Has your 3 or 4 year old failed a private school assessment?

[ladymuck]

Tedious background:
We hope to get a place at either our nearest state school, or one that is about 4th nearest. However we are adamant that we don't want ds to go to the "default" school should he not get into either of these, and hence have looked at the local private schools.

He's just been accepted at a non-selective mixed school. Only downside is that the majority of the children will have spent a year there already in a nursery class with a further 3 (incl ds) joining next September.

Our preferred private option is a boys only. When we viewed the school we were told that by registering we were practically guaranteed a place - only 1 or 2 children each year were refused, generally because of their behaviours (the head referred to "weeding out the biters"). This message was re-enforced at an open day we also attended. Speaking to other parents at the school however, they have been told different facts (eg they select 36 out of 50 or 60). I'm wondering whether in fact the school do offer more places knowing that some parents will turn them down if their other plans crystalise.

Ds1's assessment is in January, and we will be provided more details closer to the time. We now seem to be in some doubt as to how "selective" this school is?! Given we would hope to get into the state schools anyway, I'm just wondering whether we have to pay the deposit for the non-selective private school, as if we were offered, we would also have to pay for the boys school in February; we won't find out about the state schools until April/May.

For those who have got this far, I'd be interested to hear your experiences!

My only experience of this is from working in a highly selective IS. I worked in the senior school but knew the admissions staff who dealt with the Junior School. In this particular school, the process was a farce. They put these poor little children through a hellish assessment procedure and EVERYONE got a place.

The you get the smug parents running around telling people as though their child is a genius. Nope, there just were plenty of places which needed to be filled.

Then, the children get automatic entry into the much more selective senior school and the senior school teachers are left dealing with those who aren't as capable, because the Junior School's selection process is a farce (mind you... what can they tell at age 3-4?.

That probably does not help you at all does it? I just don't think I agree with assessing such young children, particularly if the school has ample places for all those who apply.

Good luck with your choice.

I can completely relate and sympathise with these experiences as we are going through it too. Unfortunately the state schools in our area of London are dire, so am grateful to have the option of a fee-paying school.

DD has already been assessed for a non-selective school, and I've been told off the record that a place will be offered. Many other mums in my area are not seriously considering this school as it does not appear in the Good Schools Guide. Who knows if that matters.

DD is due to be assessed for 3 other private selective schools in the new year. All of these schools have many more applicants than spaces, and operate sibling policies which make it even more competitive for the remaining available slots. I am dreading the process as it sounds completely nervewracking. One school in particular sounds extraordinarily demanding as I have been instructed to bring dd to the school on the appointed day where I am to leave her at 8.30 AM (with strict instructions not to arrive before 8.25 AM), and not pick her up until 12 noon.

In more relaxed moments, I shrug my shoulders and think that we will go where we're accepted/wanted! In my more anxious moments, I feel that my precious dd is being judged/categorised and that her future path is being set even now. Like Issymum, I can't believe that her potential is being assessed by strangers when she's not even 4 years old! I have an overwhelming desire to protect her, and see that she is surrounded by people who will nurture/appreciate her for the wonderful person she is.

Hello All,

I really feel for all of you. My DD is only 6 months old so the problem of the school is a problem yet. But it makes me really sad and scared for the future. How can you judge a little kiddie ? How people can decide if your child deserve the right or not to have a good education in a safe school !It's not fair!As parent we want to offer the best to our kids, it shouldn't be a battle.

Hurrah for Issymum's DD1. They can stuff their school.

At least their response was quick. So is the school the non-selective, State or not quite so competitively selective ?! (Just being nosey really)

We're still waiting on ds' results... we should have heard by end Nov and the Admissions Secretary was off today - won't have any nerves left at this rate.

issymum, I went to one of the schools you've mentioned (in the early 80's so a long time ago!) and knew many people from the other (as the schools are geographically so close). I also know a few people who've been trying to get their kids in there now. In my day, they weren't that bothered about the academic side (though I do recall doing some sort of assessment) and I do think that it is ridiculous doing any sort of assessment on any child that age. Personally, I'd rather my child was with children who had many different strengths not only academic.

I do know some parents who have, on the basis of academic results alone, decided not to even consider a school and I'm sure this (and the government's obsession with tests and results) drives these schools even further along this testing route. Which is a shame - because both the schools you talk about have such fantastic facilities and fantastic teachers. I suppose it is hard to know how to 'select' children when you're not a state school. Many of my friends in London are on all sorts of waiting lists and waiting for results of ballots etc.

Anyway, I can't even remember what the point of my post was now (!) but just to say that I'm sorry your poor dd went through that all but I'm pleased you've found a school you're happy with. You've invested a load of time into finding the right school for her which is lovely - I truly believe you can 'feel' which school is right when you go and see it and it sounds like the super-selective one never even felt right when you first saw it. So stuff 'em!

I'm really glad that you have found somewhere where you feel comfortable and your dd's will be happy. Makes the decisons so much easier.

Yes!
Issymum, my 3.5 year old dd1 "failed" the assessment at a sister school to the one your dd applied to. Ironic really as I went there from the age of 5 and passed the assessment! Mind you, in my day you just spent a few hours doing some painting and it was nowhere near as academic as it is now. (same experience as Foxinsocks). Dd's nursery has a 100% record for getting girls into the school but this year I'm not aware of any who have made it through to the second stage. Luckily we are about to move to a new house which is very close to an excellent state primary, so we don't have any tough decisions to make. I'm really glad that you are also happy with your decision. In my mum's words "it's their loss".

Well , we have a letter today and dh had already phoned before I was home to open it. ds hasn't been offered a place but is the one and only on the waiting list. Apparently they have rejected some candidates but his assessment (which was done under different circumstances to the others and therefore not a true LFL comparison) did not fall within the range of those who have been offered, whatever that means. So should any of those offered turn down the place at the end of next week or if any child already in the PrePrep withdraws before the summer, he could still have a place. At least he hasn't been rejected though. But frankly I'm more bewildered than ever.

Will now have to return confirmation of dd's State School place asap, and wait and see - again.

Fingers crossed, LIZS. Sounds quite hopeful.

Issymum, I'm really pleased to hear you've found a school you're happy with - stuff the other one! Lizs, if DS is on the waiting list there is a very good chance he'll get in. Others offered a place might not accept, and there's usually some movement away from the area. DS was no. 60 on a waiting list for one of the schools we've applied to (which accepts based on date of registration) - I don't know where he is now.

Thanks for the support. I'm reasonably optimistic that a place will come up for him but it is the prolonging the agony that is such a pita. Also for ds the transition is going to be hard and we'd like to prepare him for it but can't until we don't know where he will end up, plus the knock on implications for dd.

dh is hoping to have a chat with a friend later whose child is already at the school to see if she knows of possible movement of which the school may yet be unaware.

sorry, should read "can't until we know" ...

Issymum, really pleased you've made up your mind and the school sounds great. BUT....I really don't think that Stupid School turning down your dd means that she isn't acadamic enough. I honestly, truly, think they cannot possibly know that when a child is only THREE. (three FFS!). Yes, she has many other wonderful qualities and of course, academic brilliance is not all-important and no guarantee at all of future happiness...but I really wouldn't accept the verdict of Stupid School as meaning that she isn't also extremely intelligent.

I suspect, maternal pride aside, you are a far better judge of your daughter and her abilities than they are.

Eeek, ds1's "assessment" is tomorrow. Having been fairly relaxed about it, I'm suddenly nervous. I've downplayed it with ds though as I have no idea as to what to expect, and there hasn't been any use in preparing him that much - he's a stubborn little soul (so can't be that different from the other boys!) so coaching him just wouldn't work. Never did work out what the selection bit is though - we've been told orally that it's pretty automatic, but that's not what the prospectus indicates... Have managed to preapre him for a couple of hours away from me in a strange environment, but that is it. Ho hum.

Issysmum, glad to hear that you're happy with your choice. I'll be glad once I know what I'm doing myself.