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Original poster

naming the bully

32 replies

themoon66 · 11/03/2008 11:44

My colleague is writing a letter to her son's head teacher, complaining about they way they have (have not) handled a bullying case. She is copying this letter to the board of governers and the education welfare people.

Would she be within her rights to actually name the bully in this letter? Or is this a big no-no??

OP posts:
rantinghousewife · 11/03/2008 11:46

Wouldn't she have to identify him so that they know the details or is she providing copies of previous correspondence anyway.
I can't see why she can't name him, when she made the original complaint she would have had to name him.

Original poster
themoon66 · 11/03/2008 11:50

Yes, the headteacher knows because this has been going on for a good few months. She is worried about naming him in a letter that is being copied to others though.

It's all very horrible for her and I'm trying to be supportive. We are not getting much work done in this office today, what with my MNing and her getting all heated up about her poor DS.

OP posts:
rantinghousewife · 11/03/2008 11:53

Hmm, if she's unsure then maybe she ought to leave it out but, they will have to be aware of it at some point, so that they can deal with it effectively. Am assuming that she has used the wording of the schools anti bullying policy to help back up her complaint. This is always a good tactic.

Original poster
themoon66 · 11/03/2008 11:59

Yes... I have just helped her proof read it and she has quoted from the anti-bullying policy all the way through. I wish I could post it on here to get opinions, but I don't think she would like me to do that. She just wanted me to ask the question about naming the bully... which she has done.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 11/03/2008 12:03

Personally I wouldn't name the bully but I would make it clear that the headteacher knows who the bully is as it is on file due to ongoing issues.

The only reason a governor needs to know the name of a child is if they are sitting on an exclusion or appeals panel. Up till that point it is, I think, inappropriate to name names.

Twiglett · 11/03/2008 12:03

PS I'm a governor if it helps

EffiePerine · 11/03/2008 12:04

Could she put the name in the letter to the HM and then do a 'CC' letter with the name as X?

Original poster
themoon66 · 11/03/2008 12:04

OK... I understand that Twiglett... just read your post out to her and she is going to send it to the head, and then remove the name on the copies that go out to other parties.

Thank you for your help MNers

OP posts:
GooseyLoosey · 11/03/2008 12:04

Could you put a PS at the bottom of the letter "for the benefit of those receiving a copy of this letter, I have not named the child responsible for the bullying at the head teacher's request, but she is aware of who it is and further details can be supplied if required". That clearly demonstrates that you know who is responsible and complies with what the head requires.

newgirl · 11/03/2008 12:07

Surely it is common sense to name the bully? This sounds quite progressed - not putting a name in sounds a bit vague. Surely the point is to protect the op's friends child and future children as soon as possible as clearly as possible.

Twiglett · 11/03/2008 12:07

it's not a 'cc' if you change it though

it is supposed to be, by form, the exact same letter

possibly block out the name with a thick marker .. although it's very MI5 isn't it?

Twiglett · 11/03/2008 12:08

the point is to protect ALL children newgirl

even the bully

Original poster
themoon66 · 11/03/2008 12:11

We are thinking about calling him 'Child X' now. She likes Gooseys extra paragraph.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 11/03/2008 12:14

and the daffodils are flying high in moscow

newgirl · 11/03/2008 12:33

twig - just so i know for when my two are older - why is naming the kids involved in writing different from discussing them face to face? surely these things should be on record? what if a child is a bully many times and there is no record?

Twiglett · 11/03/2008 12:41

because you are discussing an issue with the head but you are informing the governors and whoever else you choose to copy in about the entire situation in writing

Twiglett · 11/03/2008 12:43

there will always be a written record of instances in school / discussed with relevant staff members .. but these are school files and private and confidential

newgirl · 11/03/2008 12:45

i see, thanks

i guess if i were in this situation, it would depend on how strongly i felt about events. If i knew for certain who the 'bully' is then i think i would put it in writing - it may help to speed up the process rather than governers contacting at a later date etc. personal choice of the parent i think. If it was more vague, and needed investigating, perhaps i would leave name/s off.

Twiglett · 11/03/2008 12:48

one only approaches governors if one feels that the senior management team of the school (head and deputies) are failing to deal appropriately and within the policies of the school in your view

it doesn't speed anything up getting governors involved when there is no remit for them to be

although it sounds as though OP's friend has been following exactly the right protocols and is at the end of her patience .. which is fair enough .. this is why there are board of governors

FluffyMummy123 · 11/03/2008 12:51

Message withdrawn

Unfitmother · 11/03/2008 12:53

Perhaps refer to them by their initials?

CowsGoMoo · 11/03/2008 19:24

I went through all the correct channels to help my son while he was being bullied at his old school, teacher, head, governors then LEA.

Our first letter to the governors excluded the bullies name. My DH was so angry that this child was allowed to have his identity protected. Our second letter, when the first clearly did not help at all, included the childs name and made them all aware that not only was it a member of staffs child but that they were also a governor too.

This too didn't help but made us feel better.

the governors told us that they believed the head was doing all he could to help. (yeah right - the bully stabbed my son in the arm the day after we got that letter)

We moved our son out and the bully is now picking on my friends son, her letters to head and governors have received the same useless response.

I wish your friend well with her complaint and imo name the little beep who is doing this. Why should she pansy around?

Cam · 11/03/2008 19:28

it probably is ok to name the bully in this instance as all the letters are going either to the school itself (head and governors) and the education bods.

It would be dodgier if they were being copied to a third party (libel issues)

newgirl · 11/03/2008 19:29

that is awful cows - how dreadful that your child had to leave a school and a bully gets to stay aghhh what is going on?!

CowsGoMoo · 11/03/2008 20:00

Hi Newgirl, this is a link to the advice I got from mn when my son was threatened. They were, and still are a fab bunch of people who helped me so much with advice, links to sites etc.

sadly the bully is still there, although shock horror his mum(member of staff and governor) was suspended last week for hitting a pupil

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=43&threadid=419871&pg=1&go=go