Pros and cons/ if leaving Day school for Eton

[pasok1000]

We thought journey time (ds in westminster under) is a big factor and we thought whether to go to Eton, as it would be boarding and less time travelling etc. Ds would like to board. I feel now would would actually Eton add, in addition to saving in travelling time. More clubs/societies, international recognition? Thank you

Have you been for a visit? What did you think? It's almost impossible to compare an unnamed day school to Eton, apart from the boarding element which is obviously not for everyone. Even if your son is keen on boarding has he tried it at all? What year is he in and is he registered before the end of Y5?

Also if you're at Westminster under what does your head say? Part of what you're paying for is senior school guidance, kids are different at school so I would take their advice seriously.

Westminster under, head says he is happy at westminster and perhaps continue there

This is going to sound flippant but have you seen the type of men who have been to Eton?

Obviously they are not all like our current PM but there are certainly some er, well I'd think closely.

@pasok1000, if your DS wants to board, why not board at Westminster? That could be a good solution, especially as he's already at WU and the head thinks the Great School would be a great fit for him.

in the last year or so, I think the reputation of being an Etonian has taken a real
hammering. In 99% of circles (especially professionally) it can be viewed as a millstone. The world is becoming a lot more liberal and the shadow cast by being an Etonian is a long one. Socially still lots of cache there if you mix already with Etonians et al.
There are a hundred other schools that will give your son everything he can access at Eton without becoming an Etonian. Think carefully if it’s right for your son. If it is , great. If it isn’t, that’s cool too.

Well unless you've gone off the Great School, boys can board there, some go home weekends, some change their minds and stop/start boarding, it's flexible. Why on earth would you go to Eton where if your boy changes his mind, he'll have to leave? The WUS boys that go to Eton tend to be KSs or have family reasons. Mostly because WGS is so much better in lots of ways, so have you gone off WGS, in which case have a look at Win Coll, too?

"This is going to sound flippant but have you seen the type of men who have been to Eton?"

I have, but have you?

In fact, I've been involved with many Etonians and people involved with Eton for over 20 years. How many Etonians have you actually met? Have you been anywhere near within 10 miles of Eton? Do you know where it is?

Same questions for leftandaright.

@nightvision

I can see you fitting in very well with Etonians, past and present, it shows in your attitude.

Yes I do know where it is, well where most of it is, as you know it's not a campus school.

Yes I come from a world where socially many friends went to Eton.
Socially i love them dearly but I also work professionally and being too public school
these days isn’t a Good Thing. Etonians stick out more than most. They are unfailingly polite but often come across as a bit ‘rahhhh’.
There’s more and more stigma to it [public school esp Eton] . Your CV conjures up a stereotype and thirty years ago it got you somewhere but now I’m inclined to think it might hold you back (in some spheres of work).

leftandright-Could you name these 100 schools that would give a boy everything Eton can without the "stigma" of going to Eton?

It’s a figure of speech but there are many many schools that offer the specifics that might suit someone’s son at Eton. Put it another way, what is it at Eton that cannot be found anywhere else (bar the superficialities)?
i am not saying Eton isn’t wonderful only that there is undoubtedly a stigma in 2022 to confessing you went to Eton. People do pre judge as I am doing right now - and that’s a hurdle Etonians face in many walks of life these days.

No other school has the range of outside speakers that Eton has,the chances to network,get work experience etc etc,the performing arts ,music etc are at a level that other non specialist schools dont reach. its the sheer breadth of experience that no other school can match, its the all round package,other schools might hold their own in individual areas,but as a offering across everything from academics to sport then it has no equal I presume those arent what you call""superficialities"?
"Confess",seriously..you think boys confess they go to Eton? I suggest you try and talk to some present day Etonians,none I know would confess,they'd tell you happily they go to Eton,they know the reality of the school .
Its not right for every boy and clearly there are circumstances where say Winchester or Westminster would be better for an individual boy,but no other school offers the range of experiences open to its pupils.

As someone who's met plenty, I fibd it quite amusing that you seem to think anyone with that impression of old Etonians can't possibly have met many, @nightvision .

@nolanscrack
your reply perfectly illustrates the millstone that the outside world would see hanging around an Etonian’s neck. The fact that these boys can’t see it themselves is a little worrying. The world is changing.
Has changed…..
And not in the favour of boys who went to Eton.

It’s not that the school doesn’t offer a billion amazing things. It’s does. But then so do lots of other schools.
But Eton is the ultimate symbol of privilege and elitism and it’s not a badge of honour that it perhaps once was. It’s a much more meritocratic society and Etonians, more than anyone, have to prove they fit in once they’ve left their privileged confines where absurd opportunity was handed to them on a plate around every corner.

OP, to answer your question:

Pros:

• more sports facilities than Westminster


• less pollution than Westminster


• more land to run about on than Westminster


• less academic than Westminster (may be a pro if your son struggles with Westminster pace?)


• prestigious internationally (though in UK it is now less prestigious than Westminster).


• loss of his current prep school friends


• silly outdated uniform which deliberately aims to promote an ethos of being better than ‘the common man’


• normalisation and promotion of elitism


• promotes an obsession with pursuing political careers instead of eg encouraging the next Bill Gates


• stigma / reputation for producing elitist uncaring selfish types


• less academic than Westminster (if your son is bright)


• not in the heart of London with access to all that offers, which for a teenager ia a big thing.

My son is currently at a prep outside London and I would love him to attend Westminster senior school. I would not allow him to attend Eton in a zillion years. A certain type of family chooses Eton and I don’t want my son growing up with their attitudes.

Every year a number of the Westminster Under boys go to Eton. Varies between 5-10. Why not speak to some of the parents of those boys? Or seek out those from previous years.
On Mumsnet you will invariably get some Eton hating and shaming. Blame the current government for that, not the school.
A school cannot make the character of a child nor their background. A 13 year old has already formed their character to a large extent.
My nephew is at Eton, he is a lovely boy and very happy. I have met a number of his friends and they are all sensitive, polite and intelligent boys. Definitely not show offs or any of the cliches touted about Eton on Mumsnet. In fact, they are not too different than my son’s friends who go to the local grammar school.
A nice child will find nice friends. I looked around Eton with my nephew years ago and was pleasantly surprised. It is a shame we could not afford it for our boys, but I would not be worried to send them there if I could. It has a certain Hogwart magic about it, which I really liked. I think a confident, independent child could have the most amazing time there.

Abuildingetc....Far too sensible a post,doubtless someone with no knowledge of what the school is actually like will be along in a while to tell you how wrong you are..

@nightvision I've met plenty of Etonians and I would never send a child there. Not if they paid me to. Hope that helps!

@leftandaright All posts from nolanscrack are like that. They only post to sing Eton's praises. You'd think if it's so wonderful, there'd be no need...

Quite!

This is a good list, although I'd perhaps add that the prestige associated with any public school (including Westminster) is less than it was in the UK. So I'd choose a school based on what you actually want rather than how you think other people might perceive it.

He could board at Westminster if travel time is a problem, and that would also leave open the possibility of day if boarding didn't suit him. What does DS think? What do you think about co-ed sixth form?

Eton's facilities really are second to none, so especially if he is sporty do take that into account.

In terms of personality types, both schools have a range of pupils, same as every other school, and within that there are lovely people and horrible ones.That said, I'm an OW and IME it's a school in which a huge amount of weight is put on being clever, both academically and in the sense being quick and sharp (or a clever dick, you might put it less generously). This suits some boys very well but I think works less well for others- it's not a place you'd want to be bottom of the class. I believe Eton is perhaps a bit more balanced than this and tends to place value on a range of things- so you could be bottom of the class but a great sportsman and that would be a perfectly fine thing to be. If you have any doubts about his academic ability, Eton might be a better option (although from what you say, it doesn't sound as if you have any doubts).

Should add that I don't agree with the last para of the post I quoted but I do agree with the pros and cons.

I’d carefully consider the Eton stigma.

To be fair, the men I’ve known who’ve gone to Eton are lovely. Truly well mannered in the sense that they are thoughtful, considerate and respectful to everyone I’ve seen them deal with. No airs, no graces. Nothing like the characters.

However, Eton in the popular imagination is a straw man to punch at. I’m not sure it is fair to saddle a child with that for life. Also, internally there seems to be a crisis of confidence where the current head has thrown off enlightenment thinking and has dived down the woke rabbit hole.