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Original poster

Teacher snapped at DD

124 replies

Mybumlooksbig · 15/01/2023 22:53

DD in year 6 at school, she is very quiet and shy.
Her regular class teacher is on maternity leave so the class have had a replacement now since Christmas time. No problems until Friday-
My daughter was struggling to fill in some of her work during a lesson, the teacher noticed she was struggling, came to see what the problem was and said to her in an aggressive tone- "Are you thick or something!?"

DD is devastated beyond words.
I have emailed the head teacher and haven't had a response yet (incident happened on Fri so unsure if emails are monitored over the weekend)

I have been absolutely bubbling with rage since DD returned home from school on Fri.

Never ever been in such a position.. will the head take it seriously?
Aibu to want this teacher dismissed from the school immediately and not to teach my daughter on Monday?

My tummy is in knots over what to do tomorrow.

OP posts:
Nimbostratus100 · 15/01/2023 23:33

It may well be the teacher is from somewhere else, where speaking to a child like this is normal, and just needs to be better informed about the school culture here

saraclara · 15/01/2023 23:49

I missed that you've already emailed the head. And no, they won't be responding over the weekend. This isn't an emergency.

I have been absolutely bubbling with rage since DD returned home from school on Fri.
This is way over the top, and if your DD is seeing you like this, you're not doing her any favours.

Calm down, wait for the response, and then react to it calmly and rationally.

CuntyChopss · 15/01/2023 23:56

I have been absolutely bubbling with rage since DD returned home from school on Fri.
This is way over the top, and if your DD is seeing you like this, you're not doing her any favours.
Agreed. Given she said DDs been a “wreck” all weekend I suspect DD has already adopted OPs hysteria. Teach her some resilience OP, you shouldn’t let her stew over something like this.

keeprunning55 · 15/01/2023 23:59

I really doubt the teacher called your dd thick.
She may have been frustrated at your dd for not understanding the task but I really doubt she used that word.

Deathbyfluffy · 16/01/2023 00:10

YABU expecting a reply over the weekend - teachers need time off too.

snowtrees · 16/01/2023 00:10

I work within schools and am a parent and a governor. I seriously can not see an adult in a school saying those words. I can see a child interpreting something as that tho.

snowtrees · 16/01/2023 00:13

@Mybumlooksbig if your child is reacting like this over one lesson etc I'd really think hard about preparing her for high school. I'm not being cruel but high school is a big step up and only a few months away.

DaVariance · 16/01/2023 00:21

I'll be honest it seems highly unlikely the teacher would have said that.

Sounds like miscommunication

Dahlietta · 16/01/2023 20:03

I am a teacher and unfortunately I agree with @saraclara - it's perfectly possible that this is exactly what the teacher said! Wait and see what the head replied though.

Spanky123 · 17/01/2023 17:27

Exactly this!! If anyone needs to get a grip it's the op.

timetorefresh · 17/01/2023 17:34

I remember telling a kid not to rock back on her seat as it was an accident waiting to happen. Had an official complaint made about me to the head that I'd told the kid she was a mistake. This is probably a similar sort of stupidity

Mumsanetta · 17/01/2023 17:46

I also wouldn’t be happy with this at all. An investigation will hopefully bring clarity on what happened but I would also be inclined to believe a generally serious and truthful child in the first instance. @Mybumlooksbig have you had a response yet? I would follow up if you haven’t.

Not sure why the assumption is that teachers can never be wholly inappropriate or unsuited to the profession or the suggestion that one is awful means that we hate all teachers. As for the pp who said this is why they are all leaving the profession, pretty sure it’s because of pay and lack of funding. It’s such a ridiculous attitude to take and akin to saying all nurses are hated/this is why they are all leaving when someone dares to complain about a terrible nurse.

EasterIsland · 17/01/2023 18:12

Aibu to want this teacher dismissed from the school immediately and not to teach my daughter on Monday?

Yes you are unreasonable.

It’s not something a teacher should ever say, but you don’t know what else had gone on before.

Your best response as a parent is to help your DD to deal with such comments in a proportionate way. Boost her, teach her how to deal with such remarks. She’s going to get worse in her life, and teaching her confidence and resilience, in the face of unreasonable and insulting comments will stand her in good stead.

You're not helping by your overdramatic reaction. It’s disproportionate.

DuffLite · 17/01/2023 18:18

How many more years are you going to shelter your child from anything that makes her feel slightly unhappy?

lollipoprainbow · 17/01/2023 18:23

I'd be utterly livid if I was the OP too.

tinytemper66 · 17/01/2023 18:29

What happened? Did the Head reply?

PictureConsequences · 17/01/2023 18:31

Make appointment to see the Head and say you want to understand what happened as your DD was very upset. Don't make accusations, see what they say.

JarByTheDoor · 17/01/2023 18:37

Glad my parents didn't try to gaslight me when I came home from primary with a similar story. They went to the school about it, and I got an apology (and the teacher, coincidentally or not, left the school that year, so I didn't have to worry about her again). Knowing them, they wouldn't have gone in with an attitude of being 100% sure about exactly what happened, and certainly not yelling and demanding dismissals, but neither did they instantly leap to the assumption that it's so unlikely that a teacher could've possibly said what I reported that I almost certainly misheard or was lying or was giving an inaccurate interpretation for some other reason. At that age it's good to know your parents will have your back when it matters.

Greenfairydust · 17/01/2023 18:42

Some really bizarre replies on this thread and way too many people who simply can't comprehend that there are dodgy people in all professions, including teaching...

OP, if your child is a quiet kid who has always behaved well in a classroom environment and has no history of making things up, you have every right to believe her and take action.

No responsible adult in charge of children should use that sort of language.

''@DuffLite · Today 18:18
How many more years are you going to shelter your child from anything that makes her feel slightly unhappy?''

Pathetic.

noisepack · 17/01/2023 18:42

"devastated beyond words"

This kind of hyperbole is clearly not from the mouth of the child. It's from the op.

IF the teacher called OPs child thick then thats definitely out of order.

But I hate this enormously overdramatised use of words. "devastated beyond words" is more suited to a bereavement of a huge life changing event. And I don't think it's useful or sensible to exacerbate situations with language like this.

Ladybug14 · 17/01/2023 18:43

Any news?

Puppers · 17/01/2023 18:43

DuffLite · 17/01/2023 18:18

How many more years are you going to shelter your child from anything that makes her feel slightly unhappy?

Ridiculous comment.

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 17/01/2023 18:43

Any response from the school @Mybumlooksbig?

Pumperthepumper · 17/01/2023 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Caaarrrl · 17/01/2023 18:45

I'm wondering it was all a misunderstanding that the OP blew out of proportion and that is why there is no update.