Is this a safeguarding issue

[CandyLeBonBon]

Hi
A TA at my DD's high school has just left. No longer a TA - doing something different I think.

My DD really liked her (I've never met her) and asked for her email. TA gave it to her and they've been chatting. I've read the emails, and there's nothing untoward but I feel very uncomfortable about this and feel it's crossing a safeguarding boundary - if it was public befriending on SM (no option toDM) I'd be fine as it's visible, but this feels off - must adults don't want or need 14y/o pupils as friends.

Am I being overly cautious or would you also be concerned that this is a breach of safeguarding boundaries and probably unethical?

It is probably completely innocent however you are right to be aware.

As your DD asked for the email in the first place, and the TA no longer works at the school, is you monitoring the emails sufficient? If you feel not then a quick email to the TA saying as your dd’s parent you feel the contact isn’t appropriate and it needs to stop should do it (assuming all is innocent). Then get DD to block / delete the address and move on.

I think you can deal with this as a parent without needing involvement from the school.

That said, it is possible the ex TA has shared her email address more widely in which case it would be helpful to the school to know this as not every parent will be as on it as you are.

If your DD asked for her email is it possible that the TA is just responding as she feels bad not replying? Personally I wouldn't have given my email out to a pupil even if I were leaving the role but not everyone has such boundaries working with children and some people get over invested which makes them lose sight of professionalism.

I'm surprised she gave her email address tbh. I've worked with young people. They do get attached, but purely to avoid any potential for misunderstandings of motivation I would probably not have given out my email address to a vulnerable 14 year old.

Or at the very least I would have made sure that parents were happy with the set up, to ensure transparency.

Yes I agree. Is the TA young herself?

Does the email content concern you in any way? Are they meeting up?

I think it is worth a conversation with the school, sensible, rational, just making them aware, even though the TA has left.

That way the school can set this into what they do or don't already know. It could be a pattern, part of a bigger picture or nothing of concern, but at least you have made them aware.

And make sure your DD shares the messages with you.

This TA could be really innocent in this, could be acting as a mentor type figure. My DC’s had adult friends through a local group, I didn't worry, they were such good role models for them.

Could you and your daughter meet up with the TA for a chat? Might give you a sense of what is behind this.

I am a teacher and I now run summer camps.

There are very strict safeguarding protocols around friendships with under 18s.
So on our teens camp, any leader over 18 is not allowed to exchange contact details with an under 18 for communicating after camp has finished.
(which occasionally leads to a slightly funny situation with 17 year old campers and 19 year old leaders not being allowed to exchange details)

It is just seen as bad practice, and falls under the banner of exclusive relationships.
But there is an easy way round it, the solution is to make the emails non exclusive, so for example there is a group of you, the TA and your daughter and they chat and you are a 'silent' partner.

I feel for the TA who is trying to be nice, but actually could find herself in trouble. She is exposing herself to accusations here.

Because she's 14

I’d think it odd, an adult wanting to be mates with a 14 year old, even without the ex TA part.

This.

As a secondary school TA, I wouldn't stay in contact with a student in that way.

I'm a teacher of over 20 years experience, so a bit of knowledge in this area.

I don't think there is a safeguarding issue here as it would clearly appear there is no wrong doing on the part of the ex. TA

We all know that alas there are some wrong-un's working in education, but it is worth keeping in mind that 99.9% of school staff are perfectly nice normal people.

As she no longer works for the school she is not bound by any of their contractural obligations, they could still raise a safeguarding concern to the local authority, but I can't see why they would have any cause to in this case.

Saying all that it's never wrong to raise a concern, thats what the system is for, if there is no merit found in the concern it won't get reported up the tree so to speak.

I'd add I think it is naive in the extreme to ever give a personal email to a pupil or former pupil, there is a high chance of it getting passed around and your inbox being full of prank messages.

My school email is on the school website, so any ex pupils who want to touch base, and a few do (always good to hear how life is going for them) can get in touch that way.

The TA no longer works in the school.
You can raise a concern with the school if you like. Sounds like the 14 year old could do with some education about boundaries.

I'm deputy safeguarding lead.

@roseopose yes a think she is - early/mid twenties I'm guessing.

I disagree.
There was probably a social media policy when she was working there and it should have included exchanging contact details which is generally considered to be not good policy. While she is no longer contractually obliged to stick to that, it doesn't change that it is not good practice.

It doesn't look like she is doing anything wrong, but the whole way safeguarding policies are written are to create good practice so that there are no spaces for things to go wrong.

This is veyr unwise of the TA and she really should not be contacting your daughter for her own sake ie, it looks bad.

As I said above, you can simply create a small group with you in it, so it is not an exclusive friendship and then you are back within the realm of good practice.

We do talk about boundaries. But sometimes 14 year olds think they know better.

As I said above, you can simply create a small group with you in it, so it is not an exclusive friendship and then you are back within the realm of good practice.

This could be a good idea, Thankyou

Yes, all our kids have our email addresses (the gsuite ones that all staff and kids have assigned to them)
I do have quite a few former students' email addresses as well. They sometimes get in touch with us about further studying stuff and we often contact them to come and talk at open days etc.
Obviously, they're all over 18 by then.

This TA could be really innocent in this, could be acting as a mentor type figure. My DC’s had adult friends through a local group, I didn't worry, they were such good role models for them.

Yes I fully understand this, but bearing in mind I don't know her from Adam, the dynamic is a bit different I think,

She doesn't work at the school now. They have a connection.
Email is the safest form of communication everything is traceable.
I am in touch with some ex pupils (now all adults).

Yes. But my daughter is not an adult, is vulnerable at the moment and I want to make sure she is not in a position to make that worse.

I don't disagree that there was probably a social media policy, all schools have them now, and as I said it was rather a silly thing of her to do.

If she no longer works in education she isn't bound by our practices and ethics - I do think it is unwise of her to disclose a personal email address.

OP, how old is the TA, if she is say a young woman in her early 20's that would seem a more normal role model / mentor / "big sister" type relationship for a 14 year old to be involved in than with someone a lot older.

I think the best you can do is keep an eye on the messages and check it remains innocent.

It is a tricky one!

I work in education and it was very clearly be a safeguarding issue. All our training says that you cannot befriend students immediately after they or you leave. I do have students I stay in touch with but it needs to be at least two years on social media or if I want to stay in touch earlier through work email with a colleague copied in. I understand that to some it might not seem an issue but it does seem inappropriate if you work with young people and against guidelines. It might be something thr TA is u aware of but it makes me feel a bit weird

I can understand why you're a bit apprehensive about this. I think it's a bit unprofessional and it seems strange that a teaching assistant would want to stay in touch with students once they've left the school. Is your daughter the only student whose email address she asked for? It may be that the emails will Peter out soon now that she's left the school, but if you've got concerns maybe you could email the teaching assistant yourself?

I know it is not good practice for adults in a position of authority to exchange contact details with children but I am not sure how recent this policy is - if it was for example OK for the TA to do this 10 years ago when she was 14 maybe she thinks it's OK now.

I used to sing in a choir (early 2000s) and a teacher who was in my section used to be answering text messages from pupils and saying "aww, so sweet" when pupils sent her messages like "you're the best teacher" when she answered their questions on homework.

I wasn't a parent then or in any position of authority and didn't think anything of it except that it was a bit intrusive into choir practice (I did later volunteer with children before we had our DCs and was firmly told not to do this but it could have been up to 10 years later I think).