Mixed sex senior schools - experiences

[ButerrnutSquash]

Hi I wonder if anyone could help me
Our DD is currently happy and doing well in an all girls through independent, however due to our financial situation we were over the moon when she passed her Bexley test and has accepted a place at a mixed grammar. However I am now getting very worried about moving her after reading about the sexism / abuse girls can be subjected to in mixed sex schools. I wondered if those of you who have children in mixed sex schools if what I’m reading about is genuinely a problem or am I reading articles that have been sensationalised ? The school we are thinking about is chis and Sid in sidcup if anyone has any experience of this school in particular.

I agree that the 'bitchy girl' stereotype is annoying. DD was at an all girls school and there was very little bitchiness at all.

What really winds me up is the suggestion that all girls schools are bitchy but when these girls are mixed with boys that bitchiness miraculously disappears.

Re Girls doing Physics. I can't comment on Cambridge, but DS is doing Physics at Oxford and there are next to no girls at all. So the current approach isn't working.

what makes you think they’re not prepared for the ‘real world’ ? I find that a bit of an odd statement. And boys do actually settle down from mid teens onwards. They don’t just ‘upset’ the girls they make it difficult to learn which is a real problem.
perhaps you could share the statistics regarding single/mixed sex schools and self harm/ anorexia? I’m pretty sure they’re a real problem in all schools. Around 1 in 6 self harm so it’s widespread, less recognised in males because they show different behaviours…

@BungleandGeorge I agree

Have you spoken to the school about funding options. There are grants available specifically for families where, due to financial issues, they are no longer able to keep their child at an independent school.

"The "bitchy girls" stereotype is tired, dated and pretty offensive."

But oh so accurate!

I went to mixed sex. Thank god, I'd have never lasted at an all girls' school. I think mixed sex waters down the least desirable behaviours of both boys and girls, which can only be a good thing.

As someone who has never fitted in (I am ND) the behaviour of the girls imo was far worse and damaging to me than anything the boys did. There was one very nasty comment that a boy made to me that I still remember (and god knows why the teacher did not pull him up on that, it was a horrendous thing to say) but I have many many more incidents burned into my memory of behaviour intending to exclude and hurt, and bullying that came mainly from the girls. I do think on MN there seems to be a weird belief that all girls are somehow saintly and can do no wrong and boys are horrible nasty predators! Both boys and girls can not be very nice....children can be pretty fucking horrible when left to their own devices.

I think the PP who said that single sex girls' schools can encourage fetishisation and putting boys on a pedestal is correct. When I was at school we merged with a girls' school. I remember the day we went as a mixed sex group to visit , you could literally hear a scream of "booooys" as we walked into the grounds! I thought that was both weird and very cringy as a teen! As a adult, I wonder whether that sort of environment encourages a healthy relationship with the opposite sex.

And I know one person who had an ED - they went to a single sex school. The assertion that mixed sex schools are the cause of EDs is rubbish.

Here are many stories on here about women that couldn't talk to men as young women after going to single sex but everyone is different.

Socially it's prob fine for very outgoing girls but for very shy girls I see it as detrimental to social skills Which lets face it are just as important in life as good grades.

It's all so anecdotal. I've seen no evidence that the presence of boys affects the ability of girls to learn. At my DC's mixed (selective - don't know if that makes a difference) school, girls get approximately 66% of the academic prizes and there is a similar split between sciences/arts. Well over half of the Oxford and Cambridge offers go to girls and many of these are science subjects.

Girls outperform boys at our local mixed school and both sexes seem to have generally decent mental health outcomes. At our local all boys there is a slightly misogynistic culture that they are trying hard to combat with some success, although there is lots of bullying of younger boys. Our local all girls is rife with self harm and eating disorders.