Is private school worth it?

[sunisbetterthanrain]

Interested to hear thoughts on whether private school is worth it for primary school years? Neither me nor my partner went but are considering it for our daughter. Local schools round here are pretty good, is it just a waste of money that could be better spent on experiences or saving for her future?

Depends on the child as well. My summer born is very anxious in large setting and crowds.
I am worried he will not be able to settle in a class of 30+. I do not want get into situation when I have to take him out of the state school because he was unable to settle. It happens to the younger children who have to start school when they just turned 4.
I will reassess when DS is 7 or 8 but he seems ahead in development academically so might get bored in the state school.

This country starts children in schools far too young. I started at 7, in a school with 8 (eight forms) and finished with knowledge way ahead of the UK A-levels.

Forgot to mention: I am lucky to be in position to choose. Otherwise I was going to apply for delayed start of the school.

He might be anxious because you are? Why won't he settle in a class of 30?

As a state school teacher, 5 years ago I'd have said no. Now, since covid at least and looking forward to the problems we are facing, I would 100% say yes.

This is what I was also told by State school teachers in our very good secondary. I didn’t want to put that on here, I felt it needed to come from a teacher. But we wanted to move them before they got further behind.

re poster on £30k fees not much. We are regions. I think fees are c. £28k atm they go up to £16k at senior school and we have a nominal scholarship for my eldest of 10%.

I am private school educated but have chosen state for my kids. We are lucky in that we live in a catchment of excellent schools. A close friend chose the private option from reception until funds prevented it from years 9 and 8 - they had to scrimp to send to private but I dont think they got an amazing experience. We haven't had to forgo holidays etc and do a great deal of outside school and some private tuition. I don't regret state school choice but maybe that is because the state school around where we live is excellent and the private so so

Because he is not emotionally mature for formal education. He is not 4 yet, but will have to start Reception in September, one of the youngest and shortest in the class. Fyi, listen to BBC Sounds called 'Whodunnit? The Calendar Conspiracy'.

In our nursery, in the last three years of preschool groups of 15-17 children only one child went to a state school.

@AnyoneElse1982
this isn’t necessarily true. All the girls I’ve known who went private lost their way in their lives either by marrying the wrong guy and getting into the wrong crowd, dropping out of Uni, becoming dependent on alcohol. In fact we have a close friend who is a head at a private and wouldn’t send her kids there either!!!!

@Daisydooooooo if that were true in general, you'd hardly see private schools dominating the elite professions in the way they do.

Parents (including their socioeconomic background as well as their involvement) are the majority of kids outcomes. Private school on average leads to better academic scores but this will vary wildly based on the individual private and state school options one has as a real option.

Unless you can easily afford it, it is unlikely to be worth it despite the above being true.

@MomFromSE
Im just giving you my perspective from my experience in life.

@Daisydooooooo fair enough but there is plenty of data out there so anecdotal experiences don't have to be the basis of making such a major financial decision.

Also you’ll still get the chav kids going to those schools, as they take in a certain amount as part of their quota. Just saying for those who want to go there because if the “prestige”.

Yes. Usually it's just a nicer environment. Also more music, arts and sports.
We started off at local primary and moved DC for years 4 and 3 onwards. Best thing we ever did.

@Daisydooooooo what are you talking about 'chav' quotas?

good question. My kids have done a mix, one entirely state, one prep then state and one prep, state, private.

A good state high performing state school for confident settled kids who are happy to do lots of out of school things, no issue at all. Eldest had top a level grades, 5 RG uni offers for highly competitive subjects and is looking like walking in to a high paying career in the City which is exactly what he wanted.

youngest is doing well at state secondary, pastoral care is stretched but no issues academically. Will take a view for 6th form

youngest did state and prep for primary, the smaller class sizes and pastoral one on one made a massive difference. State secondary was harder socially and they didn't get involved in extra curricular as they got lost in the crowd, and weren't interested as it was there, but not expected. Back to private for 6th form and thriving in more ways than ever expected. What is interesting is that outstanding teaching at GCSE in state is paying dividends in A level subjects with things like essay structures, critical analysis etc being real strength and them flying high academically where as at very high performing state they were just above middle despite all GCSE's being 7-8 and all because of excellent state teaching.

@Travelationjubilation

That's interesting. Would you say, then, for your youngest that the difference back in private is that he is happier and has a bit more breathing room to put together some of the things he learned due to his excellent teaching in state, or that now he has a chance to focus on a few subjects he is reaping the benefits.

The main reason for the move was A level choice which wasn't available in any of our state schools so we were lucky to have the option to go back to private.

Main benefit has been the compulsary getting involved. They've had no choice but to get involved in sports and are reluctantly playing on a sports team but secretly enjoying it, the expectation that you join in. I can't say they love all the things they're being made to do but they're not given the option to opt out.

It has made a massive difference pastorally too and I think that the being busy has helped their mental health, there's not much downtime to get bored or ponder social media. I don't think that the 6th form teaching is any different and the state school is actually better academically at A level but I do think that having that level of support and oversight from the teachers works for them.

Having said that, my eldest was such a joiner in type of person that although they would have enjoyed the private school at 6th form I'm not sure that it would be as beneficial as they were happy, settled and thriving at the state school and was self motivated to get involved with everything. They certainly wouldn't have got better grades or gone to a different university.

That is interesting. I have a reception child in private school. I don't think the teaching is better, but they do a lot of activities and my daughter does like that. I can't facilitate everything and work so I find it comforting that she does have quite a bit of exposure to sport, art, forest school, swimming etc at school - I know lots of state schools do too, but not all do

A lot of responses seem to suggest that the extra curricular activities are the main benefit at prep school - sports, arts, music, drama etc. Especially considering our local state schools perform quite well in terms of KS1 & 2 results

Slightly diverting from my original question but on a related note I often feel there can be higher expectation when someone has attended a private school, for example you hear things such as "oh he hasn't done very well in life considering all that money spent on private education"

Anyone else notice this? I'd imagine there can be quite a lot of pressure!

I have no experience of state schools in this country. I was state educated up until university, but was in a highly selective state high school based on my academic results. I’ve pursued private university and masters degrees, which have served me well. In my view, it’s worth paying extra for private education (which we are doing for my DD starting reception this year and will be for my second one when the time comes) as long as it isn’t to the detriment of overall quality of life. What’s more, I wouldn’t send my kids to a bog standard indie. We’ve chosen a top 50 school for my DD as academics (beyond the nice grounds, activities, etc) are important to us.

If you have money at your disposal why not?

I went to a big standard comp and continued on my chosen career path with my required alevels and would not have benefited from a more academic push as I know my limitations

dh went to one of the top private academic schools in England and went on his chosen career path with his brace of As

our children go to a standard secondary school, with average League results. first has come through with 3 As in stem and second has completed last mocks before GCSEs with several 9s and 8s in stem they will do as well as their ability will allow

third is following behind excelling in English and drama and will be doing art etc

the school does need to match their ability I think

There is so much more to Education than just results. I went to an excellent selective state school and it churned out amazing results. But the quality of Education wasn’t/isn’t a patch on what I can see of our private Senior school.

School means so much, carries so many memories.