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Original poster

Teacher snapped at DD

124 replies

Mybumlooksbig · 15/01/2023 22:53

DD in year 6 at school, she is very quiet and shy.
Her regular class teacher is on maternity leave so the class have had a replacement now since Christmas time. No problems until Friday-
My daughter was struggling to fill in some of her work during a lesson, the teacher noticed she was struggling, came to see what the problem was and said to her in an aggressive tone- "Are you thick or something!?"

DD is devastated beyond words.
I have emailed the head teacher and haven't had a response yet (incident happened on Fri so unsure if emails are monitored over the weekend)

I have been absolutely bubbling with rage since DD returned home from school on Fri.

Never ever been in such a position.. will the head take it seriously?
Aibu to want this teacher dismissed from the school immediately and not to teach my daughter on Monday?

My tummy is in knots over what to do tomorrow.

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 17/01/2023 18:46

Someone once called me thick in the workplace. 15 years ago but I won't forget it. I would want an apology for my child and I would believe them until an alternative explanation was offered. Shouldn't be too hard to find out with a class full of 11 yr olds. Not sure why there's a reaction that it didn't happen. People can be arseholes.

Pumperthepumper · 17/01/2023 18:49

DuffLite · 17/01/2023 18:18

How many more years are you going to shelter your child from anything that makes her feel slightly unhappy?

I knew that post would be deleted 🤣 Mumsnet are sheltering you @DuffLite - you’ll be furious!

Gagaandgag · 17/01/2023 18:53

@Mybumlooksbig hi op have you spoken to school? What is the update

Eyeofthestorm7 · 17/01/2023 18:55

Worked in primary schools for many years and never once heard staff use that sort of negative language. Training/experience makes most people in education very aware of using positive language and how to give support to children who are struggling; that is the usual culture imho. However, perhaps there is a supply teacher/new teacher/just someone who is not respectful to the children who was teaching your DD that day. Agree with everyone else who says to believe her but be calm and rational and hold back judgemental demands until you have the whole context. Hoping it turns out well.

Beachsidesunset · 17/01/2023 18:57

Or ... your daughter exaggerated for maximum effect, and her state over the weekend was the realisation she'd get into trouble when her mom-ster went barging into the school all guns blazing and calling for the teacher's head on a platter?

2bazookas · 17/01/2023 18:58

Are you sure she didn't ask if DD was sick, not thick?

orangegato · 17/01/2023 19:00

Massive overreaction. Get a grip. Teachers used to beat students ffs hurt feelings aren’t nice and complain all you want but dismissed? Fuck me.

surreygirl1987 · 17/01/2023 19:01

Whoah. If true, that's appalling.. but get the facts sorted first so you have more certainty immediate dismissal isn't going to happen, but a formal warning might.

Also, I am concerned that you think the Head would be checking his or her email over the weekend...

Soontobe60 · 17/01/2023 19:01

Mybumlooksbig · 15/01/2023 23:03

Is this the norm of how to speak to primary school children who are struggling?

Show quote history

No, but it’s certainly not a sackable offence.

JarByTheDoor · 17/01/2023 19:02

Caaarrrl · 17/01/2023 18:45

I'm wondering it was all a misunderstanding that the OP blew out of proportion and that is why there is no update.

Even if the DD misunderstood, I think it's important for a quiet, shy Y6 girl (with presumably no significant history of lying) to be given a strong message that if she reports harm from someone, even someone in a position of trust with more power and status than her, it will be taken seriously and pursued as far as necessary. I guess I don't have to explain why I think that. I get that you might want to talk to the kid and ask if there's a chance she misheard or misunderstood, and avoid feeding into their upset, but I hope the level of scepticism that some on this thread have shown would be something those posters would avoid fully communicating to the kid.

Foxywood · 17/01/2023 19:03

Could it have been ‘Are you stuck or something?’

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 17/01/2023 19:06

How did it go? If that's really what she said, I'd be very upset too.
Hope the head responded and investigate. Calling some children thick, as a teacher is unacceptable.

Sherrystrull · 17/01/2023 19:06

A teacher called a child a 'silly sausage' about ten years ago in a classroom next to mine. The child went home and told their parents they were called a 'silly sod'. The teacher had a different accent to the child and the end of the word was missed in general hubbub. It was sorted amicably.

The teacher could have said it but equally it may have been misheard.

Caaarrrl · 17/01/2023 19:13

JarByTheDoor · 17/01/2023 19:02

Even if the DD misunderstood, I think it's important for a quiet, shy Y6 girl (with presumably no significant history of lying) to be given a strong message that if she reports harm from someone, even someone in a position of trust with more power and status than her, it will be taken seriously and pursued as far as necessary. I guess I don't have to explain why I think that. I get that you might want to talk to the kid and ask if there's a chance she misheard or misunderstood, and avoid feeding into their upset, but I hope the level of scepticism that some on this thread have shown would be something those posters would avoid fully communicating to the kid.

Show quote history

Taken seriously, yes. Investigated, by all means. However, the hyperbole and language used by the OP suggested that there has been an enormous over reaction. She wants the teacher sacked immediately without even knowing if this was said to the child or if it was a misunderstanding. I am not suggesting that the child is lying or that the matter should not be investigated.

In my many years of being a primary teacher, I have had parents complaining about things that children had misunderstood, misremembered misreported, or just did not happen at all. I will always investigate though.

coralgeo · 17/01/2023 19:15

Foxywood · 17/01/2023 19:03

Could it have been ‘Are you stuck or something?’

This is far more likely.

I highly doubt the teacher called your DD thick. When you think about the language that has been used now for years to describe childrens' attainment - working towards expectations etc, I can't imagine that a teacher nowadays would even think in terms of a child being "thick"

BunchHarman · 17/01/2023 19:17

Aibu to want this teacher dismissed from the school immediately

Well, considering it’s the teacher’s word against the notoriously unreliable account of a child, I think that will be unlikely.

pocketvenuss · 17/01/2023 19:18

Waiting to hear what the school response is

MrWhippersnapper · 17/01/2023 19:20

No news ?

Justalittlebitduckling · 17/01/2023 19:22

snowtrees · 16/01/2023 00:10

I work within schools and am a parent and a governor. I seriously can not see an adult in a school saying those words. I can see a child interpreting something as that tho.

Agreed. If the teacher said that then it’s outrageous, but it would be very surprising.

Kids lie. Parents think their own kid never lies, but they do. Give your child another chance to tell you exactly what happened, using the exact words the teacher said and give them a chance to change their story if they need to.

dapsnotplimsolls · 17/01/2023 19:22

Update?

Angelicat · 17/01/2023 19:25

If that did happen then of course it’s not acceptable, although I doubt it is a sackable offence.

But surely it’s more likely that the teacher said ‘Can’t you think of something?’ and your daughter misheard?

Kamia · 17/01/2023 19:28

I would go in and speak to the headteacher in person as this is something that needs sorting face to face. Make sure you have all your facts right, did the teacher actually say the exact words or is this what she interpreted it as?
They would investigate and that teacher could potentially lose their job or receive training on how to speak to students.

superdupernova · 17/01/2023 19:30

I had an awful teacher in year 6 and this is exactly the sort of thing she would have said. She used to target the brighter pupils in the class and try to embarrass them in front of everyone if they ever made a mistake.

RalphieRooBear · 17/01/2023 19:31

Interested to see how this went

MissWings · 17/01/2023 19:32

Definitely pursue this. My niece was called a bitch in year 6 by her teacher and it came to light that the TA was in the room and heard it and what my niece said was true as the TA confirmed it. She was no dismissed but had to write a letter of apology. Unbelievable if this actually happened. I hope you get a response and a resolution.

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