Should this child be expelled?

[cba]

Sorry if this is long.

There is a long running problem of a boy in our school. He is a year one boy and to date he as been responsible for the following:

1. pushing my ds1 over and kicking him in the face when he tried to get up.

1. pushed a boy down some concrete steps.

1. kicked another boy in the head several times on differect occasions.

1. held a pair of scissors to a girls throat.

1. disrupts class and kicks teacher.

1. pushed ds2 over, he now has a black eye and the school didnt even phone me to let me know.

When this boy kicked my ds1 in the face he got excluded for one afternoon.

I did not find out that this boy had done the eye injury to my ds2 until today when i have had a good chat with him and another boy who was there.

In what circumstances, if any, would a boy of this nature be allowed to stay in a school?

I am going to have serious words with the school on Monday as everyday all you hear is children moaning and being afraid of x.

He is a very volatile boy and I cannot understand why he is allowed to stay in school.

On the other hand I can see by his behaviour that he needs help and do not participate in any school yard gossip.

Please give advice on what to say to school as I dont want to come across as being unreasonable.

This is an independent school so I suspect they do not have to adhere to strict guidlines as state schools do.

Thanks

There is no reason why any child should have to put up with violence in school. "He hits people because he's autistic" is as poor an excuse as "He hits people because he likes hitting people."

Sure, the way the hitter is dealt with will be different in the two cases, but that doesn't matter to the target, who just doesn't want to be hit and doesn't care why the hitter is doing it.

So my inclination would be to go to the school and say "My son is being attacked. I insist that you stop this happening instantly."

I agree hulababy- kicking a child in the face and holding scissors at the throat are very serious assaults even for a six year old
If we are to assume that the child in question has SN, the protection of the other children is paramount and the school is remiss if not dealing with this as a matter of urgency, not to mention setting out support for the child in question to deal with his obvious problems with anger management.

I agree with MB, I think this is more the pattern it takes AFAIK
Also agree with those posters who think the School needs to address your concerns about the safety of other children, in the context of what should be done to support the child who is causing concern. He needs to be better supervised
I would definitely start with the class teacher

I don't think that anyone is suggesting that any child should have to put up with being hit in class.

But if the child has particular special needs, there are different ways of dealing with the situation to prevent the outbursts.
I think that you would be right to go to the school and demand that the situation was rectified. But that would not necessarily mean expulsion of the child in question.

TBH no child deserves to be in a classroom where this is happening. He is a health and safety risk. By the sounds of things he's going to SERIOUSLY hurt someone and probably in the not too distant future. He is 6. Think of him at 9, 11, 14...
Special needs or not if he is likely to explode for whatever reason, unprovoked or not he should not be in a mainstream school at all.
I don't think you should have to put up with this at all but you are, presumably paying for the priviledge of you son being assaulted, let the school know you are not happy, they're providing a service, they want to keep the majority of their customers happy.

Better yet start a petition with other parents stating that unless the situation is rectified all the undersigned will seriously consider educating their children elsewhere.

Think long and hard bfeore starting a petition.

have a word with the staff first and see what happens.

My son isn't himself in lessons at the moment. He isn't as disruptive as the boy mentioned, but there have been odd incidents. The reason is that his father is dying of cancer, and he is 7 and having problems coming to terms with it.

You don't know what else might be going on in this child's life.

Ask for re-assurance that the situation is being delt with before starting 'petitions'. the family may have enough to cope with already.

what an awful suggestion belladonna, start a petition?!

your comments make my blood run cold.

this is a Year 1 boy. at that age they are still learning to socialise. i know lots of 6 year old boys who are prone to agressive behaviour.

Yes they are learning to socialise, yes they can be prone to aggressive behaviour but holding scissors to another child's neck!?!?! that is dangerous in the extreme, what if had slipped, what if the child had struggled, it could have been a horrible situation.
And the petiton would only be to rectify the situation, not expell the child, just take the necessary action to stop him being a very real danger to dozens of other children.

But why start with a petition?

Why not just have a chat with the head , and ask what will be done to resolve the issue.

To go in with a petition, without having explored other options first, is an over reaction at best and smacks of a clique at worst.

The school will no doubt be aware of how unhappy parents are about this - things will have been said at parent evening, in passing.

There was something similiar at DS school although boy was older. It was awful but he was asked to leave.

You need to see your HM straight away. Express your concerns and ask how it will be dealt with and ensure similiar does not happen again.

Any self respecting inedependent school will ask him to leave if his behaviour does not change

BUT

be careful...because unless you are there you cannot be sure what has happened and if there was any provocation - from anyone - beforehand.

oh Belladonna's back. Petition- PMSL

This needs sorting obviously- go an see the head and explain your concerns. I doubt they will discuss the child (they can't- and they shouldn't) so don't aks them to- just state your concerns.

A petition would just make you look petty and childish.

To come back to something said earlier - 'he hits because he's autistic' isn't an excuse it's a reason. It's then up to the adults to understand why and act on that- not just say 'well it's not acceptable'. Dear god.

But regardless of the reason he still hits doesn't he...
Why should other children be subjected to his violence?
He clearly has problems and he needs help with them but there is no reason why other children should be hurt.
I never suggested starting with a petition, I thought the OP had already spoken to teachers. If speaking to the teachers didn't work a petition might. I know of a boy who was in yr 4 so a little older but he had ADHD, Aspergers and clearly a few additional 'issues' of some sort, he ended up knocking a reception girl out after repeatedly smashing her head against the tarmac, he was hauled off her ASAP but in the 20-30 secs before the staff arrived she had already suffered a skull fracture. Thankfully she was ok but after this instance the majority of parents signed a petiton stating if he wasn't removed from classes and playtimes then they would pull their children out of the school. It worked.

I can't see anything in the OP that says that she has already spoken to the staff. In fact, at one point she says @I don't want to go into school and make things worse'

IMO a pettition would be totaly over the top. talk to the staff First, and see what happens.

No-one is sugesting that the situation is statisfactory, or that other children should have to put up with dangerous behaviour.

Hi everyone, thanks for your comments.

I wnet into school this morning and had a word with ds2 form teacher, she said she was unable to comment and would i like to see head.

I went to see head and explained how i felt about the attack on ds2 and how concerned i am due to the fact that both my children have received actual injuries causing cuts and bruises in unprovoked attacks by this boy.

I was very honest with him and explained that i was unhappy and wanted to know what he was doing to help this boy and also to protect the well being and safety of all the other children.

My friend has a child in this boys class and my sons friend had told her that he had physically attached the teacher on friday kicking her.

The head was very good and said understood my concerns. The head explained that he has been suspended again and would not be back for four weeks. This isnt due to the suspension but due to some intensive therapy he is receiving.

Dut to experiences in his very early life he is undergoing intensive therapy to correct his behaviour. When this therapy finishes he will be allowed back to school on the understanding that if one incidents occurs then he will be asked to leave the school.

The head said the parents are fully aware of this and agree.

On the other hand i do really feel for this little boy as he must have received very harsh treatment for him to behave in this way and to have to receive such intensive therapy that keeps him off school for four weeks.

I also said to the head that upon his return if he has a couple of good weeks I would not mind inviting mum and son round for some tea which may help him with his social skills, but obviously stay with them at all times.

I agree that a conversation with the Head may be/ have been necessary. However, I'm concerned that there has been a series of violent incidents. This would indicate to me that the initial incident was not dealt with adequately by the school - hence the child has felt able to continue with his violent behaviour.

I don't want to jump to conclusions as to whether or not this child has SEN or not. In anycase, it is the behaviour which is at issue here, not the individual.

My gut feeling on this one is to advise you to move schools. The school is either ignorant as to what is going on in their school (worrying), or is not prepared to take action, for whatever reason (equally worrying). I tend to think that it is the latter, as I would envisage that the parents of the other victims of this child would have already raised the issue with the school.

CBa, I'm glad that you have had a resolution.

I think that yor comment about inviting the boy round to play after he has finished the therapy could be a very positive thing to do.

I can't go into details, for all sorts of reasons, but I have worked with children who's early home life is horrific beyond belief. Obviosuly it can have a profound and lasting effect.

I'm glad this little boy is getting some help.

yes martian, i think his home life has been horrific hence the therapy for his behviour. Although he is displaying violence tendencies then this would indicate what he himself has been subjected to, I feel really sorry for him.

If he dosent get the help and support he needs now what life will he have?

The head did say he is doing fantastic in his therapy.

I hope he comes out the other side and proves to those people who are not as nice sometimes wrong.

Think my post crossed with yours! Well, it seems as if you are making progress!

sometimes these children can have attachement disorder

I'm just glad he is getting intensive help.

Seem too many kids not get the help they need , with disasterous consequences for them.

martian, just read your link, think you may have hit it on the head there. One of the causes listed is applicable to him without spelling it out if you know what i mean.

Hope his therapy does go well.

cba- sounds like you did all the right things & I hope it can be resolved. I know a couple of children with attachment disorders and it does make life very difficult. Would be lovely if you could invite into your home (supervise very carefully though- I don't mean that in a nasty way- just that it needs to be done - to be fair on the children as well).

Perhaps the boy should have been better supervised Belladonna. TBH I find your views on A'/ASD offensive and ignorant in the extreme (oh I forgot you have a sister's friend's brother who knows all about it) so will ignore.

Hi cba, I am so glad you have some helpful answers as to what has been happening at school, it sounds as though they are doing their utmost with the parents and the therapist to help this little lad. They've been frank with you, which is great.
I do hope he continues to make progress and you end up being able to have that playdate and I hope the other parents are being as positive as you are about the process to turn this boy's life around.
That link made for eye-openingly sad reading mb, I did not know much about Attachment Disorder until I read it, thanks for the info .

I work with a child who shows similar behaviours within the classroom, although we have very good stratergies in place, contant concerns from other parents does not help. And other than you DD telling the teacher correctly of an incedent, there is not much that can be done, well within a state school.