Anyone else find school sports day traumatic?

[Wishiwasonholiday11]

Just had school sports day. All quite nicely done with a range of events etc. Son in year 2 not particularly sporty, tries really hard, but just can’t run fast enough. He’s holding it together and putting a brave face on, but can tell (from the other side if the field) he’s upset.

Not helped by medal winning children (same ones winning most events!) flaunting medals.

I know it’s life, can’t be good at everything, need to celebrate successes and good for building resilience etc etc but just finding it hard to watch!

So much hand wringing and encouraging kids to back off from challenge.

They need to learn how to deal with normal human emotions such as disappointment, embarrassment, failure, losing, pressure, winning, sportsmanship, empathy, kindness, confidence - all of which sports day can assist in developing.

Can’t whinge ‘it’s not fair’ after failing multiple job interviews in the future - life often presents challenge and school should be a safe space to develop resilience - which often means failing/trying again.

I regularly do, couldn’t care less that I’m not good at running. I was desperately shy when I was young and hated sports in general because of it but I obviously grew out of it and luckily not ‘scarred for life’ 😱

I was sporty and won everything so didn’t bother me but dd1 youngest in year very self conscious and competitive - terrible combination for sports day. She hated it so year 2 we binned it and we read our books at home. She likes sport now as an older teen but found her (team) sport. Doing athletics in public of no value to her. She hated all the awww bless she came last etc from the other mums.

That’s very bizarre behaviour from the other mums.

Aha!

The plot thickens.

So you used to always win. Could I humbly suggest that perhaps it's you who has inadvertently suggested that winning is the important thing?

I honestly think they should get rid of sports day. When i was in secondary school i was really sporty and top of my P.E class in every sport. During sports day my form tutor put so much pressure on me to win most events that it sucked the life out of me. It wasn't fun anymore and i hated it every year.
One year i was so overcome with anxiety that i didnt go into school that day and my mum wrote me a sick note. The next day i handed my sick note to my form tutor who said in front of the whole class "i don't believe this sick note". I said " that's fine". He said "what did you say?". The class bully repeated "she said 'thats fine'". The tutor shouted at me and said "if you're sick then go home!". I regret not walking out and going home, but i just calmly sat down at my desk and died inside.

I hate any event that means I have to spend 3 hours at school making small talk

Ok.

That I do agree with.

Oh come on, sports day isn't "abusive"
If your kids really hate it that much keep them off school, don't ruin it for the ones that enjoy it!

Mine always loved it, never won a thing, always last but treated it as a good laugh and a chance to get out of the classroom!

Me! It’s awful - dread every year for the poor kids who are always rubbish

I’m afraid I disagree completely. I agree 100% that kids shouldn’t be closed off to sports but I disagree totally that the way to open them to sports is to force them to compete in front of all their peers and parents in something they’re poor at. I actually think nothing could close you off to sports more than being made to compete in front of everyone in something you’re not confident in.

On balance I’d say let the kids who want to compete do it - let them enjoy it and recognise their skills. Other kids should be able to do something else that focuses on fitness and well being

So why shouldn’t we do it with other things? Perhaps we could invite everyone to watch a mental maths contest that every single child must compete in? Even kids who really struggle with times tables have to stand up in front of everyone and try their best to recite the 6 times table? You know, to build resilience.

I didn’t have an easy childhood at all, I had a very difficult one actually. Just because worse things happened to me doesn’t mean I have to automatically agree with everything else.

I do understand the point you are making, and I am sympathetic to it.

Perhaps I could phrase it another way. One of the things I am trying to teach my boys, and this is certainly ‘within reason’, is to not give a shit about what other people say about them. I really do think that learning to fail is a critical part of education. Again, fully understand that if a child is absolutely terrified of Sports Day, then perhaps it’s best they avoid it. But if they are that terrified, then there’s a bigger problem to be solved. You can obviously tell them it doesn’t matter, but they’ll just get confronted with something a few years down the line that they can’t get out of.

Maybe the ones who find it “ traumatic“ have parents that tell them it’s traumatic. I was one of those kids who couldn’t run fast, but every year did go in few events, not because I would win but to get a house point. We were taught that spot is for all. but I’m still not very interested interested in it now, but not scarred for life by taking part.
This was in Australia. So may be different.

I would prefer a sporty day. Those that want run the races. Kids like mine swim, do yoga, dance, sponsored walk etc etc

I agree that the competitive parts of sports day should be optional but Sports is part of the curriculum and not an extra thing that should be done in free time. School is not just about academic success- I very much disagree with this

I agree- make it optional but don’t remove it! It may be a waste of time for you but not for others! Should we remove all non academic events?!