Has your 3 or 4 year old failed a private school assessment?

[ladymuck]

Tedious background:
We hope to get a place at either our nearest state school, or one that is about 4th nearest. However we are adamant that we don't want ds to go to the "default" school should he not get into either of these, and hence have looked at the local private schools.

He's just been accepted at a non-selective mixed school. Only downside is that the majority of the children will have spent a year there already in a nursery class with a further 3 (incl ds) joining next September.

Our preferred private option is a boys only. When we viewed the school we were told that by registering we were practically guaranteed a place - only 1 or 2 children each year were refused, generally because of their behaviours (the head referred to "weeding out the biters"). This message was re-enforced at an open day we also attended. Speaking to other parents at the school however, they have been told different facts (eg they select 36 out of 50 or 60). I'm wondering whether in fact the school do offer more places knowing that some parents will turn them down if their other plans crystalise.

Ds1's assessment is in January, and we will be provided more details closer to the time. We now seem to be in some doubt as to how "selective" this school is?! Given we would hope to get into the state schools anyway, I'm just wondering whether we have to pay the deposit for the non-selective private school, as if we were offered, we would also have to pay for the boys school in February; we won't find out about the state schools until April/May.

For those who have got this far, I'd be interested to hear your experiences!

Wish us luck. We have our first reception assessment tomorrow. Have told dd that we're going to visit a "big girl school" where we'll look around to see what we think. We'll then meet the teacher, dd will go off and talk to her/play with her a bit on her own while I wait. Then I'll collect her, and we'll come home. Nervewracking, and I hope I don't transmit my nervousness to dd. Any tips from mums experienced in this process would be much appreciated.

This thread seems to have died, so I may be just talking to myself, but thought I would report back anyway.

DD's first assessment was this morning. We arrived in plenty of time, said hello to the registrar and then waited for the others to arrive. DD was in a group of 4 children. We were all taken to the school library where the mums were supposed to leave the kids with the head of the lower school. One little boy completely fell apart and wouldn't let go of his mum's leg. Eventually, they decided to leave and try another day (good for the school for giving him a second chance). DD wobbled for a moment, but the teacher engaged her in an activity, and I kissed her goodbye and left.

After about an hour, the children and teachers came to where we were waiting. DD was lively and happy. She told me all about what they'd done (drew pictures, cut something out with scissors, listened to a story and talked about it after, etc.). She seemed to have been comfortable with everything she was asked to do. Evidently one of the other children actually left the group during the assessment, and laid down on the floor away from everyone else. He must have had enough!

As I've said before, this is a such a nervewracking and competitive process, but I feel much better now that we've "got one under our belt". This school will see 180 children for 60 places. Approximately half of the available places will go to siblings, so there are really only 30 places on offer.

More than anything else, I was proud of dd for rising to the occasion. We've got 2 more assessments in early Feb, and then will have to make a decision. I am not nearly so anxious about things now, though it's easy to get caught up in the thinking that a significant part of your child's future is being determined at such an early stage. I've accepted the fact that we will get offers (or not) from places that could be right for dd, and that anywhere that doesn't offer her a place isn't right for us anyway.

Glad your dd took to it Earlybird. Good luck !

Glad it went ok. The assessments DD had weren't quite so formal (we were applying for the odd spare reception place at schools who fill their classes with kids from their own nurseries) but I know she enjoyed them.

Earlybird, I did mean to wish you luck before, I'm sorry. I was talking to a colleague last night whose daughter's also going through this at the moment & realising it's the first time that anyone point-blank "judges" a child - a big deal, whether it's positive or negative.

Completely agree with your last sentence.

Thanks for the words of encouragement and support. Should have a letter from the school in about 10 days, so will post and let you know what happens. In the meantime, there's the small matter of two more assessments in early Feb........