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Original poster

Step daughter's surname on exam results is different from legal name

110 replies

howfartospar · 25/08/2023 12:48

My DH has a daughter and son from a previous relationship. His daughter had her exam results over the Summer and proudly sent a photo of the results. At the top of the exam results was her name with the family surname of his ex partner.

My DH is quite chilled and understands their desire for her to have the same name as their family, but he also feels he would like to identify with his daughter. The main concern is that will having a different surname to what’s on her passport impact when she applies for university / jobs etc?

Clearly a conversation with the ex partner will be an appropriate way forward at some point, but has anyone been in a similar situation and did it cause any issues or do you have any adivce?

OP posts:
Original poster
howfartospar · 25/08/2023 16:12

JusthereforXmas · 25/08/2023 14:08

Frankly what your DH wants doesn't matter one shiny shit... its not his name, not his identity, not his life.

Stop looking at this young woman as property you can stamp your name on, she doesn't belong to him and has made her wants clear by changing her name.

And from personal experience pushing this is what made me legally deedpoll my name. My fathers entitlement and control made me want to have no part of his name tied to me. He pushed me right out of his life with these types of views.

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Lots of false, judgemental assumptions made in this response, i'm afraid.

OP posts:
luckbealadytonight · 25/08/2023 16:28

Exams Officer here, hello!

If the name in your daughter's passport is not the same as her name in her passport then the school of entered her details incorrectly.

Probably an admin error, where they have mixed up her 'preferred name' with her 'legal name' on their MIS.

They really should have checked.

Obviously she can change her name by deed poll or she can change the name on her certificates for a fee by contacting exam board.

If it was the school's error, they might be able to deal with it.

The matter of what she wants her name to be - that's up to her I guess!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/08/2023 16:29

GCSE entries are the first place where young adults are able to make a decision about their name. It will have been checked at entry and she will have confirmed it is the name she wishes to be known by - she'd had to have told them that she wanted it changed in the first place.

It won't cause issues and the chances are that she will change her name on her next passport renewal, when she gets her provisional and so on.

It's her choice and he has no legal influence upon the matter now she's 16.

JusthereforXmas · 25/08/2023 16:37

fettuccini · 25/08/2023 15:22

@FFSWhatToDoNow oh here we go. I knew some moron would jump on this. It isn't sexist for a woman to decide for herself is SHE wants to change her own name to their husbands. I chose to change my name because, funny enough, I have autonomy and I chose it for myself. Just like most women who change this name nowadays. We have a choice. Everyone's choice is valid. This thread isn't about that though. If you want to start one about that type of thing go ahead elsewhere, there is a feminist board.

Except your wording phrased it as an expected given not a choice.

This follow up posts then smacks that you did that on purpose waiting for someone to bite so you could derail the thread... thats a really tiresome personality trait.

JusthereforXmas · 25/08/2023 16:40

howfartospar · 25/08/2023 16:12

Lots of false, judgemental assumptions made in this response, i'm afraid.

Show quote history

My experience is not an assumption, its fact.

The whole 'cant identify' with her over a name exactly says the rest regardless of if you want to admit the truth or not.

Trying to change the narrative that you are worried for her when its entirely been about his feelings about being able to 'identify' her as his daughter doesn't wash.

User63847439572 · 25/08/2023 16:42

I mean this kindly and can understand you’re asking out of interest but not sure what it has to do with you and would imagine that either of you raising it might not go down well. Just focus on her results, I’m sure it’s fine about the name.

fettuccini · 25/08/2023 16:44

@JusthereforXmas 💤💤💤

fettuccini · 25/08/2023 16:50

FFSWhatToDoNow · 25/08/2023 15:47

I’d have thought a 16 year old changing their name formally would be more likely to keep it, that’s all.

and your casual comments about her “probably changing her name” if she marries is another thing keeping women in their place. If you’re going to be casually sexist, expect it to get called out.

If you'd like to aim your comments at me you can tag me... No one said anything about forcing her to change her name on marriage. She can if she wants to, she likely will. It's more common than not and nothing ti be ashamed of. People like you attempting to shame others are the problem. It's reeks of faux outrage and is covert misogyny. I'm more than happy with my choice to change my name from the two abusive father figures I had to my husbands. I feel no shame in that and no other woman should either.

Ilovedthe70s · 25/08/2023 17:12

fettuccini · 25/08/2023 15:22

@FFSWhatToDoNow oh here we go. I knew some moron would jump on this. It isn't sexist for a woman to decide for herself is SHE wants to change her own name to their husbands. I chose to change my name because, funny enough, I have autonomy and I chose it for myself. Just like most women who change this name nowadays. We have a choice. Everyone's choice is valid. This thread isn't about that though. If you want to start one about that type of thing go ahead elsewhere, there is a feminist board.

Absolutely agree,
I changed my name when I got married because I wanted a surname with less than 15 consonants and 2 vowels.
Exactly the same reason my brother took his wife’s name.

Daffodil18 · 25/08/2023 17:21

Some years ago now but my surname at school was my stepdad’s surname. I did then get it legally changed after my GCSE’s as like you said she cannot say they are her certificates as the names are different.

FionaJT · 25/08/2023 18:16

It definitely can cause problems if you need to prove you achieved the qualifications and don't have a paper trail (deed poll/marriage certificate) to match them to your legal name. I worked for some time in a FE college doing apprenticeship admin and this came up frequently with students submitting GCSEs as exemptions from the Maths & English components.

Luckypoppy · 25/08/2023 18:30

Could this be a school generated copy of the results with a 'known as' name. Then when the real exam certificates arrive, they will have legal name on them?

ThanksItHasPockets · 25/08/2023 18:35

Family dynamics aside, this could cause problems for your SD in the future if her qualifications are in a name which has never legally been hers. The school will have sent home a statement of entry and asked for the name to be double-checked so someone somewhere has confirmed that this was the name to use.

This has probably already been mentioned but 16-year-olds can, with a few exceptions, change their name by deed poll without needing parental consent. Is DH absolutely sure the legal change has not happened without his knowledge?

Simonjt · 25/08/2023 18:39

I have a known by name on both my GCSE and A-Level certificates, it has never caused any issues, legal names are really a thing in England, you can go by any name unless you’re doing it to deceive others.

twelly · 25/08/2023 18:39

The school and the parent who allowed her to use this name are at fault - the certificate should be in her legal name (incidentally the same goes for the student who decide to change their first name for a variety of reasons - the legal name is the one that should be on the document.)
Document need to tie up and this will cause problems for her in the future

InSpainTheRain · 25/08/2023 18:41

Your partner wanting his DD to have the same surname is kind of irrelevant here. To look after her she should ensure her passport, legal docs and exam results have the same surname. It could cause real problems for access to uni, college a job etc.

Sssudio · 25/08/2023 18:41

@FFSWhatToDoNow I took my DH surname as nearly all his family were dead (they all are now) so he was the only one left, yet I have a massive family. Our DCs have grown up only knowing my side of the family so the least they can have re DHs family is their name.

He offered to take my surname too as he's a decent man but I was happy to take his.

ThanksItHasPockets · 25/08/2023 18:49

Simonjt · 25/08/2023 18:39

I have a known by name on both my GCSE and A-Level certificates, it has never caused any issues, legal names are really a thing in England, you can go by any name unless you’re doing it to deceive others.

I am guessing you don't do a job which requires an enhanced DBS or pre-employment security vetting as this would have been an issue if you did.

Simonjt · 25/08/2023 18:55

ThanksItHasPockets · 25/08/2023 18:49

I am guessing you don't do a job which requires an enhanced DBS or pre-employment security vetting as this would have been an issue if you did.

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I did (currently unemployed!), I’m a qualified coach (including coaching children) and have an enhanced DBS for rugby tots and for work in schools.

ThanksItHasPockets · 25/08/2023 18:58

Simonjt · 25/08/2023 18:55

I did (currently unemployed!), I’m a qualified coach (including coaching children) and have an enhanced DBS for rugby tots and for work in schools.

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Very surprised that it didn't cause a problem for you. I've supported a few colleagues in teaching who have had major problems due to discrepancies in their qualification certificates. Glad you avoided this.

PurpleBugz · 25/08/2023 19:17

He doesn't need to have the same name as her to identify with her ffs.

Dsd saw the name on the paper and wasn't upset so he needs to drop it. She's probably happy with it and been part of the name change process.

But shit really that instead of being proud of his daughters accomplishments he's pissed off shes chosen her mums name rather than her fathers who while involved isn't who she loves with.

sadaboutmycat · 25/08/2023 20:02

See it all the time. It's never an issue.

GlossyCatsMum · 26/08/2023 11:15

Luckypoppy · 25/08/2023 18:30

Could this be a school generated copy of the results with a 'known as' name. Then when the real exam certificates arrive, they will have legal name on them?

Working in exams I think this is the case. Our system randomly generates names for students and can include known as and legal depending on the report we are running.

Students receive their entries and students have to confirm that the "Name on Certificates" is their legal name.

As long as the correct legal name is shown on the certificates that they receive later this year, it shouldn't be a problem.

IamfeelingHappy · 27/08/2023 17:19

My daughter goes to a private school and her 'known' name is on her GCSE results because these were generated by the school. I bet if she gets a certificate her results will be in her legal name.

twelly · 27/08/2023 17:25

The comments that point out that the student can choose their used name in my view would then open up the argument that those students who prefer a male of female name different to their sex could do so - which in my view would be totally wrong