So we've chosen to go private for 7+:girls' school or mixed?

[KathG]

Which would you choose and why? (DD is shy ).

I would go for girls school as they concentrate much better on studies without distractions.

Mixed for 7+ as IME girl's schools can be a lot more "cliquey" at that age - the boys seem to stay younger for longer and that gives the girls at least the option of doing the same.

WowOoo's point is very valid for 13+, though

hmm- trouble is I agree with both points, but I need to come off the fence! Any other thoughts please!

Is this a Prep school or all the way through to 16/18 ? Personally prefer mixed for younger ones especially. Girls seem more academically and socially competitive which can be diffused by presence of boys. Certainly easier if you have more than one child, opposite sexes. Some schools are better at drawing children out and they may not necessarily be single sexed.

I would aim mixed prep until 11, then single sex.

I would suggest looking at all the available schools and deciding which school best fits your dd - not whether it is co-ed or single sex specifically, you could miss out on the best school for her if you decide that now before looking at them

I am torn too - my dcs are at a school which is mixed till 11 then girls only - great for my dd but means ds will have to move and i love the school, it is fab for them both at the moment

still, at least i have a few years to see how they develop ...

Girls do better academically in single sex schools while boys do better in mixed. I think girls self esteem is better in single sex. They're less concerned with playing up to the boys and appearance and fitting in with feminine behaviour. Obviously no boys to dominate in subjects considered 'masculine' like maths and science and girls are more likely to excel in these in a single school and less likely to pick feminine options like cooking.. High aspirations also. And any teacher will tell you that most of the disruption in schools comes from a minority of boys who hog teachers attentiong (always exceptiosn but generally true) so none of this to worry about. No worries about boys hogging the playground with football leaving girls on the sidelines also.

After less than positive experiences at single-sex schools DH and I swore blind we'd never send DD to an all-girls school. But she is amazingly happy at a wonderful girls' school! So I would go with AutumnMists suggestion and look at all the schools available and then decide which fits your DD best.

And how old is your daughter now? - matters because the older she is the more you will be able to predict where she'd best belong.

I was always not in favour of single-sex schools - really didn't much like my own all-girls early education - but seeing my own dd at a mixed school (where girls were minority) just not noticing the boys and pining after the mass company of little girls (you could see how she loved it at ballet, eg), I moved her this year, at start of Yr 2, to an all-girls' school, where she simply took off. I thought she'd like it, but never guessed she would be so MUCH in her element. (I wish I could post her school photo, the madly sparkling eyes are quite hilarious)

Just to note - dd is really pretty outgoing, but her class has got shy characters in it too, and everybody seems equally happy (and mutually happy - it's a very non-cliquey class, and the teachers & parents & girls are all very proud of "everyone plays with everyone"). So it's a nice school/class anyway - and on that point, I agree with those who said look at all the options & choose the one that is the best fit for your individual child.

She is 6 1/2 and we have looked at both... dd prefers the girls' school but not sure if she has read to many books about girls' schools!

So she's year 2 now. Hmm. Fun quiz follows.

? Does she adore Sylvanians (and/or Kitty-in-my-Pocket/Puppy-in-my-Pocket/Littlest Pet Shop)?

? Does she like to talk about the Tooth Fairy, and food which is yummy, and hair?

? Does she notice other people's handwriting/drawings and like to congratulate them if they are specially good?

If all of the above at age 6, then a girls' school will suit.

Does she have brothers? If she doesn't have brothers then you need to consider the fact that she may miss out on the social contact with boys. When we first went to uni, it was very clear which girls has attended single-sex schools. I'm not saying they were naughty but they were giggly around the boys and a few found the whole communal living thing a bit weird.

You need to just make a decision based on her personality. I'm sure almost every 6 or 7yr old would choose single-sex if they could. They very much look down on the boys at that age.

likes worst witch, pet shop, anything to do with construction (large or small scale) or maths puzzles starting chess, swimming, athletics and ballet - never believed in the tooth fairy, hair yes, not other people's writing.... doesn't quite fit bink's list.

LOL Bink - my DD would get a big tick for all of those. She has an incredibly retentive memory for the varied hair bobble adornments of all of the girls in her class.

I think another issue is whether you have a DS. I have got one of each, so DD gets a fair amount of male company. She is generally unfazed by willies and is reasonably good at a bit of physical argy bargy if required - also has a passable knowledge of Star Wars and lego. On that basis I would be more relaxed about an all girls school.

I do, however, worry about the creeping "genderisation" of small children, and if I only had girls I think I would not be happy about her being at a single sex school.

Mine are at a mixed school and my gut feeling is that for them that is the best. (They will probably go single sex after 11, but that is more a function of the choices available).

my 3 dds are at mixed schools. we chose on the basis of the school as we looked at both mixed and single sex. i did have a strong preference for mixed if other things were equal because of the general being around boys stuff that they miss by not having brothers but not a strong enough preference to not have considered the good girls schools in our area.

Mrs W, rumour has it that your DD's are at the same school as my DCs now (or at least the senior school where they are at prep).

We must engineer an opportunity for a chat

would love to meet up - where are you based?

We're in Chislehurst.

ok - our weekend paths don't obviously cross then. are you city based during the week? if you are do you fancy a starbucks assignation? my office is off fleet street but i've got plenty of excuses to roam around the city.

That sounds a great idea! I'm in the office Tue/Weds/Thurs so a City lunch would be fab.

I'll CAT you!

Up to you, visit prospective schools, chat to Head Teacher. Pros and Cons to both. happy chosing

We chose all girls for dd at 7+. She had been at a mixed school previously. But my main reason for choosing the school was academic - dd is v.bright (I know, shoot me) and was getting bored.

That said, she loves it. She is now 9 and not especially girly, never into ballet or barbies. Loves climbing trees, doing puzzles and reading about science. But her friends are all sorts of types, so just check out schools individually. A good school will have a mix of personalities, whether it's highly selective or not.

Also, dd has 2 older brothers and 1 younger, so I'm not woried about that gauche giggly thing around boys which can happen with over cloistered girls.

It depends on the girl and it depends on the school.

My DD loves her all-girl's day school which is academically selective. But then again she is clever and sporty and bumptious and brattish.

The atmosphere can get a bit poisonous and viperish. It's nothing to do with the school, that is really really good. Girls just seem to argue with one another all the time. I can never keep track with who is talking to whom. DD is under firm instructions to talk to everybody and not join in with silly arguments, and you know, I think she mostly does as she is told.

I do think quieter and more reserved girls might really struggle in an environment like that. I did see one leaving at the end of last year - seemed to struggle a bit.

thanks all,its really helpful to see the arguments I have been having in my head on the screen and keep them coming! She has a younger DS, has always had some boys as friends at school so far and is a summer birthday.

Mrs Wobble - I was wondering where you were the other day as you had not popped up to save us with your good common sense on a recent working mothers thread.

Can I persuade you to meet up for a coffee or drink or something

I am so not far from Fleet Street (nor is Issymum)