Is private school worth it?

[sunisbetterthanrain]

Interested to hear thoughts on whether private school is worth it for primary school years? Neither me nor my partner went but are considering it for our daughter. Local schools round here are pretty good, is it just a waste of money that could be better spent on experiences or saving for her future?

What's the entry point at year 7 if you want to do private secondary? In some areas avoiding the 11+ is a big plus for private primary. I don't regret sending either of our kids private from reception.

I think you have to consider what you want to do at secondary and if that is private with 3 kids you’re looking at years of high fees and probably around £750k all in- maybe even higher depending on secondaries. That is one hell of a commitment. For us, we wanted less financial pressure during primary to give us a chance to save for secondary fees in advance as the value add locally is significantly greater at secondary.

The biggest differences are class sizes (although 20-25 to 30 aren’t that much different) and music provision which is fairly rubbish at our primary compared to the all singing all dancing offer at some of the preps attached to secondaries. I also looked quite carefully at leavers destinations of some of the preps that weren’t attached to a senior school and I wasn’t that wowed. I’ve also since realised most of the parents at my daughter’s activities are from prep schools so are basically doing a ton of extra circular stuff on top anyway.

It depends on your exact options for state and private and the needs of your child.

There are outstanding state schools and mediocre private schools and each child has really specific needs to thrive.

Most children will do well in a good state school supported by involved parents who can pay for extracurricular activities.

Private school on average is better but not essential. Its a luxury and like all luxuries, it worth it if you can afford it.

No. I wouldn't do it again honestly

Taught in both (primary age) and had DCs in both. It really does depend on your local options. I was amazed in one private school how many parents paid to send their children to our school despite living in catchments areas of utterly amazing state village primary schools where the nature of the area and class sizes means it is so similar to a prep school. This makes no sense. Likewise we sent our own to prep school after a move as all the local options were pretty rubbish. After a few terms it became clear that our children didn't warrant much attention in their classes of 30 as they weren't on EHCPs or IEPs. The teacher of one of mine calling them by the wrong name (and clearly having mixed them up with another boy) was the final straw for me. I don't begrudge the staff that, they have too many to look after. In a prep school the teacher will know the pupils very very well in my experience - and that will carry on as they move through the school meaning a very personalised, nurturing time for their whole time there.

What I would say is if your child is pretty "middling" they will probably do better in a private school - in big classes in state schools teachers often know their brightest (those they have to set extra work for) and those who need most support / behavioural help best rather than those who are in the middle and just get on. The enrichment experiences, after school clubs etc are much much better in all prep schools I've been to and taught in. It is an expectation that teachers, and often TAs, provide a club as well as more experienced sports coaches etc offering football, rugby etc.

Another thing to remember is there are different levels of private school. The first I worked in was very rough and ready - no marketing team, posh facilities etc, the second much more middle ground. We visited one for our children that was way too posh for our liking , and of course much more expensive! I would say these higher end ones are really a waste of money, unless you a a multi millionaire where it is no issue to you at all. I think the middle one was probably the best, it gave better opportunities (amazing school productions, music lessons and shows, better libraries and ICT equipment, trips, clubs etc) so you felt you were getting more for paying for education which could be free in a state school - you felt the benefit more. In the first - "rough and ready" it felt very much it was just offering what a good state school should because those in the local area were not really up to scratch.

Also don't forget to take into account the extra costs that aren't part of school fees - can you "keep up with the Jones'" as it were? While this may not be important to you (quite rightly) it likely will become an issue with your little ones when they reach the higher end of prep age or senior school age and they can't have the latest tech, labels and experiences their friend do! This can be a real consideration. Can you afford the £1,000 school ski trip all their mates are going on, the £50 blazer for their uniform, the social events etc. Even within private schools you will have those who are struggling like mad to pay the fees and those who aren't bothered by it one bit.

In short - is private worth it? It depends wholly on what options you have around you. I know parents who have paid for private prep schools (which are cheaper than private senior schools) as a sort of long term private tutoring to get their DC to pas the 11+ and into grammar schools. If you have good local schools, especially if the fees will cause you to adjust your lifestyle and make too many sacrifices then no it isn't. If your children love things like music, drama and so on, especially at Prep age, private can bring a lot of advantages and opportunities state may not provide.

maddy68
Do you mind me asking why you wouldn't?

We sent our DS to an independent school in Oxfordshire and tbh, as time went on we became increasingly concerned at how much time was spent on window dressing activities (plays, events, stuff that made it into glossy marketing magazines) as opposed to the core curriculum. The class size was too small and became stifling for developing their own chosen friendships.

When we relocated during lockdown, our DS was assessed by the state primary we sent him to and was found to be below academic expectation for his age. Thanks to some amazing support from his new teacher, they brought him right back up and he's now gifted & talented (or greater understanding now I think) on core subjects. It wasn't the child it was definitely the school, which really grates when I think back to all those expensive sports facilities and grounds we were paying for and they couldn't even get the basics right.

In my peer group, my friends kids who have gone state have excelled (Oxbridge graduates) whereas the independent kids have struggled to adapt to the working world.

I'm not saying this is the situation across the board, this is simply my experience.

I think it’s important to look at outcomes and alumni. Our prep prides itself on being academic and there is a pretty tough entrance exam. In saying that I can easily say there were kids brighter at our local State school, it doesn’t mean the top talent it means kids bright enough to pass the tests and the parents can afford it. I also know plenty of tutoring goes on behind the scenes. Yes the sports provision is brilliant but if you want the kids in A or B teams they still need to do that sport outside of school at local club level at least.

I sing the praises of our prep because it is brilliant and personally I know (due to my background/ethnicity etc) that I need to give the kids a head start as they’ll face other prejudice by virtue of their heritage. I think this is often why there are a lot of Black, Asian and of colour children in private schools. We don’t have white privilege. However taking all that into account I would have still moved them from the excellent state offering as the quality of education on offer just can’t be replicated at state level.

Generally I'd say no if you have good state options. We could afford it at a pinch but would've had to massively cut back on other stuff, and for DS the value would be marginal as while the state school probably doesn't stretch him as much he's still done well.
For DD there would be a clearer benefit as she has SEN and a class of 30 is utterly overwhelming for her. Unfortunately that same SEN means most private schools wouldn't even consider her.

In our experience, state primary was very good. Independent was worthwhile for secondary.

I think private makes most sense from an academic perspective if you have a child that needs stretching and isn't being challenged and the private option you have will do so.

I agree regarding co-curricular offering. Private schools offer broad exposure to art, music and sport that isn't possible in state schools. However, most kids do activities outside of school as well. This is particularly true for anyone doing activities to an elite level.

At my DD's private school the kids do PE / sport 3 times a week which I think is really valuable. Being active has been shown to improve learning in addition to the other physical benefits.

My kids have gone to very selective private secondaries (top 20 in the country, I think, something like that) and we didn't have to make any big sacrifices to our lives in order to pay. Nor was it particularly difficult for them to get in at 11+ from a 'requires improvement' state primary. They were tutored once a week for a year, but then so were the children i know at private primaries.

I'm still not entirely sure it was worth it. Their friends from primary who went to state secondaries seem to have done as well or better after all that and have got the benefit of local friends and a walk to school. Of course I can never see what would have happened in this parallel universe. The private secondaries are both really, really good schools with great teaching and I can't complain about the lively, intellectual curious way mine have emerged. But who knows?

These sort of conversations always seem to revolve around the benefits or not of private schools. What can get missed, I think, is the enormous benefits of state schools, particularly at primary school level. For the whole family, there is something wonderful about your children going into a school that's the geographic heart of an area. It made me feel part of a busy urban part of London in a way that I had never felt before.

I've just dug out an old article of the brilliant journalist Janice Turner who puts it better than me:
"a state primary with a genuine social mix, for all its outward shabbyness, is one of the most heartwarming and optimistic places on earth."

@Valleyofthedollymix ^What can get missed, I think, is the enormous benefits of state schools, particularly at primary school level. For the whole family, there is something wonderful about your children going into a school that's the geographic heart of an area. It made me feel part of a busy urban part of London in a way that I had never felt before."

Yes very much to this. For the first few years of primary at least, when they are grappling with the idea of school at all and getting to grips with books and learning and nativity plays and school fayres and art exhibitions its lovely to be in the community primary school where almost everyone lives within walking distance. Most private schools have a much wider catchment and there's a lot less community.

That’s why we did our local first and have wonderful local friendships! I even went to the School Bingo and see all my mum friends regularly. It was great catching up with the teachers too. Our old HT took me to one side (when I said we were leaving) and said if you can do it, she said why wouldn’t you? I have a lot of respect for her and the SLT. They’re doing a great job in challenging times, I was very proactively involved in the school too reading, parent council, fundraising and I’m sorry I had to give that all up when I moved my kids.

And I really think that it's not something that can be replicated in a private primary school, at least not where I live. But then of course, my kids never went to a private primary school so I'm speculating. But loads of friends' kids did and it seemed to involve stressy car journeys and playdates at houses the same distance the other side of the school.

The benefit of local primary, less local secondary, is that by that time it's up to your kids to get themselves to school. I was never going to do that driving/parking/swearing thing to get them there.

One thing I think people ought to consider these days is the growing trend to apply some kind of "deprivation score" to the intake of elite institutions.

There is huge pressure to widen the demographics at all sorts of institutions (not just universities).

The advantages of private schooling might outweigh this, for you, but it's worth knowing.

No places for for top students at Edinburgh Law

@Dissimilitude yes I have heard of people moving their child for sixth form to a state school in order to better improve their chances of getting into top universities!

I’d say it costs us £30k net a year to send the kids to their prep school.

that's pretty cheap though. Secondaries are normally 20k plus a year

I've worked in private & state & think if you can get your dc into one of the best state schools it's the best option. Yes private schools will have more facilities & look nicer but not to justify 20-30k a yr.

At my kids private primary 70 percent of kids life within a mile of the school so it still feels very local with many families very close by for play dates. I think you can’t generalise but most people aren’t prepared to do long complicated school runs for very young kids so I don’t think out experience is that unusual.

Locally here we have some fab grammar schools , so I can the investment at primary would be worth it. A large percentage of the private primary pupils get grammar places as they have tuition alongside from a relatively early age.

Then they get in grammar school and have a fabulous free state education at secondary and sixth form.

Rarely will a parent admit private isn't worth it, when they have made considerable sacrifices.

Personally I know high achievers that have been through private schools, and also drug addicts, bankrupts, and someone who has taken their own life. I'm aware the same is true with people who have been to state schools

Private schools don't come with any guarantees for future happiness. I personally don't think it's worth getting yourself in a muddle financially for.

Unfortunately we don't have any grammar schools locally, the closest one is a 45 minute drive and is incredibly selective - top 10 in the country I believe! Probably won't end up being a realistic option.

yes i'm in a grammar area & so many in prep still do tutoring

This!