Another one of these private school or not threads. What would you do?

[hentheeighth]

I know these threads have been done to death (can even see a similar one running today) but DH and I change our minds every other day about this and I think I need some MN wisdom/reality check.

DD is currently coming up to 18 months old so maybe getting ahead of ourselves but of course school registrations happen years in advance in some cases!

We live on the outskirts of SW London, with one child and not planning more. Combined income of maybe £110k. Live in a nice but small 2 bed house in the less fashionable part of a nice area. We currently pay around £1200/month in nursery fees and can get by comfortably with a bit spare at the end of each month - currently overpaying the mortgage slightly. Good amount of savings.

So the thinking is we could reasonably afford to send DD to one of our local preps, most have fees similar to our current nursery. There are some lovely local options and I really want DD to have every opportunity. I went to very good state schools and did well academically but lacked the 'nice to haves' - sports, music, individual attention. I imagine I'd have struggled if less academic. DH's school was completely rubbish. So we really want the best for DD.

BUT it would potentially mean remaining in our small rather unluxurious house for the foreseeable when we might otherwise be able to move somewhere much nicer when DD finishes nursery. We would have less disposable income for holidays, activities, material stuff - fine with me but also stuff I'd like for DD to experience. Not entirely likely she would be able to keep up with her peers' ski holidays/ponies/whatever. We're also reliant on salaries largely so would struggle of either of us lost our jobs. No GPs able to help.

Local state primary is ranked 'outstanding' but it's an infant school only up to year 3 - and local juniors not so good. And of course we're planning too far ahead to go for a tour!

Of course our incomes might (hopefully will) increase over coming years to allow us to either upgrade lifestyle or move to private at later stage, depending which we choose.

So with apologies for the essay - WWYD?

In the nicest possible way not worry about it for another 18 months / 2 years as lots of things may have changed by then

Also bear in mind you’ll have school holidays to pay childcare for so nursery fees don’t necessarily equal school fees.

And should add I'm very conscious we're amazingly fortunate to have this 'problem'!

Would it be possible to start in state then move to the private in year 3 if you felt it would be beneficial? Gives you a few years to save more then.

And the outstanding Ofsted depends when it was done - it may not have been inspected for a decade. Ofsted isn’t the thing to judge a school by either. Visit them at the appropriate point and see what you think.

Private for infants isn’t needed, private for juniors might be, private for senior is most important.

Why not aim for private secondary, or at least from juniors. It’s a no brainer to go to the free local outstanding infant school. You could save £40k which would be massive help in cushioning the extra costs you’re worrying about.

For those saying private for secondary. Just something to think about but my boys go to private school. The school they go to like the kids to be working at least a year ahead of their age expectations. My son in year 4 is getting homework set at a level that my friends year six girl is getting at the local (admittedly not great) state school. I really don't know what I would recommend in your position as there is a good school near you. We have poor state schools around us and my oldest son is somewhat "quirky" and we didn't feel he would fit in well at the local school. Had we had our youngest first we may have made a different decision. I'm not sure it's necessarily state or private but rather which school fits my child the best. How about going to view the schools? It may make the decision a lot easier. Good luck.

@Newuser82

For those saying private for secondary. Just something to think about but my boys go to private school. The school they go to like the kids to be working at least a year ahead of their age expectations. My son in year 4 is getting homework set at a level that my friends year six girl is getting at the local (admittedly not great) state school. I really don't know what I would recommend in your position as there is a good school near you. We have poor state schools around us and my oldest son is somewhat "quirky" and we didn't feel he would fit in well at the local school. Had we had our youngest first we may have made a different decision. I'm not sure it's necessarily state or private but rather which school fits my child the best. How about going to view the schools? It may make the decision a lot easier. Good luck.

Yes but lots of children go private for secondary. The private schools are used to catering for prep and state entrants.

@LittleBearPad yes, you are right. Just something else to think about.

@Harvey3

Would it be possible to start in state then move to the private in year 3 if you felt it would be beneficial? Gives you a few years to save more then.

Yes highly possible! Just a little more competitive for places at 7+ perhaps?

@LittleBearPad

And the outstanding Ofsted depends when it was done - it may not have been inspected for a decade. Ofsted isn’t the thing to judge a school by either. Visit them at the appropriate point and see what you think.

Private for infants isn’t needed, private for juniors might be, private for senior is most important.

Very true! Hard to know as we obviously wouldn't visit for a few years yet!

@LittleBearPad

Also bear in mind you’ll have school holidays to pay childcare for so nursery fees don’t necessarily equal school fees.

Yes I did think this. I think it does work about just about equivalent on the face of it in early years but of course school holidays much longer!

Do you want any more kids? Cos if you do then it starts to look a lot more expensive indeed... I have 2, combined income of £300k and I would question the financial commitment involved in sending both of mine

@MrsAD

Do you want any more kids? Cos if you do then it starts to look a lot more expensive indeed... I have 2, combined income of £300k and I would question the financial commitment involved in sending both of mine

Not planning any more no, would rather have the ££ to spend on DD I think, but you never know I suppose!

Put her name down everywhere and then wait and see what happens. With ds, some sn were apparent that influenced our choices. You might have an unexpected addition to the family, or break up. There’s no way to know. Just keep your options open.

I think you can afford it OP and presumably there's always a chance your income will increase in coming years making it even more affordable. Of course you can do the 'state til 8' thing but I would have a look around the preps and get registered, with a view to stating in reception. Then see how you feel next year. You usually have to confirm a year before entry.
Just a point to note - mine are 6 and 7 and have been at prep since Nursery. I can't think of a single kid who owns a pony and the vast majority of parents work and make sacrifices.

@hentheeighth , 7plus really isn't competitive for dd and the whole
pre prep and Prep sector in SW London isn't full and is unlikely to be in 2 years time due to the number of families moving out of London. Start in the state sector and move at a later date to private if you want to or you may opt for the grammar options at 11 instead.

I've got 2 kids in reception and year 2 private school and if I'm honest, I do question our decision!! We are midlands based so probably cheaper but x2 and we have quite a lot higher income. The thing is, once you go private you can't really go back. Just think long and hard about if it's worth the sacrifice. Just silly things like holidays all of a sudden costs loads more when they are school age, you need to think about how it might affect your life and if you are willing to accept that.

Also, you need to go and check out all the different schools private and state. Schools are very personal to you, private is not necessarily best.

Having said all that both my kids absolutely love their school and are thriving so I can't complain. But would just advise not to underestimate the financial commitment.

[quote hockeygrass]@hentheeighth , 7plus really isn't competitive for dd and the whole
pre prep and Prep sector in SW London isn't full and is unlikely to be in 2 years time due to the number of families moving out of London. Start in the state sector and move at a later date to private if you want to or you may opt for the grammar options at 11 instead. [/quote]
That's good to know actually thank you!

@Legoninjago1

I think you can afford it OP and presumably there's always a chance your income will increase in coming years making it even more affordable. Of course you can do the 'state til 8' thing but I would have a look around the preps and get registered, with a view to stating in reception. Then see how you feel next year. You usually have to confirm a year before entry. Just a point to note - mine are 6 and 7 and have been at prep since Nursery. I can't think of a single kid who owns a pony and the vast majority of parents work and make sacrifices.

I think you are right we will have to just register and see how we feel, although I do slightly begrudge all the registration fees!

And very relieved to hear about the lack of ponies.... 😁

@runforyourdog

I've got 2 kids in reception and year 2 private school and if I'm honest, I do question our decision!! We are midlands based so probably cheaper but x2 and we have quite a lot higher income. The thing is, once you go private you can't really go back. Just think long and hard about if it's worth the sacrifice. Just silly things like holidays all of a sudden costs loads more when they are school age, you need to think about how it might affect your life and if you are willing to accept that.

Also, you need to go and check out all the different schools private and state. Schools are very personal to you, private is not necessarily best.

Having said all that both my kids absolutely love their school and are thriving so I can't complain. But would just advise not to underestimate the financial commitment.

I do worry about the 'can't go back' thing! There are lots of good grammars near us so if she's academic we're sorted but it's impossible to know!

I'd be OK with sacrifices in our life but think I'd feel sad about her missing life experiences for the sake of a school...

Just be aware that:

You child will be on holiday ALL THE TIME = more childcare fees
School uniform - I spent £1k per child starting 🙄

That’s the only thing. We would sell up before taking our kids out of it came to it so are very happy with our decision.

@GettinPiggyWithIt

Just be aware that:

You child will be on holiday ALL THE TIME = more childcare fees
School uniform - I spent £1k per child starting 🙄

That’s the only thing. We would sell up before taking our kids out of it came to it so are very happy with our decision.

The holidays are crazy!! I think we'd be OK with uniform but we don't have a lot of family childcare help so holidays definitely a consideration...

And thank you everyone for the advice, lots to mull over!

I would go for the outstanding state for infants for sure. Then see how it goes and how bright your child is. You may have to tutor in year 5 for independent secondaries but it will be far cheaper than independent at primary level all the way. There might be grammar schools near you too for secondary school? You might move further out to a larger house by then anyway.

@Abuildingwith4wallsandtmrinsid

I would go for the outstanding state for infants for sure. Then see how it goes and how bright your child is. You may have to tutor in year 5 for independent secondaries but it will be far cheaper than independent at primary level all the way. There might be grammar schools near you too for secondary school? You might move further out to a larger house by then anyway.

Thank you - quite a few good grammars nearby yes! And could definitely tutor etc if needed but if she's less academic it's tricky - state secondaries aren't great although as you say we may have moved. A crystal ball would be useful!