DS told Nursery Mummy and Daddy hit each other...

[namechange22345]

Just that! I have been called in yesterday to discuss the 'incident' where Mummy and Daddy hit each other. We definitely don't and I was mortified! The manager wasn't very reassuring and said that it may have to be a referral for early help?! I've spoken with DC who just says 'but you do hit each other though' and we don't!! He's 3, 4 in Feb. I'm so worried this will lead to a safeguarding issue or even Social Services. I'm beside myself with worry now. Does anyone have any experiences/ words of wisdom?

@namechange22345
@tearsandtiaras is referring to the Reducing Parental Conflict Programme. This is not the same as safeguarding. It’s designed to stop arguments descending into DA which does harm children. Your description is not that and, in my view, not safeguarding. I would try and resolve conflict quietly though. The government clearly says some level of arguing and conflict is a normal part of everyday life. So suggesting low level arguing is a safeguarding issue is going too far. The EY placement should probably keep an eye on it though. Hence DS needs to understand that words must be the truth.

Oh, this reminds me of the time my D's filled out a booklet in the first weeks of reception about his life. He wrote at least 3 times that we don't let him have food.

😂. I was very excited to have my first parent teacher meeting until I read her reception book which described how 'mummy doesn't make my breakfast as she doesn't care'.

We'd be trying to teach her to independently pour out her own cereal.

I was mortified.

My daughter told her school that I had ordered and brought her a baby brother. That he didn’t have the same mummy and daddy and I had paid a woman for him - and it was huge sums of money and it was a secret. And he was black and coming from a long way away.

🤷‍♀️😜
I was called to a meeting with the headteacher as she was a very articulate and able 7 year old and explained that …..
yes we were getting a new family member, yes he was a boy, with a different mummy and daddy, yes we had paid for him and yes we were driving 50 miles to get him and that ……

he had 4 legs, a tail and was covered in fur, she even had got her friends going home saying similar

😂

Tierzofffizz i was referring to no such programme 🤣🤣

My DC is adopted and had witnessed serious DV in his birth family. When he was placed with us it was soon obvious he was triggered to panic by the slightest physical conflict between adults, even in fun like pretend wrestling over the TV remote or something. I guess we don't always realise how big an impression it makes on young DC and how they try to rationalise it in their young minds. It's not deliberately misrepresenting but they have a simple world view.

I'ts awkward but really better that teachers/SS follow these things up because some of them will be for real and serious.

Yes you're right @NotMeNoNo. I work in a GP surgery and often click a patients name and it flags as a safeguarding concern. I don't want this for my DC as it's obviously not the case. Just don't want a mark in the book I suppose

I'd be inclined to think he is referring to the butt slaps or do you swat each other, with magazines or anything in play?

@Notanotherwindow I mean, in a jokey way yes probably. For instance, tries to take a slice of my pizza and I'll swat his hand sort of thing

Yeah so it could be that. Kids aren't always that clear on context.

My cousin said mummy kicked him in the face and knocked his tooth out once. Actually what happened was he was running around the house, having been told umpteen times not to, slipped on the floor and fell, banging his face on my aunts knee and dislodging a wobbly baby tooth. I was there and saw the whole thing.

@tearsandtiaras
in that case you need to read about it. It’s vital to understand the difference between the standard differences of opinion most parents encounter and DV. There is a difference and a judgement has to be made between standard family life and a family with potentially serious issues. The Op surely falls into the former category and in my experience it won’t be a safeguarding issue. I do of course recognise DV is of serious concern and does affect children adversely. Hence the government trying to avert such escalation in the home.

Tierzeofizz the fact you are still referring to it as domestic violence says it all about your knowledge. Anyone who works professionally with DA wouldn't have referred to it as that since April 21.

OP please don't take any advice from that person, it is incorrect. They are trying to pretend they are coming from a place of knowledge

So what if I got a term wrong!? At least I knew about the government initiative. Such ludicrous nitpicking. Don’t worry op, common sense will prevail and the safeguarding stazi won’t gobble you up!

My mum got called into school once as my sister told the teacher she hadn't changed her pyjamas for 6 months 😂

Thank you @TizerorFizz I appreciate it. I'm such an anxious person as it is without this looming over me!

Oh no!🙈