So we've chosen to go private for 7+:girls' school or mixed?

[KathG]

Which would you choose and why? (DD is shy ).

Hi Anchovy - consider me persuaded. next week is not good but after that is better. do you want to suggest something?

Thanks for all the help so far.... I think thanks to MN we are coming to a decision. Another Q: how many girls in a class is too few?

mixed all the way through imo. girls schools are notoriously cliquey and bitchy. i should know i went to one

We have chosen girl's school for DD, right from primary. Single sex schools, esp for girls at secondary level, tend to outperform co-ed and boy's schools.

if i had a girl in the future i would definitely send her to a mixed school. i no they say girl's schools do better single sex but imo academic results are nothing compared to a child's happiness. i loved my all girl's school up until year about the age of 13/14. then started all the cliqueyness, the cool kids versus the losers, the cool girls arguing amongst theirselves, the leaving the less cool girls of their group out all the time then involving them if one of the preferred girls was busy, the bitchiness and the bullying (although they were clever enough to not make it look like bullying). if you were secure about yourself it was fine, if you weren't you were screwed and no one knows at the age of 7 or 8 whether their child is going to secure about themself when they are a teenager. it can't be coincidence that 4 girls in my year attempted suicide, quite a few got into drugs, 1 got expelled for stealing to fuel that drug habit, 4 decided they were lesbians (out of rebellion more than actually being attracted to girls i think) and many more also went off the rails.

i thought it may just have been my particular school but a friend at a nearby girl's school reported similar things.

mixed for primary. single sex for secondary. this is for boys and girls.

nappyaddict - guess it might just be certain schools though. All the reports we have from girls who have recently been through the high school we hope DD will go to are very positive. And the comments from the co-ed one not so good.

i expect my old school gets excellent comments too ... they are hardly going to boast about the things that i just mentioned.

i personally think single sex schools often do better academically is cos they are usually selective and therefore have high achieving pupils. and if you have a clever child they are going to do well wherever they are. ironically it is the low achievers that would probably benefit more from single sex education.

nppyaddicts - I meant reports/comments from girls who have recently left the school or still there. We know of a fair few through other friends. They certainly haven't come up with anything worse than what occured in the co-ed state school I went to that's for sure.

"if you have a clever child they are going to do well wherever they are"

Sorry, I don't actually believe this fully - from my experiences of teaching. I have seen far too many bright children not reach their potential because of the school environment they were in.

they may not reach their full potential but it is going to be the difference of say getting say 9 As as opposed to 8As and a A*. also it is down to the individual. i think i would have done much better at a mixed school just because i would have been happier.

i wrote an essay on single sex and mixed education last year. i have a couple of good links that make interesting reading. here and here

he'll be at boarding school from the age of 11 so will only have to deal with the odd few hours at a weekend

oops wrong thread.

You see I think I would have been the opposite. I went to a mixed school and I really think I would have been happier in single sex, for quite a few reasons.

Guess it depends on the individual child and the school.

did you go to a mixed private or a mixed state school though? i think i would have only been happy at a mixed private school or mixed very good state school. god i sound so snobby

I went to a mixed not-so-great state school. I think I just could ahve done with some time away from boys at school- I was surrounded by them in my family (all cousins/brother were boys!) and neighbours. Plus other reasns too.

KathG - in answer to your specific question about no. of girls in class - we had a very illustrative experience with dd at her mixed school. She'd been put up a year (she's October, so not that much younger than the usual youngest in a year - but it meant she was with children who were in some cases more than a year older) and came into a class of around 20, 15 boys & 5 girls. 3 of the girls were a year or so older and made a queen-bees gang - the bare fact of there being 3 of them fostering a rather tense & exclusive dynamic - real instance of "three's a crowd". I was quite glad dd was sort of automatically excluded from that by being so much younger.

Just 1 little girl was near dd in age. She was a nice wee girl, and dd was did not massively mind being her sole, constant companion and partner for an entire school year - but you could see how dd just pined after group-games and variety.

So, I would say as blunt distillation of our experience: a situation where your daughter has 3 or fewer potential girl playmates is going to produce "issues".

Bink - you have given the example that I am really worried about - she is young both in year and maturity as far as girliness is concerned - hence mixed school preference but then thats exactly the ratio I'm expecting! arrgh!

Find out what the ratio is. dc's school was traditionally boys but became mixed some time ago in ds' year it is less than 40:60 g to b but in dd's it is 50:50. dd is one of the youngest in her year and spends more time playing with the less boisterous boys than girls ! She still gets to indulge her girlier side with ballet etc.

You need to find out exactly how many girls would be in her class - DS's class had 2 (which worked), then 3 (which didn't), now 4 (which does, largely because #4 is a sociable peacemaker and refuses to form "exclusive" friendships) and will be 5 or 6 next term (but then the class will be split, leaving 1 class as 50% girls(good), and one as 100% boys (bad) just to be more confusing)

Thank you all for your help - we have finally chosen the mixed school.

I am not sure we collectively helped so much as we confused and contradicted - but glad you have chosen and I hope your DD enjoys it and makes lots of new friends of both genders!

My dd is in a mixed junior school (state, actually) and as far as I can see the presence of boys is beneficial; it provides a little relief from the very intense, emotional relationships that 7-12 yo girls indulge in. With the boys she can enjoy a more casual joking conversation because they don't (as yet) care as much about each other.