Send our Son to school age 4 or 5..?

[StevenB1]

Hey everyone,

Hope you are all doing well.

So...,our son is due to start reception this year in September and has been offered a place near by,but we are considering asking the school if he can keep a place but start when hes 5 instead. I know theres been a lot of debates on this..

He was a prem baby but has shot up fast, hes 4 now obviously and goes to a nursery 3 day a week, hes come on a lot since he started, he has started stuttering a bit and struggling to get some words out..this was a problem previously for a month or so..he got over it and now its back. He isnt very shy anymore and has a decent interaction level with kids his age...

He does struggle to write his name etc or do any writing in general...he shows no interest and its an absolute struggle to try and get him to even attempt it,same with doing numbers etc.., he can count verbally but doesnt recognise numbers in picture form etc..

We dont want to really disrupt the learning he is getting at the nursery at the moment and we arent 100% certain he would fit into the routine of reception yet..so we are just looking for advice from people that have done it or any reasons as to why not etc.

Thank you very much

More misinformation. Blanket policies that deny any summer born child from entering reception at age 5 are illegal. It's definitely not a given that OP's child would have to miss reception, it would be illegal for a school to say 'no we don't do that here' in response to her request.

I’m sending my June born part time to reception , school aren’t keen but I don’t care. He barely attends nursery because he refuses to go only does 6 hours a week in an outdoor setting and reception is manic it has 30 children ! His speech is amazing but I do suspect some sensory issues ,so im settling in gently untill I can judge if he likes it or not and then up to full time when he’s ready. I’ve worked in a school before and I just think it’s so wrong how many children are in one class although this is obviously not the schools fault.

We had this dilemma with our DS. he was born in May, 10 weeks early, so is technically a July baby.

Nursery believe he's ready and we believe he needs the formal setting.

He's not able to do much academically at all. I have tried and tried and he shows no interest. I'm hoping attending school will help with that. He's been put under the school SENCO for when he starts as there's a few issues.

the school he is attending told us he would be put straight into year one if we held him back which we didn't want as reception sets the groundwork which he needs

I never said they are bending the rules. Or that they aren't legally allowed to defer.
There are circumstances where deferring is best. I also, personally, don't see an issue with them entering at Year 1. Depending on the set up, it may even be better to enter at KS2/ Year 3. Parents absolutely can, but obviously a Year 3 aged shouldn't be in Reception, or lower year groups by the same argument they're missing something. It is parental choice ultimately. Neither is wrong or right, just different. Years are designed by age, not ability. There will be some reception aged children reading better than some Year 6 aged children.
All children have the right to start the term after their 5th Birthday, there are no longer multiple entry points in the year, so it is set up they'll enter at that point in usual cohort if parents decide to defer. They cannot start the whole of reception again. For an April child, they too can defer until that age and enter in with their normal cohort. But they are not entitled to change cohort because of that. It is an option for some children born closer to the cut off. And there are circumstances that's absolutely best. That isn't the case here, and I cannot imagine any head letting an April born child join the cohort below.

If you have the chance to wait, do it. Definitely wait. You get one more year of a relaxed not full time nursery environment. It all changes when they start school full time.

This is always difficult and actually may cause issues later or may be great benefit although Jones of what you say is unusual for a child prior to school.

If you delay and need to use a school bus service, at 16, compulsory school transport stops e.g no transport for year 11. They will be quite a bit older than about 1/3 of the class, which is massive at reception age and again near year 6/7. How will he feel if he is bored because he is older (can be an issue for September born children), which can lead to disengagement with learning. Worst case he legally can leave school at the end of year 10 with no qualifications. He is physically going to be more able but if loves sports may have an issue even competing for the school - there will be routes to apply for some children to play down a year e.g. late August, but you are looking at 5 months older, but would be the same for outside of school clubs, he would be in a different football or cricket team to his class and then becomes obvious to him and others how much older he is.

Academically he may struggle if he goes to school in September but given how much older he is and regardless of being prem would have gone to school in September would he struggle anyway as others catch up as by year 6 achievementcan be varied just not by age but ability. You don't say how prem and that can make a difference a 24 weeker over a 36 weeker where at 36 most development has happened or 24 weeks which more likely to have longer term impacts.

My biggest fear would be them resenting the fact they were delayed, particularly as not an end of August birthday (where even then a child who doesn't enjoy school wouldn't be happy), particularly as he can't hide how old he is and when his birthday is.

Unless there are very specific reasons to delay I’d say go for this September?

Hes already doing 3 days a week happily- Reception will just build on that base?

As an April born, he’s about halfway through the year? 40% will be younger than him?

If you delay Reception til next September - if that’s even possible- he will be significantly older than most of the kids in the class?

our Dd is July born.

reception was hard work as she was a long way behind the autumn borns. She had some extra help and gradually gradually closed the gap and overtook them. Got all 9s at GCSE and currently aiming for Oxbridge.

delaying her would not have helped.

My DD was 4 + 2 weeks when she started reception last year. I was so nervous about whether I’d done the right thing but she has thrived. She does long days too - breakfast and after school club every day.

For my DD, being the youngest works for her as she looks up to those around her and is able to keep up. I think she’d be bored if she was the oldest (she rarely plays with children younger than her and usually opts to play with those who are older).

My friend didn’t defer her son but I think he may have benefitted from it. He has some delays and being one of the younger ones has not helped.

I think deciding to defer is such a personal choice. I asked nursery/pre-school in the end if they felt I should defer and I trusted their judgement about whether my DD would cope.

Hi,

Just wondering what you ended up doing? Deferring or part time reception

Hello!

In the end we went with reception and he's still there now full time. A few other kids have dropped down to part time with one deciding they would wait.

There have been a few times we had considered that we should have done the opposite but on the whole it's been OK.

I think if we were to do it again then maybe we would have just went with deferred as he mainly has issues concentrating when in class but he's fine at home when doing tasks etc. But thank you for asking! :)