Has your 3 or 4 year old failed a private school assessment?

[ladymuck]

Tedious background:
We hope to get a place at either our nearest state school, or one that is about 4th nearest. However we are adamant that we don't want ds to go to the "default" school should he not get into either of these, and hence have looked at the local private schools.

He's just been accepted at a non-selective mixed school. Only downside is that the majority of the children will have spent a year there already in a nursery class with a further 3 (incl ds) joining next September.

Our preferred private option is a boys only. When we viewed the school we were told that by registering we were practically guaranteed a place - only 1 or 2 children each year were refused, generally because of their behaviours (the head referred to "weeding out the biters"). This message was re-enforced at an open day we also attended. Speaking to other parents at the school however, they have been told different facts (eg they select 36 out of 50 or 60). I'm wondering whether in fact the school do offer more places knowing that some parents will turn them down if their other plans crystalise.

Ds1's assessment is in January, and we will be provided more details closer to the time. We now seem to be in some doubt as to how "selective" this school is?! Given we would hope to get into the state schools anyway, I'm just wondering whether we have to pay the deposit for the non-selective private school, as if we were offered, we would also have to pay for the boys school in February; we won't find out about the state schools until April/May.

For those who have got this far, I'd be interested to hear your experiences!

Hey ho, at least we have a better idea of what we're dealing with. 50 boys for 36 places, with the boys being assessed on settling in, taking turns and sharing, concentration, listening to a story, being able to toilet independently and playground skills.

No idea how ds1 will have done other than although he was as bright as a penny we arrived, he definitely wanted to go home with me (so he'll fail the "settling in" I guess). He was fine when he was able to tell one of the teachers all about a hole in our floor though.

Couldn't believe how many adults came along though - 1 boy had 4 adults with him (and it was fairly clear that we dropped them off and picked them up 2 hours later).

Still they apparently send out letters next week, and ds1 enjoyed himself and wanted to go back (I was actually worried in case he hated it, but still got a place!)

Good luck ladymuck. I hope you hear sooner rather than later. After a nail biting couple of weeks ds finally got an offer from the school, but it was horrible in the meantime. They still haven't met dd yet, we have to visit a term or so before they are due to start, and I'm worried that she'll go all temperamental and uncooperative and they'll rescind the offer at the last minute. There is no way she'd let me leave her with a stranger for 2 hours without a great deal of fuss so well done to your ds for doing so and am glad he enjoyed himself whatever the eventual outcome.

Fingers crossed for you.

Good luck ladymuck! Hope it all works out OK for you.

Here's another person sending you and your son good vibes Ladymuck. DD is due to have 3 assessments between now and mid Feb, so I'm right with you on this one! Let us know how he gets on.

anyone's child ever point blank refused to be tested like ds did yesterday?

SQ

I haven't (DD2 is 5yo and started at the local Primary school in Sept) - but I was thinking to myself after reading this thread "wow, can't imagine DD2 would be happy to be tested". She's stubborn and strong-willed at the best of times, so I would imagine she would probably be one

Thanks for the wishes. The letter arrived this morning, and he's been offered a place (provided we give them £500 by the end of the week, and sign a contract which includes giving permission for them to take biological samples from ds1 to test for drugs).

I think that I am relieved that it wasn't an academic selection as such, they were just testing readiness for school. They didn't even check whether he could recognise his name when getting name badges etc. Ds had come home from the school on Saturday, saying that he wanted to go back "the next day", and when I told him that the school had said that he could go, his reaction was "Good, I really want to go there". Mind you I suspect that he'd happily trotted off to any of the local schools on a similar basis if he had had such a taster opportunity.

DH wants to see what our state school applications give us before finally making up his mind.... He was the one who was originally keen on this school. I have had a few qualms (it's a lot of money, given we live in an area of good primary schools, but this one excels at sport and music) but had come round to this one. Will we ever agree!!!

Eeek, SQ, how awful. But goodness, they must expect this and make allowances...or, as many others have said, if they don't, then who would want their child at such a school (apart from "pushy parents" maybe be Pamina )
How do you know he kept schtumm - did he tell you or did the teacher?

thank you for these messages and good luck everyone else!

he simply refused to go with the teacher to start the assessment! the school were good about it actually - they said it often happens and we will get a chance to give it another go next week - if we want.

i suspect we are in a minority among the parents in that we have only put his name down for this one private school. i got the distinct impression that some of the other kids were assessment veterans. so that will put him at a disadvantage as will the fact that he is among the youngest going forward (july birthday).

we don't want him to go to this school anyway - it's a back up for the excellent, but extremely oversubscribed local state schools!

serves us right, doesn't it?

Blimey, really, re the drugs testing? Is this for a five year old? Seriously?

It's the pre-prep section of a prep school that goes from 4-13, so I'm hoping that it is included with the older boys in mind. But as drafted yes I'd be giving permission for my rising 5 to provide a urine sample.

I am shocked by this testing for drugs thing - have heard about it being brought in around here in at least one private school (but for age 11 +) and there is also a state school in my county implementing this policy. I have to say I would not give permission for a school to test my child for drugs nor to take "biological samples" for any reason.

sq- my friend's ds refused to do an assessment and then asked the head to take him to the toilet to do a poo. He didn't get in, but he did get a place at the fantastic local state primary - which was my friend's first choice anyway. they live near you btw.....

A friend called this morning to tell me to get today's Telegraph as it has an article on this very subject. Headline is "Exam Time For Tearful Toddlers - Do the entrance tests for private primary schools need to be so demanding?" There are some pretty unpleasant anecdotes in the story.

The whole assessment process leaves me feeling anxious. I want to do what's best for dd, but aspects of the system seem so impersonal and judgemental. I wish there was an easier/better way.

Haven't read all the post so apologies if this is mentioned before, I sat the assessments to get into private schools in Edinburgh oh (cough) 34 years ago... I "failed" some and passed two or three, and as a four year old who would be five when I went to school (Scotland remember) was given the choice of where I was to go.

I chose my school, and spent p1-3 there, and moved to another private all girls school when the original one started to take boys in p3. I did feel as I got older that the school that I "failed" the entarence exam for were not my type of school, and that the girls who went there were not my type of people. I stayed at my second school until I left at 18.

Although now as a mummy I would be distaught if my dss failed an enterance exam (not relevant as ds is at local church school) I have to say that maybe they select the children that are best suited to their environment and teaching style. Hope this helps

I think this is the article. How awful to be told that your 3yo is a failure. At that age they are hardly more than babies.

Sick, sick, sick.

How ridiculously pathetic to 'grovel' in person to the school - do parents really think it's so important to get into private school that they'd humiliate themselves in this way? And why do you want your child to go to a school who caves in when you grovel like that, after they've 'failed' your child anyway.

What is the world coming to?

Lockets, my stomach was in my mouth then as I thought 'what the f*k?' was aimed at my message!! Hee hee!!