Any not-posh private schools?!

[mumyes]

Been viewing a few private schools recently and bugger me they're all so fucking posh.

I love the amazing facilities & resources, but they lose me with the excessive snootiness, exclusively wealthy families and when they talk about all the prep schools they're close to.

My DC is at a (lovely) state primary.

Does such a thing as a nice, moderately academic Indy school where not all the kids are from wealthy families exist?!

But then surely you’re not that hard up either, as you’re also considering it? So you’ll fit right in.

@mumyes if you think about the unnecessary things some people spend money on throughout the year it most certainly is possible.

I read a post the other day which showed the family spent almost £20,000 a year on cigarettes.

I'm telling you from experience these students were not from high income backgrounds. They didn't wear designer clothes, most parents drove cars which were 6+ years old and some didn't even manage to holiday annually. All of these are things many state school children manage to do so they definitely aren't from very wealthy families.

Yes!! Exactly!! This!

Basically, I want a school that filters by families that really CARE about education & kids that are able rather than a school that has to take everyone & therefore often has to just cater solely to the lower denominator.

I think there are plenty of urban, selective, private day schools that are not snooty. They often offer a lot of scholarships and assisted places.

Obviously the middle classes will be over represented but they don’t have a snooty vibe.

DD1 attended two private day schools in our city, both were nice but the least selective was markedly more status orientated and popularity tended to be significantly influenced by looks and money, not just by being a good laugh. The culture was disappointing in that while it was cool enough to be good at sport, being interested in academics or music was to be played down. DD1 had a 30% scholarship there. After GCSEs she moved to the much more selective private day school near the city centre which has more academic prestige. It had a much better culture and far fewer new Range Rovers, Mercs, BMWs and the like parked up on parents evenings. Plenty of normal, professional parents both working and choosing to prioritise education.

I’m not saying rich equals snooty, you get snootiness at all levels, but it was a more diverse, less status orientated place. I felt more comfortable as there was a higher percentage of harried looking parents who didn’t look like they could be TV presenters. 😂

You have King Henry's/Bablake if in that area of South Midlands. Or Solihull and Princethorpe - also South Mids.
Obviously Warwick and Kings High... each of these schools have a huge mix of families. Very far from snooty.

@mumyes I guess this is why it's a shame Blair's government decided to ban the creation of new grammar schools. As that sounds more like what you're looking for - good education, plenty of sports and generally nice students from diverse backgrounds.

My children go to an academic indie that has a high rate of bursaries, I think between 20-30 %. So it's aspirational but with down to earth parents.

We have a range of parents from single incomes on bursaries who buy from the thriving second hand uniform shop and the white Range Rover Rolex types. The middle ground is working professionals with both parents working.

A bigger school will have a more diverse intake and it might be worth asking about bursaries to gauge the range of backgrounds.

I get what you mean though. Some of the parents at our school really do think their children and themselves are something special. We send our children because we want to give them the best WE can afford, an am aware that my children are mostly a direct product of their upbringing which is down to us as parents, and our children's own innate ability and character.

You mean like a grammar school?

The fags thing is clearly extreme example!
And I don't want to be a bitch bit I really think you're a bit of touch.

No overseas holiday, ancient car, modest house in south midlands I reckon costs about £60-70k a year minimum these days.

You aren’t going to out yourself by saying what town you live in or near OP, and unless you do it’s hard to help.

Realistically you have to pay the fees somehow so of course the families have money, but it’s not true all kids at GDST schools are super wealthy - many have parents who work all hours to cover the fees, and never holiday etc. same will be true of quite a lot of local day schools.

if you can’t see that you are either looking in the wrong places, or you aren’t seeing what’s actually in front of you.

So I guess sort that out one way or another.

Yep. But lots of regions don't have them

Given that state secondary schools spend about £7k per annum on each student (and you can see how little that buys) it isn’t realistically going to be possible to run a well-resourced private school for less than £15k per annum or so.

£5k when you were at school would probably equate to about £20k now if you account for 25 years or so of inflation.

Yes, I get that the only options available are to pay 15-20k, but my point is there's a gap in the market.

The state sector has got so utterly shit, and people's incomes are so squeezed, that there is a market for lower cost private, with less than the higher cost private schools offer, but still better than state.

So you want to send your child to private (and presumably have the cash to do so), but object to it mostly being other children in similar financial circumstances? Not really sure what you are looking for. to your original question I would have said yes, plenty of non pretentious schools that center the child. I think mine are in one such school. But based on further comments it sounds like you would find us all quite ‘posh’ simply because we can afford the fees?

So 20-30% on bursaries is better than most, and would give a slightly more rounded feel to things,...a move in the right direction.

Would you be willing to say whereabouts this is?

So you have the option of a state school and supplementing with tutors and enrichment.

I went to a big standard comp but my parents spent what they could afford on books- I had to wear my brother's PE shoes to be able to afford them. My dad sat with me on weekends and evenings. I read the paper and spent most days after school in the local library, reading and doing my homework.

If you can afford a tutor and some online subs, ferry kids to local sports clubs/orchestras, sign them up to summer camps eg wellcome ones and actively seek careers advice and work experience your child will do extremely well.

Northwest England. Fees just under £13k

How do you think that would work? They have to pay for buildings, utilities, teachers, resources, admin, tech support, etc. etc. £5k is less than what state schools get per pupil, so it would cost a lot more than that to even begin to duplicate a state school before you begin to think about upgrades. If you can only afford £5k then send them to the local state school and use the £5k for tutors and sports clubs.

Yes. This is a good option perhaps...

Plenty in Lancashire, Yorkshire and Cumbria.

Thanks

So 20-30% on bursaries is better than most, and would give a slightly more rounded feel to things,...a move in the right direction.

And those bursaries come from where….? The school fees. So the system you describe as “better” must essentially be two tier. I’m not sure that’s what you’re after from
reading your original post….

I think part of what I'm saying is that I want my DC to be around all sorts of kids, from every walk of life, but I want all the kids to want to learn & be heading in a similar direction academically.

I could not give a shit how wealthy or not the parents are - the more mixed the better AFAIC.

There's definitely a type of private school that's not posh and is just about small class sizes etc. I think you need to view a few more.

My kids were at a lovely one (primary) where lots of parents were nurses, policemen, civil servants etc, with two parents working full-time. Quite a lot of only children. Obviously there were wealthy people too but the whole atmosphere was very down to earth.

Eton have 1 in 5 on bursaries. Very down to earth, and excellent facilities, welcome boys from state schools.