Any not-posh private schools?!

[mumyes]

Been viewing a few private schools recently and bugger me they're all so fucking posh.

I love the amazing facilities & resources, but they lose me with the excessive snootiness, exclusively wealthy families and when they talk about all the prep schools they're close to.

My DC is at a (lovely) state primary.

Does such a thing as a nice, moderately academic Indy school where not all the kids are from wealthy families exist?!

I agree, we also have a household income of approaching £200k but don't send our kids to private school. We could probably afford it, as we are now mortgage-free on a small terrace in an unfashionable part of zone 3, but it isn't part of the culture where we are. Our friends are architects and journalists and barristers and CFOs and we have all sent our kids to the local comp with fairly shit GCSE results. Frankly paying £100k per child up to GCSE age might get a few higher grades, but is that really worth it? We'd rather they grew up as part of their local community and having friends of all backgrounds.

I think this was the purpose behind free schools. Whatever happened to them?

Some of the Catholic private schools can be cheaper.

Plus then we will be able to afford to support them at uni and with house deposits. If we were paying private school fees, no chance.

My children’s private school is pretty down to earth for a private school. There are a tiny handful of parents who are ex footballers, drive super cars, have more money than sense. My children’s friends parents are teachers, nurses, midwives, accountants, solicitors, pharmacists. Professionals rather than oligarchs. A lot drive very old cars and don’t have holidays as the sacrifice for sending their children to the school.

The free schools I know of have been disastrous. I don't know if that's a general thing.

Perhaps one solution is for state schools to specialise a bit more - where there's a large city or town, have an academic one & a more vocational one.

Fund both properly.

Yes, v good point.

There are grammar schools in the midlands - perhaps you need to consider moving towards them?

But we’ll pay for a private education - they’ll have to sort the
rest of their lives out. If you’re South Midlands what about Warwick School
or Kings High?

Incredibly academic you’re talking kids with very high scores and that doesn’t suit all kids. It’s not just academics.

You need a grammar school..

Sadly it's too late...

I know...none nearby.

The problem is that all schools, including state schools, are quite expensive to run. State schools spend between £5-9k per year per pupil depending primarily on where they are located (London much more expensive). Even if independent schools were only funded to the same level (at which point, why would you choose them if they're not offering anything 'extra'), they'd still be beyond the reach of most people on 'normal' incomes. And that's clearly going to affect the demographic.

Oakham?

What do you perceive a private school education to give? Because it is an elite thing. And then if you send your kids to a top university, same again. Your children will change depending on who they are associating with - you can't stop that process

Pre 1976 there were 170 odd schools called 'Direct Grants'. They levelled things up a bit.
Magdalen College School Oxford was one example.
All were stopped in 1976 and the vast majority went private.
I got a free place to MCS as part of that scheme. Gave me an education I wouldn't have got otherwise.

Yes, this is what I'm trying to say; I actively don't want the elitist bit. I want my DC to be with and learn to get on with kids from all backgrounds / walks of life. But I also want them to have access to good resources and equipment in school. And no state school I have seen offers good, let alone great.

It's basically a grammar school I want.

Did the DG find the pupil or the school?

A lot of Scottish private schools, particularly outwith Edinburgh, are really not posh from my experience.

The grammar will have the same issue, and then university after. If you educate your kids to a high standard away from your own background this is inevitable.

Just send them somewhere they will be happy and revive a reasonable education. If you think a grammar doesn't have social elitism you will discover it does but it's a different sort

Even one of those "shit" comps you don't want to send your kid to is costing the tax payer 7.5k a year 🤷‍♀️

What do you mean by south midlands? None of the Worcestershire privates are particularly posh except for the Malvern ones. Kings and RGS both strike me as quite down to earth.

It was by entrance exam. I assume that the school liaised with the local council in terms of providing means tested grants for the kids who got the best results from poorer backgrounds.
This was also long before the obsession with private tutors, I just turned up and did the exam, as I think almost everyone did. I also knew that I wouldn't be going unless I received a free place.
I'm just very disappointed that inequality regarding education and opportunity in the UK seems to have become much greater in my lifetime.

My DD goes to a private school and we are not very wealthy. She's there on a bursary and scholarship which help with the fees. We couldn't afford it otherwise.
Some of her friends are from wealthier families, some aren't. It's not a big deal.

Our friends are architects and journalists and barristers and CFOs... ...We'd rather they grew up as part of their local community and having friends of all backgrounds.

🤔