child. 2) she felt a bit different in all the age group activities. For example, she was the only Rainbows in reception for the first term. She's the only one who can't write her name on the craft. She's also the first to go into Brownies. (They put her with the summer born children because of her early birthday). For some strange reasons, I noticed from school birthday boards that most children are born in the Spring and Summer term. It's going to come up again when transferring to Guides. Hopefully they won't kick her out of her Brownies unit so early. She'll be old enough at the start of Year 5, but I have DC1 in Guides and they are very teen and DC2 won't be mature enough.

Yep, lots of the comments on this thread are just incorrect.
I deferred my son, I have no regrets whatsoever. Pm me if you want more info. He's now in ks2 and it has caused zero problems educationally or socially.

Oh and I had zero concerns about whoever my child was ready for school- he absolutely could have gone, if he had had to, having an extra year of play based learning was absolutely a priority for me.

Same here. It’s been great. His best friends are a few weeks younger.

Same here.

He's already in nursery 4 days a week , the step to reception will be smaller for him than some older children who've not been in a nursery setting.
I'm a late summer born, I was top of the class academically and had no issues socially. As for PP yes I could drive later than some friends but that just meant I was chauffeured a lot by them! Now DH used to pick me up for sixth form.

I did take a gap year before uni, but that was to earn money to support myself. I felt older than a lot of my peers there when in fact there was little difference between me and those born September/October. Other than I hadn't been to public school and I'd had a job from as soon as I had an NI number.
Unless there are concerns about your DCs development I wouldn't defer

My son does play football with the year group above but this has actually been great for his overall confidence as he has made good friends in the year above him, in addition to the ones in his year. I think this will help him at secondary school. He knows he was deferred and is glad he was. Whether someone ‘should’ choose to or not depends on the child in my view - my summer born daughter was desperate to go to school aged 3 and has a completely different personality.

@yellowgirl County and National sports teams ARE extremely strict on age. You have to show your child’s birth certificate or passport. I mean, here’s the rules from the FA, for example.

https://www.thefa.com/~/media/Files/TheFAPortal/governance-docs/rules-of-the-association/standard-code-of-rules-for-youth-competitions.ashx

A child can, of course, play friendly school matches in their deferred school year or at local grass roots, but county, district and national competitions they can’t.

I deferred mine, now yr1 rather than 2. Didn't miss reception. I think it was the right choice.

The FA, and rugby, and presumably other sports have a dispensation policy that covers children who are deferred.

www.thefa.com/-/media/thefacom-new/files/rules-and-regulations/2021-22/the-fa-dispensation-policy-guide-to-parents-2021-2022.ashx

My DS is a mid July baby and I didn't defer. He's been fine, no problems at all, lots of friends and easily kept up with school work.

He would have been extremely bored if he'd had to stay at nursery another year.

@DryIce Yes - but this covers where a child would be at a serious disadvantage by playing in their designated birth year age group. For example, they have SEN or were premature or physically small for their age. You also have to provide proof of this. It is entirely right that adjustments like this can be made.

It does not, however, apply to children whose parents decide to defer them just because they can.

OK well I have used it and that has not been my experience

I have a mid-Sept birthday and somehow ended up in the year above - some in my class with early September birthdays were more than a year older than me. In the long term, being the youngest has had no impact. There were some issues - like not being old enough for a 13+ vaccine when my class had it (and subsequently being forgotten meaning I never had it!) and starting 6th form age 15 - but they wouldn't affect a deferred child.

One thing you'll have with anecdotal evidence is that deferring is a recent thing to be offered more widely.
I don't think the first year where it was offered more widely as a right to defer would even be at secondary yet, so may well not have met issues. You've also got that people have to make a definite decision to defer, so to say it was wrong, is admitting they did something that negatively effected their dc.
So I think you will get very few people who will admit they deferred and it was an issue.

I would have deferred summer term ds if I'd have the choice. He was not ready for school. I reckoned he was just about ready about the summer term in year 1, so he would still have not been ready in year 1.
He's now in the 6th form, and, although the first couple of years were rocky, I can see it would have been the wrong decision to defer. He would have been bored academically, and I think would have still found the first couple of years rocky.
I won't say he loves school, but he would always prefer to be at home-even holidays he'd rather be at home. But he's in the right year, that I'm certain.

I share your childs birthday and was always the youngest. I suffered academically (but later excelled) and socially. I always felt I struggled to keep up with my peers and why wouldn't I...some were a year older!

I didn't defer DD2 (aug birthday). She's in the higher groups for maths and reading and would have been bored with another year in preschool. I think it really depends on the child. DD1 might have done better deferring a year but her birthday is before the cut off so it wasn't an option.

Is your DC in the school preschool? A friend's DC was a deferred entry and attended the school's affiliated nursery so did 2 years in the preschool class (they only move up in September there so the class starts and moves up as one generally) and she found it very difficult when all her friends moved up without her and she has to start all over again. If DC is at a private nursery it probably won't be so stark though

Point 2 here is very interesting.
I don't think anyone imagines that their 4 year old could become a school refuser but it's very common. Several kids in DC1 school year left without taking any GCSEs, this could become even more common if these kids turned 16 in Y10.

I have an August born and I would have seriously considered it if it had been an option at the time. It's turned out fine, he's smart, but physically he is still smaller than his friends - hopefully that will even out this year.

Not so.. It's a simple matter getting dispensation from the local County FA, all they'd need is proof that a child is being taught out of normal age group, as long as there is no more than one academic year different.

I would argue that if a child was hell bent on not taking GCSE's, the mere detail of whether the child is still of compulsory school age would make no difference. The only difference is that the parents could be fined if the child was still of CSA.

Moreover, a child who started school at barely 4 and was not remotely emotionally/socially ready, who struggled at school throughout and hated it, would be a lot more likely to disengage with GCSEs and not sit them, than one who started at 5 and a few weeks, did well, enjoyed school etc. would.

What I would say is that the first children to benefit from the change in the Schools Admissions Code in 2014, allowing summerborns to have a delayed start into Reception, are yet to reach Year 11, so any speculation as to what may happen then is, just that. There is no evidence to support that.

It really does depend on the child.

My DD is academically bright, but is very young for her age and was not ready at 4 and a few weeks. We delayed her.. she is in Y1 and doing well, though still young for her age even in her adopted cohort, and is still one of the smallest!

I hate to think how much worse her issues could have been had she started school a year early.

Most summerborn 4 year olds will thrive on entering school (as some in this thread have demonstrated)

So I'm in Scotland where school year runs differently but basically Jan/Feb is the equivalent of late July/August and they start school between 4.5 and 5.5 years (they don't have a reception year it's just preschool).

We deferred DS1 this year I was a little worried about it but actually it's the best decision for him and not from a academic perspective only. He's more confident in just 3 months, has better emotional regulation and less likely to follow (he was very much a sheep with the older boys at preschool).

It's pretty common in Scotland to defer I think it's about 50% of Jan/Feb children and its been extended to any child who isn't 5 before Aug term start.

What we also considered wasn't just is he ready at 4 but would he be ready at 14 to take major exams, what are the social implications etc.

I haven't spoken to a single parent who regrets deferral I have spoken to quite a few who have regretted not doing so however

That's fair enough and it does seem that most people who deferred their children are happy with their decision.
I would be interested to know now if it is the younger kids who are the most likely to drop out as you describe above. I wonder if there are statistics on that?
My DC was barely ready to start reception as he turned 4 but he was totally fine a couple of years later and generally enjoying school.