Is helping with homework a new thing?

[LittleBiscuits]

Excuse me if this sounds ignorant but I only have preschool kids so haven't gone through this yet

I've recently seen on here various comments and other comments from colleagues about needing to devote a fair amount of time to helping kids with their homework as a standard part of parents' daily routine (I'm assuming primary school age to preteens/early teens).

But when I was younger (90s and early noughties) I never got help with my homework - I just got on with it. I'm not sure my friends did either. But from these comments I get the sense that it's normal to sit down with your kids and do their homework with them. Obviously I get that SEN kids (or really young kids) might benefit from additional support but otherwise I didn't really realise this was a thing. Am I wrong?

I was not raised in the UK so maybe that's the difference? Or possibly younger kids are just getting more homework now?

I thought one issue is parents don't under the homework of today, and end up going off in a huff saying 'it wasn't done like that in my day!" Whilst the child tries to calm them down. Bit of a turn up for the books!

Another example - when my son was in year 5 (age 9) they had to do a history project in October half term - research the Victorians and write about one aspect (education or health or industry etc). The teachers said they wanted it to be all their own work, which was unrealistic because at the very least they needed help to choose books from the library or search the internet to find appropriate information, and my son didn't even know what a "project" was because he'd never seen one before. There's no way he would have got anything down on paper if left to his own devices - he hated extended writing if he couldn't easily rub out mistakes, and he wasn't into drawing pictures. So instead we used it as an opportunity to learn how to use the computer - he used Microsoft Word, and learnt how to do fancy fonts, and copy in pictures, and add page numbers and a contentd page, which was much more fun and interesting for him. He learnt more 'ICT' from me in that week than in the whole of his time in primary school (and probably learnt a little bit about the Victorians too). His teacher was a bit snooty about the end result, but it was worth it.

I didn't get help with homework and I didn't help much. I tried a couple of times but both got irritable. Left them to muddle along.

My parents had to help me with homework, listen to me read etc in primary school. Less involved in secondary school beyond buying supplies for DT projects etc. I was at school in the 2000s.

I got help if I asked for it as a kid. Less so in secondary school, very rare in fact. I didn’t need reminders. My kids are in primary so I see what they’re up to and offer help, it’s definitely something they need guidance on

I didn't get help for anything except reading during infant school.

Using my 6 yo DS' homework as an example, we have reading, spelling and some maths/English/science task to do. Reading, he does daily but I have to listen and ask a few comprehension questions. Spelling, he does most days, but I have to check them/test him. Tasks will depend on what's being asked, but often he'll need help either setting it up or explaining stuff.

You can imagine that fulfilling even the basic level of homework set can take time out of your day, until they become more independent (Primary plus imo)

I’m pretty old and we had homework in the 60s at primary school. I read to my parents, did maths and English snd the dreaded 11 plus questions! My mum helped me. I’ve helped my DC when necessary. Starting with reading, writing, tables and number bonds, spelling, writing, and small research projects. DDs liked them but lots of DC didn’t. We made nothing! That’s not necessary in my view and our schools didn’t set that type of homework.

At secondary: mine boarded so I didn’t help. By then they had the necessary skills to get on with it. No more than 1 hour a night in y7. More at weekends. Set time to do it and it was supervised. We did, however, always take them to places they were learning about if we could. We tried to enhance their learning. When they were young they handled money, measures cooking ingredients, did colouring etc. Not exactly homework, but it all helps.

I had a lot of homework every day in primary school in Ireland during the 70s, and of course that only increased in secondary school. Initially it was a certain amount of time spent reading to a parent, there were spelling tests to study for, then we had arithmetic tables to learn, and after age 7 we had comprehension questions nightly based on selections from the Wide Range Readers, grammar, maths, handwriting practice, the occasional poem or story to compose, questions on history and geography, maps, and I remember a project or two (trees and their leaves, a report on a country, an animal of your choice, making a model of an Iron Age dwelling)...

My DCs got homework too - initially reading aloud, then pieces of writing, answering questions from their readers, maths, grammar, model of a log home associated with Little House on the Prairie, endless book reports - several every month, dioramas, dictionary searches, different kinds of writing, and cursive handwriting practice in 3rd grade. Around age 11-12 they had to produce essays in history.

I used to have them all sit down at the end of the afternoon and do it after they had played for a while, and if anyone had a question I was ready to help. I tried to tread a fine line between being available and actually getting involved. They all went through a spell of forgetting vital textbooks but luckily we had a school directory and could phone and have exercises dictated over the phone or could send someone to get a book from a classmate. Others used to phone us for help with forgotten books too, or to clarify instructions.

DC1 just started year 7. There is a letter to parents about homework expectations. We are supposed to make sure they do the work and complete them in a reasonable time. In reality it means we have to help some of the subjects a little to complete them.

In infant school, you are asked to listen to them read and read to them. Later you need to do spelling with them (you need to read the words out).

It is not a lot of effort.

In primary school, the early years are more intensive as they start to read.
I remember the flash cards of mine and my brothers youth, they were traumatic! I remember a couple of occasions when my IT mad dad would encourage me/make me type up work rather than hand it in on scrap pieces of paper and an couple of bigger projects/course work I had help with. I also remember sobbing around the table over times tables ( I still don't know them).
I don't help secondary school kids with homework unless they ask and I don't remind them to do it because they are old enough for it to be their responsibility.
I do hell the younger one though with the reading and sounds/spellings, I will pull back on my involvement on the ridiculous large projects they send out at half term though. It's obvious when the parents have done it, I'm not creative, I hate doing them and I have no time anyway.

My eldest (Y6) has had homework since reception. Never loads (certainly less than some schools I know), but for large stretches of time he hated it and didn't find it at all easy, so it was v time-consuming and exhausting.

The past few years he's needed less and less help (right down to nothing except support with spellings practice so far this year). He does still need me to prompt him into working out when he'll schedule it in over the weekend, and then I also need to keep his younger sibling out of his hair while he does it, and dish out sympathy when he's frazzled.

I was born in the late 1980s. I didn't have homework until Y6, at which point I felt v ready and enthusiastic. I don't recall my mum generally helping at all (although I may just not have noticed or appreciated her keeping my younger sibling away!). I was very academically able and conscientious though so perhaps I just didn't need it.

I do think homework in primary school is pretty stupid, but I try to balance that against the need to support kids' schoolwork. I'd rather they could spend their weekends relaxing, playing, and learning other stuff (swimming, reading, museums, music, walks, day trips...). I'm a single parent with a full time job and I feel like our time together is scarce and I don't want it to involve squabbling over worksheets when there are infinitely more valuable and less stressful learning opportunities open to such young children!

To be honest I assume my DD's homework is often the teachers just trying to assess which parents give a crap.

'Help' can mean a lot of different things though.

My ds is 14, he's just starting nuclear fission and his homework this week was to do a poster, on something about nuclear power. That's a huge subject and he was a bit 😮, didn't know where to start, so I suggested a couple of poster ideas. He chose one and then got on with it by himself.

It doesn't mean you do it for them.

My father spent a lot of time with me on homework. I didn't grow up in the UK either so amount of homework/tests/exams may be different.

But yes, in particular around exams he spent hours and hours testing me on stuff and going through things like vocabulary for languages and just generally helping me prepare. I actually credit a lot of my success at school and subsequently to his support. He was a retired university professor by the time I was in secondary school so obviously had the natural aptitude and skills for teaching me, too.

We strongly suspect that DS is dyslexic (pushing for an assessment at the moment) so he absolutely needs my help as he can’t read the instructions and needs me to spell out every word. Thankfully most of the time reading is the only homework.

Always had homework as a child and my kids do too. My parents used to explain stuff I didn’t understand and always just look over my homework before I took it back. Ever since they were little when my kids come back from school we have done ‘something’ vaguely educational together. Not a worksheet but just something. Could be a little game, could be writing out the dinner ‘menu’ on a sheet of paper, just something. That has now set a habit that they come in, have a snack and have some downtime, finish their homework while either DH and I are on the table with our laptops as well, so we can help. DS1 is nearly 11 and he has a lot more but DS2’s ‘homework’ has never taken more than 5-10 minutes so we will listen to him read as well and maybe do one other thing.

To me learning isn’t a chore or a burden. And everything is learning- learning to ride a bike or learning to swim for my child with cerebral palsy is much harder than doing his maths homework. Frankly the latter is more ‘fun’ for him than his daily physio. But he has to do his exercises! I couldn’t as a parent say, oh god how can I get away with doing the least amount of physio for him?

I do think that if you're competent and confident at helping your child then it is equivalent to them having a free tutor who is always on call. I have never paid for tutors for my boys but have guided them in looking things up themselves, and they've done well - ds1 has just started at a top flight uni.

@MiniCooperLover same here. Just started year 7, never had homework, so it's all a new thing. This has been the first week he's had to complete homework for a few subjects, and it was difficult (not the homework per say but the actual sit down to do the work 😂).
I did sit with him, I know if I leave him to it at this stage it'll be a disaster.
Hopeful as the year goes on he gets into the habit of completing homework without making it sound like a huge task (but then again some teachers do expect a lot in a short time - my opinion!)

I didn't get a lot of help, mum was WFH back in the 80/90s, and so didn't have a lot of time to help (worked long hours). I received some help cheated when it came to textiles and my mum completed the project for me 😁 friends were impressed as was the teacher! (Side note: it was a small year 8 project that didn't count towards anything so didn't matter what standard it was at)

I would be very unhappy with continual craft projects. At primary age, homework should be focussed on the curriculum in terms of language, maths etc. Doing a craft project to enhance measuring might be ok but the rest of it doesn’t do much. Better to do craft in free time. My DD1 actually had minimal homework from y3-y6 and lots of parents thought it didn’t help when y7 came along. Some shocks yo the system! So doing little and often makes more sense.

I think a bit of help for very young kids e.g. early years of primary school, is normal and helpful. By late primary/early secondary, I would expect kids to be able to do it independently, unless there are SEN etc that makes that difficult. I don't think parents help their kids at all by babying them. Or worse, doing their homework for them!

I guess it depends on the child. We did have the children read to us when learning to read and we did help testing their spellings. Anything else they did themselves right through school because it is their homework. However we did have a house rule (occasionally broken for specific reasons) that it was in from home and homework done. Then they could do whatever they wanted after. Saved all the hassle of trying to get them to get it done last minute I used to hear friends complain of.

My year 4 child has suspected SEN so in order to get the homework done I have to sit down to keep him on task with it but I don’t do it for him. It takes about an hour, possibly 90 minutes, spread across the weekend. Then there is also daily reading. It’s always a challenge to get it done and I wish he just had reading and times tables like I used to at primary school.

DD needed a lot of help during reception and year1. This year she needs less help because she can start to read and understand what the hw actually asks for.

The only help I gave my three DDs was listening to them read during the early years as they were learning. Sometimes a little bit of writing practice too.

Once they were reliably reading and writing by themselves I didn't do much. They did it on their own. Two were very academic and went on to university, one is more practical and not academic, but perfectly capable.

I never got help with homework in high school but my daughter has just started high school and she's got a piece of homework every night not including an extra piece from English. I have to help my daughter 1 because she doesn't concentrate for long and 2 the homework is a lot harder than it was back then. She's got homework from maths that she's never done or heard of before so had to take an hour to go through it with her.