Send our Son to school age 4 or 5..?

[StevenB1]

Hey everyone,

Hope you are all doing well.

So...,our son is due to start reception this year in September and has been offered a place near by,but we are considering asking the school if he can keep a place but start when hes 5 instead. I know theres been a lot of debates on this..

He was a prem baby but has shot up fast, hes 4 now obviously and goes to a nursery 3 day a week, hes come on a lot since he started, he has started stuttering a bit and struggling to get some words out..this was a problem previously for a month or so..he got over it and now its back. He isnt very shy anymore and has a decent interaction level with kids his age...

He does struggle to write his name etc or do any writing in general...he shows no interest and its an absolute struggle to try and get him to even attempt it,same with doing numbers etc.., he can count verbally but doesnt recognise numbers in picture form etc..

We dont want to really disrupt the learning he is getting at the nursery at the moment and we arent 100% certain he would fit into the routine of reception yet..so we are just looking for advice from people that have done it or any reasons as to why not etc.

Thank you very much

i deeply regret not delaying my premature twins (May birthday). They were not ready for formal learning and reception was a real slog. It was an emotional and stressful year, and they were flagged as being behind their peers by the end. They are now finishing y1 and are gradually catching up, but with lots of support required. I think a year later it would have all come more naturally without having to push push push them along. I generally think formal schooling starts much too soon in the uk. Some children are probably ready at 4yo, but mine definitely were not.

5

When is he 5? Technically he can start the term after he turns 5. If that is January or Easter he is entitled to keep his place. If it is September 2024 you would need to reapply and the school accept him as deferred. If that is your plan contact LA asap. Your new application will probably have to be submitted on paper rather than online.

My concern if they are holding his space rather than holding back a year would be the catching up he would need to do when he does start school.

Would a school hold a place for a year?!

I recommend the Facebook group “flexible school admission for summer borns”

lots of good advice on there

we benefitted from waiting til 5, if that helps

Hello - we had this dilemma with our v. Prem DD. But as was posted above, you can only legally delay until the term they turn 5 in, not delay the school year. In effect that means they miss out on some/much of Reception and really lovely bit of schooling - the Early Years foundation stage of the Nat. Curriculum.

I very much understand your hesitancy and your worries, and if I’m honest, my DD still only gets to grips with her school year group in the last term of the year. But that’s how it goes. Some kids will always be old/young fit the year wherever you draw it. We support her in every way we can and she keeps up despite being born at 25 weeks. Good luck to your family.

To offer a counterpoint to the views already given - mine are August and June born before deferring was a thing.

DH and I were also August and June born ourselves and so possibly experienced less anxiety as a result of already being very academically and career successful.

Our children did very well both socially and academically going to school at four rather than five.

Someone has to be the youngest in the year and I really can't see why a May born child would require deferring unless there is SEND or suspected SEND present.

One of mine is autistic and the other dyslexic and still both are in the top end of their respective years academically.

Just from a different perspective. If he starts school younger he will be younger when he moves on to university- if that’s the path he eventually chooses. There can be a big difference in emotional maturity within a year at that stage and being a bit older when you’re making that transition can really help

When was he 4? Struggling to write his name is typical of a reception age child. There's no big flags in what you've said about not being ready for school. However, there is a big advantage (generally) to being the oldest in the class as opposed to the youngest. Deferring is an individual family choice in terms of financial and practical reasons. Do what you think is best for your child.

When was he 4? Struggling to write his name is typical of a reception age child. There's no big flags in what you've said about not being ready for school.

This ^

When you say we are considering asking the school if he can keep a place but start when hes 5 instead. what do you have in mind?

As a school can't hold a place open for him.
Without an official deferral (which should have been done in January, in our LA) , then any application you do next year will be for a place in Year one.
I think it is far better to do a year in Reception over going straight into Year 1. You can't just put his name down for a Reception place (in England and Wales at least) is he is of an age when he should be in Year 1.

If the rest of the class start in September, a lot of work will be done by the Reception staff in gently easing them into school and routines, that won't be done to nearly the same extent if an individual starts later in the year (if it is the case you are talking about him starting in March or April or whenever he turns 5). Also, of course it is very likely the place offered now, might well have been taken by another child, and he might not then get your preferred school.

Not necessarily! Many take a gap year, if not most, before university.

Send him at 5. I'm a teacher of early years and if there are any other factors it's very obvious in how the younger children manage at school. Go for it.

Lots of misinformation in this thread OP. As someone already posted 'flexible school admissions for summer borns' Facebook group is a great place to go for accurate information.

The school can't hold his place open though (assuming it's not a private school?), you'd have to reapply this coming year if you want to send him to reception at 5 and you'd need to apply to the admissions authority for approval ASAP.

My DD will be starting reception at 5 this year, she's come on so much in the past year, I'm so glad that we didn't send her last year. I live in a part of the country where it's very easy to send your kids to school at 5 and know/have met quite a few other local parents who have done this over the past few years and all have been happy.

Thanks for your replies everyone. Much appreciated. Sorry for late replies, I had all intentions of still being awake! Haha.

He was born in on April 12th. We spoke to the school here where they've had a few cases of keeping places "open" as they call it, in other words when we discussed it with them they would keep his name on a list with others until next year and then re send the paperwork out to get him into the school, although she did say there was no guarantees it would be at reception level and as you all have said would be down to the local authority.

We have spoken to the nursery that he is at now and they are more than happy to have him another year where he would be moving up into another class that they have where they start to teach a bit more, reading, writing, pronunciation etc, this would still be for 3 days a week (15 hours), until next year to which I may be wrongly assuming it would be September 2024 when he would officially start school...but this may be year 1 rather than reception.

Would it be best to speak to the school again and outline what we are planning? It was a bit of a rush conversation the other day.

We have until the 16th of this month before we have to submit his forms if we want him to go this year

I would send him to school. I certainly wouldn't skip Reception and go into year 1, as then he would miss lots of teaching in phonics etc. I'd be reluctant to defer an April birthday. I understand he was premature, so due later in the year, but he would potentially be 16m older than some of classmates. I can imagine that being frustrating when he is older and more developed physically/socially.

If deferred a year he could potentially be 16 months older than his classmates. That can be a big gap as he gets older.

Mine is a late June birthday. She started school with speech delay, and unable do recognise jetters, numbers etc. Couldn't hold a pencil. I had to make a special effort the week before to teach her to count to 10. She barely learnt any phonics etc in Reception... but picked it up in Yr1. Yr2 and Yr3 were tricky. Yr4... Covid hit. She did well with the mixture of home learning and school in Yr and Yr5... she caught up a lot. Yr6... she took off! Now end of Yr7, and she's higher end of top set for Stem subjects, doing extremely well in languages and doing above average in English. The child who wouldn't say boo to a goose a year ago not only auditioned for the school play next year... shes got a part!

Long term, I think deferral would have done her more harm.

I started my summer born aged 5, instead of aged 4, and it was the best decision we ever made.

A lot of people mistakenly think that if you start them the term after they are 5 they have to go straight into Year 1 and skip reception but that really isn’t the case.

My son started Reception two weeks after his fifth birthday and will be moving up to Year 1 this August just after he turns 6.

I had to get confirmation off the schools that he’d be allowed to go into the reception class and not be placed in Year 1, and although some parents do face pushback from headteachers on this issue, thank fully I didn’t and the 3 schools I approached said it world be fine.

You still have to apply for a school place in the time frame as tough you were planning on sending your child after their 4th birthday and then you decline the school places when you are offered them and then re-apply again the next year.

In the lead to my initial application (I.e if I was going to send my son to school aged 4) I spoke to the LEA and told them about my intention of sending my son to school aged 5, and not 4, and I asked for their guidance.

They advised that I contacted the 3 schools that I would be applying to and inform the head teacher I didn’t want to send my son until he was 5, and ask them for their written agreement that they would still place my son in Reception and not put him straight into Year 1. The LEA advisor said that when the teachers had agreed to this they would then need to inform their Academies/the LEA and then it would all be in place, ready for when my son started school the following year instead.

So that’s what I did and I had no problems.

So I applied via the usual processes as though I would be sending him to school when he was four, but when my school place offerings came in I simply declined them. That felt very scary!!

I then reapplied the next year and alongside my application I included a letter to say that it had been previously agreed
by all the schools that they would accept my son into reception at aged 5, and as all previous agreements and conversations were already logged and filed by the LEA and Headteachers, the process was completely smooth.

As I said some parents can meet resistance when it comes to getting an agreement for their child to go into Reception and not Year 1, but there are ways to fight that and most parents will win.

You may also hear myths that if your child joins reception (and not Year 1) then at some point they will have to skip a year to be moved up into the cohort they “should” have originally started with, but this is also rubbish, so don’t let that put you off. If a 5 year old starts in reception they are able to stay in that cohort for the duration of their education.

Although he's eligible to start school this September, he doesn't have to go full time until the term after his 5th birthday. Why don't you think about sending him part time (mornings, because this is when the majority of schools teach phonics)? You could increase if/when you thought he was ready.

Surely no head would allow an April born child to defer into Reception? It would be Year 1.
Even a child who turns 4 tomorrow may struggle. It's usually done for July & August babies. I don't think there's anything wrong with skipping Reception, as long as you educate him yourself and provide social opportunities. It can be good in some situations, bad or indifferent in others.
Personally, I would start him off on 3 mornings a week and increase throughout the year. You're able to send him part time, and you can decide the hours until the term after 5th Birthday. This would probably be more beneficial.

The delayed start option is available to any child born between April and August.

I would just have him start. I think it is better to start the same time as his peers. Better then him having to join mid year when friendship groups have already been made.

Yes, but it is up to the head whether it is Reception or Year 1.
It is usually just July and August babies that can defer into Reception. It certainly wouldn't happen at schools around here.

I can't imagine the parents of the next reception cohort being very happy with a child turning 6 in April, with some still being 4 for a few months.
In Year 6 of Primary, he'd be 12 for a fair chunk, whilst some are still 10. Big difference at that age, all sorts of issues. He'd be totally out of place, I just can't see how any heads would allow it.

He will be fine either way.

But no one ever regrets deferring a child ( in my experience as a primary school head).