Private school fees

[muffinhead4]

I have been try to work out if we can afford private school fees for our 2 children in the next few years but after doing sums we could barely manage 1 let alone 2 😔
Before tax we earn approx £100K which is most definitely not enough, this got me thinking how do parents pay for private school for more than 1 child? Am I missing a trick? I know some grandparents help but those that pay them selves how do you do it? What kind of jobs? I am in finance and DH is in training, neither very high up.

3 dc at various privates over the years. No one got a discount for being a past pupil

Before tax we earn approx £100K which is most definitely not enough, this got me thinking how do parents pay for private school for more than 1 child? Am I missing a trick?

The short answer is they earn more than £100K p.a.

Some of the fees here are mind blowing.

We’re in N Ireland and send both kids to a prep school. Fees are £4450 per year per child and DH and I still bitch and moan when the standing order comes out every month.

If you’re earning middling-amounts and spending £15-20k per year for private school for each child… I don’t know if the sacrifices you’d need to make would be worth it.

70k ( post tax ?) minus 40k fees leaves 30k which is not abnormal low for a family income post tax

2k a month in mortgage leaves only 6k or 500 a month for everything else

Many people choose fees or expensive home ( I understand London you get less for your money ) but essentially that's how

I always think that the private school system in England is totally bizarre. I was born in England and I lived there for my early life. I then moved way. Ive lived in Ireland and Spain, and most people just go to state schools there.

When I go back to England I am always shocked by the school system there. No other country in the world is as obsessed with private schools, as England is.

It's snobbery. And more than that, it is just really really weird.

@Mooshamoo it makes me so sad that people limit their family size so that the children can go to private schools. I was educated privately but the greatest joy of my life has been growing up with siblings. I understand some people struggle to have more than one child, but to actively choose that for elite schooling seems so sad.

We afford to send our DD to a private school because we have a household income of over £100k , are older parents ( I was 40 when DD was born) and as we got married and bought our first home 26 years ago we only have a tiny amount outstanding on our mortgage.

We'd only be able to afford a second set of school fees for DS if we did away with one of our cars and stopped all holidays and weekend trips etc and stopped paying for additional tutoring for DD who has some learning difficulties.

Never intended to send any of our DC to private school but DD didn't cope well at state school.

Luckily for us DS is very happy at a state grammar.

Oh it's snobbery is it? Well thanks for voicing your opinion without having a clue what you're talking about.

You don't think there might be a difference in the quality of education perhaps?

If you don't believe private schools offer a better education then you also must agree that underfunding state schools has no detrimental effect on education. So which is it?

Our fee paying days were quite while ago, but a basically my earnings paid the school fees..We had our children later in life , so had savings. Our parents lived in holiday areas in the UK, so we stayed with them rather than go to glamorous places, ran really old cars, chain store clothes, coloured my own hair, had small mortgage, and didn't upgrade our house.

I agree with @Trainfromredhill list. We have 2 in private school, 3rd is only 2 years old. The majority of DDS classmates have parents who own businesses or have extensive property portfolios. There are a few a doctors & dentists and 2 children in the school are the sons of a footballer but, in the main, it’s category 3 for our school.
£100 gross isn’t going to pay 2 children through private school. Do either of you have the chance of promotion within the next couple of years? I’d say move to the best area you can afford and get them into a good state school, pay for as much extra curricular as possible and give them opportunities to experience lots of things out of school.

All the people i know with kids at private school, the fees are either paid by grandparents/family money or they teach at the school so get huge discounts.

*When I go back to England I am always shocked by the school system there. No other country in the world is as obsessed with private schools, as England is.

It's snobbery. And more than that, it is just really really weird*.

I'm not sure it's snobbery, which presumably you mean in terms of looking down on state schools?

Some of our local state schools are excellent academically. Our primary reason for going private was the sports provision in terms of the number of fixtures, facilities and coaching and also the overseas sports tours. My kids also play sport outside of school so it's on top of club/county programmes.

It was a marginal decision for us and I wouldn't have paid the extra money if my kids weren't using the sports, music or drama facilities their school provides. We make a point of not sharing that our kids are at private school so it's not about bragging rights for us. Frankly, being at a private school is also a disadvantage for Uni admissions.

Of course private school is snobbery. It is set up to be that way. And it doesn't just differentiate people at school, it differentiates people for the rest of their lives. As an adult, I have met several people who went to private school - who think that they are better than everyone else.

One example. I was working as an English teacher in Spain. One of the other teachers - was a man who had been to a private school in England.

He was the only person there that talked about what school he went to. Nobody else talked about what school they went to, as nobody cares - when you are in your thirties.

He looked down his nose at all of us. On a night out, he said to me "you know , one of the reasons that I like teaching in Spain, is that I get to mix with people from lower social classes, that I wouldn't get to mix with otherwise".

We all looked at him in shock. It was so unbelievable. But he was absolutely and utterly convinced that he was better than everyone else.

That was in reply to @absolutelyanythingwilldo

Mooshamoo I am Irish but living in the UK, most of my family over there went to private schools and so did their children, they are not wealthy.
currently 7.8% of boys and 5.8% of girls attend private schools in Ireland.
The most expensive school in Ireland is €8,654 per annum and €23,952 for boarding, we were paying more than that in the UK 15 years ago.

Ony 6% of UK children attend private schools.
Most of these pupils in the UK are from families with an income of £300,00 or over.

I know that the Irish place huge importance on academia they are more obsessed than the British with private education.

@Sago1 I know that the Irish place huge importance on academia they are more obsessed than the British with private education. but only for boys huh?

I think your opinion in weird tbh. Education is a product like any other. You pay more, you get more. It's like pondering why anyone would buy a nice car over a crappy one or organic free range over battery. Why would people who could afford it not pay for better education and facilities??it seems like the absolute best thing to invest in.

Id say that you need to be earning at least four or five times the fees to have it not be a strain. I know people who can’t afford holidays or a new car & think private education is massively important. It really isn’t if you are very restricted & it’s at the expense of all else.

This!

@deedledeedledum Perhaps one reason they won't is because their children will be discriminated against by Uni admissions system?

They won't be discriminated against, the extra benefit of their education is taken into account when assessing how good they really are

@Mooshamoo I'm sure it might be snobbery for some but definitely not for most people. In fact, I know multiple families who use both state and private for different children depending on what suits / where they can get in etc.

I think for most parents its just about giving your children the best education you can and its a shame the system works this way. Ideally state education would be so terrific that no one would feel there was any benefit in going private but there clearly is on may fronts.

Getting into the best state schools is equally as expensive. You just pay via house prices. Its sometimes cheaper to go private than buy into the catchment of the most sought after state schools.

@Sago1 that is not true at all that Ireland is obsessed with private education. I lived in Ireland all through my school years.

Most people went to state schools. I lived for many many years in Ireland, I know thousands of people in Ireland. I have only met two Irish people that went to private school. It is not a common thing to do. As you said later on in your post - only 5% of children go to private school in Ireland.

@deedledeedledum you said that people who can afford it, should be of course pay for a better education.

But I could argue that education is a fundamental human right, and the same level of education should be available to everyone. Right?

If rich people are allowed to pay for better education for their children, their children get better opportunities. It keeps rich people rich and it keeps poor people poor. It is a cruel system. And it is not just about school, it defines you for the rest of your lives. Private school people stick together , long after school is over. I have definitely experienced private school educated people look down their nose at me. It is a cruel system.

I would say it’s just earning more. We do it out of savings and salary. I am a Director in my own company so can draw up to £50k and I pay about £3k tax on that.

DH is on about £65k net. So our net income is £115k. I’m able to draw money to put into my pension separately from my business. DH of course pays into his pension pre-tax.

of the £115 - £27k is the fees.

that leaves us c£7k net a month. Our mortgage is very low.

we are early 40s.