Anyone else find school sports day traumatic?

[Wishiwasonholiday11]

Just had school sports day. All quite nicely done with a range of events etc. Son in year 2 not particularly sporty, tries really hard, but just can’t run fast enough. He’s holding it together and putting a brave face on, but can tell (from the other side if the field) he’s upset.

Not helped by medal winning children (same ones winning most events!) flaunting medals.

I know it’s life, can’t be good at everything, need to celebrate successes and good for building resilience etc etc but just finding it hard to watch!

However I will say I don’t agree that ‘just grinning and bearing it’ is an important lesson for young kids to learn. I wouldn’t force my kid to be in a play either - I mean why would I? Would you want to get up in front of an audience and play Hamlet despite knowing you have no acting ability? I wouldn’t. There’s little to be gained from it.

I think confidence is built by being given all the right tools and put in a place where you can and will succeed. Not being set up in a no-win situation and told to smile as you lose.

Well in fairness I disagree with that either. Personally I’ve never been at a school with compulsory concerts - I don’t imagine it’s as common as sports day. But I wouldn’t see the point of forcing children to perform music or acting in front of an audience when they don’t want to. I think that is a waste of time. Teaching music and drama is wonderful. Forcing kids to perform when they don’t want to is the one sure way to suck any joy they had out of the arts. But as I said I’ve never heard of compulsory drama performances and I do imagine it’s not very common.

No one will excuse your lack of control over your emotions.

I wouldn't say it was traumatic but it was easily the least fun day of the school year for me. Sports day at my school was horrible, strictly athletics events like 1000m running and long jump.

In year 6 I decided to take back control. Rather than run the 1000m race I did walking pace from the start. My teacher was livid, for me this act of disobedience was 100% worth it.

Perhaps.

And, as ever, there's a balance.

The opposite problem is that you set up kids for an 'only win' situation. I think one of the things that young adults, in particular, can struggle with when they leave school and even University is that they haven't had to do things they don't want to do.

And again, smiling when you lose is important. Because you get through it and learn to brush it off. I guess I'm just saying that developing a bit of resilience goes along way.

What about nativity plays, Christmas concerts, class assemblies etc. My kids have these things all the time. My child finds it hard but copes. If it was as traumatic as some describe sports day I suppose I’d look at ways of her not doing it

I'll disengage because I genuinely have no idea what you're blathering about.

You're like a drunkard swinging haymakers at closing time.

all the students of the school, the teachers, ancillary stuff, AND 300+ parents
Where in earth do those figures come from? 300+ parents.
I went to sports day with my friend a few weeks ago to watch her grand daughter there was about 50 parents absolute max. The whole school wasn't there just two or may be three years. Tbe other years had theres at a different time. Some teachers were still teaching.

It was like that when my kids wenr to school and also when I had sports days and I grew up in a different part if the country.
We dont get that sort of turn out for play offs for our ice hockey team!!🤣

Lola, I understand your point about the trauma of sports day but the quote below and all the swearing undermines everything you’re saying. Do you not see that the comment below is awful?? ’They may have done well in sport, but their English comprehension and critical thinking is at zero.’

I just about managed to grapple with the nuanced complexity of your point. The fact that Sports Day is an observed activity makes it traumatic in a way that no other element in school is.

Thank you for your contribution.

Wow this thread went down the plughole fast

In my school kids audition for the nativity. I don’t think they’ve ever had a school assembly or concert where they compete a talent in front of everyone all through primary and now into secondary. They do have a Christmas ‘talent show’ but they come round and ask kids to sign up to it. So it’s a choice.

I don’t think we’ll come to an agreement though because we have basically different ideas on what resilience is and how it’s built. I don’t think resilience is ever ever built by being put in a situation where you feel humiliated and unprepared in a public space. And it’s not the ‘snowflake generation’ or ‘win win situations.’ It’s giving the child the tools to succeed. Obviously if my son loses a karate comp (which of course happens) I help him be resilient by supporting him that he’s done his best and you can’t do more, what can he improve on, he should be proud to be out there. However, he’s practiced and ready. I wouldn’t throw him into a swimming competition and expect him to ‘be resilient’ because smiling while out of your depth and uncomfortable isn’t resilience it’s just submission.

Even the example of job interviews - I go prepared to interviews I’m suitable for. I wouldn’t walk in off the street to interview for an engineer’s job. You can be resilient when you’ve got the tools and can put in a good show. Not when you’re set up in front of everyone to do something you know from the off that you’ll fail in.

😂

I haven’t talked about resilience and agree it should be options! Just pointing out other things are equally hard - auditioning for nativity plays- I can’t imagine my five year old doing an audition. They just get told they are a mouse etc

My kids infants didn’t do a nativity. They had a Christmas party. We’re in quite a multicultural area though, even the upper school just do a play/Christmas show rather than a proper ‘nativity.’ But it’s only the kids who want to. The other kids can also sign up for other jobs. I think it works a lot better and (contrary to other people’s what about the real world nonsense) mirrors real life much better. In real life we do the job we know how to/want to do! We don’t have a day where someone suddenly makes us be a nurse or a Sainsburys worker.

And I know you didn’t say anything about resilience, I was answering other posts.

Agree.

As you say, we all work out how to develop character in our kids.

I'm interested in this thread because having three boys, my wife and I often talk about our middle child, who is less sporty than his older brother. Already he is starting to shy away from sport but I know that's because he can't beat his brother and he's making an association that the only value he can take from sport is in winning. So, for us, Sports Day is actually a great way of trying to instill in him that competition is, in and of itself, a good thing and that pushing himself and trying his best is a great thing. Obviously, if he absolutely hated it with every molecule of his being, we'd find away from him just to muddle through and try and laugh it off. Perhaps that's a little 'old school', but I think it has it's time and place. I am acutely aware of the balance though.

Also, as we've seen on this thread, I think a certain number of people that deride Sports Day are actually hyper competitive and simply don't see value in anything that their kids can't win.

Complete opposite at my dc’s school. My girls are athletic, belong to an athletics club
and feel very disheartened running with bean bags on their heads and crawling through hula hoops. They put in a lot of effort into training and it seems like one big joke on sports days with these types of races.