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Original poster

Any not-posh private schools?!

164 replies

mumyes · 11/02/2023 21:47

Been viewing a few private schools recently and bugger me they're all so fucking posh.

I love the amazing facilities & resources, but they lose me with the excessive snootiness, exclusively wealthy families and when they talk about all the prep schools they're close to.

My DC is at a (lovely) state primary.

Does such a thing as a nice, moderately academic Indy school where not all the kids are from wealthy families exist?!

OP posts:
GyozaGuiting · 11/02/2023 22:20

I went to a private school and it really wasn’t posh. Just professionals who prioritised education over other things and a lot sacrificed stuff.
My friend’s mum was a nurse and dad a police man for e.g.
I would say Look how many international students there are, the likes of Cheltenham ladies college have their share of rich Arabs, oligarchs and Chinese, which means ££££… having more local kids usually gives it a less wealthy vibe and the fees are more reasonable… but go and get a feel for the place there are more normal schools out there.

Original poster
mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:21

immergeradeaus · 11/02/2023 22:20

Eton have 1 in 5 on bursaries. Very down to earth, and excellent facilities, welcome boys from state schools.

Hahaha!! MN good!! 'Eton is v down to earth'

🤦‍♀️

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olivehater · 11/02/2023 22:22

I don’t understand how do you expect kids at wealthy schools not to come from wealthy families. They either come from family money or earned money. Which is it that you have more of an issue with?

olivehater · 11/02/2023 22:22

At private schools I mean.

declutteringmymind · 11/02/2023 22:22

The school has assets that they use and very generous donors (alumni). They generate a lot of income. Eg 40 acres of a PGL type thing that is a moneymaker. let the school for weddings, teacher training, own the local hockey club, swimming pool is used for external companies to give lessons after school. I think they sell the honey from the apiary too.

Original poster
mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:22

GyozaGuiting · 11/02/2023 22:20

I went to a private school and it really wasn’t posh. Just professionals who prioritised education over other things and a lot sacrificed stuff.
My friend’s mum was a nurse and dad a police man for e.g.
I would say Look how many international students there are, the likes of Cheltenham ladies college have their share of rich Arabs, oligarchs and Chinese, which means ££££… having more local kids usually gives it a less wealthy vibe and the fees are more reasonable… but go and get a feel for the place there are more normal schools out there.

Agree with this but this is our generation. When assisted places existed etc.

It's just not like that anymore I don't think.

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Geebee12 · 11/02/2023 22:24

My children’s private school is not remotely snobby or snotty, at all. We are very down to earth and so are are the majority of the other parents. Day Fees are around 25k (prep) so one of the more expensive ones as well. Are you looking in Surrey? Apparently more snobby there?

declutteringmymind · 11/02/2023 22:25

mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:19

I think part of what I'm saying is that I want my DC to be around all sorts of kids, from every walk of life, but I want all the kids to want to learn & be heading in a similar direction academically.

I could not give a shit how wealthy or not the parents are - the more mixed the better AFAIC.

You can balance that out outside school. My kids play for the local football teams and go to the local scouts, so mix with normal people, and have kept in touch with a few local friends.

Shampern · 11/02/2023 22:25

Why are you so worried what the other kids are like? When they are together at school children are just children.

airfryerandelectricblanket · 11/02/2023 22:26

I hate using the word "posh". It sounds like you feel someone is better than you and they aren't!

Some parents have just got well paying jobs.

Original poster
mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:26

Geebee12 · 11/02/2023 22:24

My children’s private school is not remotely snobby or snotty, at all. We are very down to earth and so are are the majority of the other parents. Day Fees are around 25k (prep) so one of the more expensive ones as well. Are you looking in Surrey? Apparently more snobby there?

Echo chamber springs to mind

OP posts:
Shelefttheweb · 11/02/2023 22:26

I could not give a shit how wealthy or not the parents are - the more mixed the better AFAIC.

It seems from your posts that you are very bothered by how wealthy the parents are and have an inverse snobbery about private schools.

Original poster
mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:27

Shampern · 11/02/2023 22:25

Why are you so worried what the other kids are like? When they are together at school children are just children.

I'm not so much worried about the kids, if you read my PP you'll see it's more about the ethos / choices / resources

OP posts:
greyfox82 · 11/02/2023 22:30

Maybe instead of looking for a private school, just look for good state secondary school options.

olivehater · 11/02/2023 22:31

I don’t think you get many normal professionals sending their kids any more op. We have a household income of over 200k and can’t really afford private school. This is because we have three kids and there is no family money so all our money has gone into getting a decent house in nice area. There isn’t any spare for private school. The only “normal professionals ” with kids in private school will have a relative helping them.
Your best bet is to buy a house in an area with good state schools. You will get a broader range of people and lots of normal professional types. Invest your money in your house. At least you will get that money back.

Snugglemonkey · 11/02/2023 22:34

mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:05

I want a school that is academically selective & has good kit & choices & staff but costs either 0 or less than 5k a year.

Show quote history

You might be seeking a unicorn.

Original poster
mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:36

greyfox82 · 11/02/2023 22:30

Maybe instead of looking for a private school, just look for good state secondary school options.

Well yes, that would be great. Clearly. But you need about 600k to move into the catchment.

OP posts:
Original poster
mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:36

olivehater · 11/02/2023 22:31

I don’t think you get many normal professionals sending their kids any more op. We have a household income of over 200k and can’t really afford private school. This is because we have three kids and there is no family money so all our money has gone into getting a decent house in nice area. There isn’t any spare for private school. The only “normal professionals ” with kids in private school will have a relative helping them.
Your best bet is to buy a house in an area with good state schools. You will get a broader range of people and lots of normal professional types. Invest your money in your house. At least you will get that money back.

Yes, I think you're spot on.

OP posts:
Stuffynosetime · 11/02/2023 22:36

Look op, if you can’t afford private education then pay to live as close to a good school as you can. Your posts are nonsensical and dripping with inverted snobbery, and as no one like it, no one is biting.

LexMitior · 11/02/2023 22:38

Don't send your children to private school. They will be miserable and so will you. You need plenty of money and a thick skin

PermanentTemporary · 11/02/2023 22:38

Obviously I know what you mean. Easy to be casual having had no choice but state school and it working out fine in ds's case.

I think most parents in your fortunate situation either apply for a place in a Catholic state school, find a coeducational day private school and sweat it out, or move to a grammar school area and spend a fortune on tutoring.

But most of us just look closely at the state options, pick the best we can and support our children. That option is available to all.

Snoodleberry · 11/02/2023 22:39

Depending on your household income you might find the fees at Christ's Hospital School in Sussex suitable.

Probably most diverse boarding school in the U.K. with apparently majority of students on up to 100% bursaries; but you have to be clever or sporty or musical to get in.

Original poster
mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:40

LexMitior · 11/02/2023 22:38

Don't send your children to private school. They will be miserable and so will you. You need plenty of money and a thick skin

Yes...sadly I fear you could be right...

OP posts:
Original poster
mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:40

Snoodleberry · 11/02/2023 22:39

Depending on your household income you might find the fees at Christ's Hospital School in Sussex suitable.

Probably most diverse boarding school in the U.K. with apparently majority of students on up to 100% bursaries; but you have to be clever or sporty or musical to get in.

Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
mumyes · 11/02/2023 22:41

PermanentTemporary · 11/02/2023 22:38

Obviously I know what you mean. Easy to be casual having had no choice but state school and it working out fine in ds's case.

I think most parents in your fortunate situation either apply for a place in a Catholic state school, find a coeducational day private school and sweat it out, or move to a grammar school area and spend a fortune on tutoring.

But most of us just look closely at the state options, pick the best we can and support our children. That option is available to all.

Is your state school good?

I just wish there was a half decent one near us.

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