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Original poster

Parents over 50, can we get a bursary?

75 replies

sandrinha1 · 13/01/2022 09:47

Hello,
I'm about to apply to a bursary for my 13 year old son to a very prestigious private school. We are both above 50, I'm 53 and my husband 56. My husband has lost his job during pandemic, now works as agency in a warehouse. His wages are ok, but he has to do a very large amount of hours to get a good salary, but also sometimes they don't call him. I have a permanent position at a big company and also I have to do a good amount of hours to have a good salary. Both together are about 70k. Both jobs are physical. Having into account that we are over 50+ and our son is a really bright boy, have we got any chance?
We have a very old car, 12 years car, still paying mortgage ( bought a house 7 years ago ).
Just looking for opinions.
Thank you

OP posts:
FudgeSundae · 13/01/2022 10:05

I don’t have any knowledge but my opinion would be that 50 is not old or even that unusual, especially for secondary school. Lots of people become parents in their 40s, meaning their kids would be in secondary school when they’re in their 50s. So I’d be surprised if it made a difference.

BitcherOfBlakiven · 13/01/2022 10:07

As far as I’m aware, bursaries/scholarships aren’t based on a parents age or type of job they do.

It’s income and how well the child tests, if they have any musical or sport ability etc.

caringcarer · 13/01/2022 10:09

What has your age got to do with anything? My dd won a scholarship and no one asked our ages.

RedAndGreenPlaid · 13/01/2022 10:10

Every school does bursaries according to their own criteria. You need to check those of the school/s you're applying for.
FWIW the school we applied to, allowable income for fee reduction was £80k p.a.

AnotherNewt · 13/01/2022 10:15

If he's 13 now, you are presumably looking at a place for this September and the application round is well under way. Have you spoken to the school/s you have applied to about this? If not, it's them you really need to start that dialogue with and asap.

Different schools have different ways of assessing income, and different thresholds for assistance, so it's not really possible to guess whether you would be a likely candidate.

But your age sounds typical for the parent cohort for teenagers and I'd be surprised if that was a factor

Seeline · 13/01/2022 10:17

I don't think your age will have any impact at all.

Original poster
sandrinha1 · 13/01/2022 10:24

Thank you very much for all the replies.
This particular school have send us an email inviting our son to do the entrance test held in March. We have shown our interest few years ago, but never went ahead. Our son at the moment is in a grammar school and he is really keen in applying. I know he can pass that exam brilliantly, just scared that if they say that we have to pay those fees and, obviously, as we cannot afford end up disappointing our son...

OP posts:
Original poster
sandrinha1 · 13/01/2022 10:25

They already sent about 2 or 3 emails, asking us to apply....

OP posts:
LIZS · 13/01/2022 10:25

You will still be under retirement age by the time he finishes year 13. Income and assets are relevant, not age. 70k would be well over the eligibility threshold for most schools.

Fauxpains · 13/01/2022 10:33

Would he be likely to get a scholarship?

sopsmum · 13/01/2022 10:33

No it's not @LIZS. My children are at a day school (so fees under £16k) and I know their threshold is £80k but there is discretion with that and they can go a lot higher. The big name (£30k plus fees) will have higher limits again. You won't get more than about a 20% discount on that salary though.

Against you op is that you only
have one child.

You should be working out your husbands salary against a normal 40 hour week as it is not sustainable to work vastly in excess of that in a physical job in your 50's.

In your favour you may find it difficult to remortgage to raise fees that way given your current circumstances.

In my experience bursaries go to the cleverest kids so how much discretion there is will depend on your sons performance. Speak to the bursar. They are usually friendly. I know of lots of parents that got offered nothing on first round but went back to bursar to plead their case and then got a sometimes significant discount.

Bursaries don't make the place free generally though. Maybe one or two places in a school a year at most.

Seeline · 13/01/2022 10:48

My DCs school offers bursaries for incomes under £90k, but it wouldn't be much.

I am surprised that a 'very prestigious private school' is sending out 2-3 emails chasing prospective students though.

Original poster
sandrinha1 · 13/01/2022 11:03

I'm surprised too with the emails. We know he is bright, also being a Mensa member. We just don't want to disappoint him...

OP posts:
Ricksteinsfishwife · 13/01/2022 11:06

Have you told the school you would need to apply for a bursary?

As your child is hugely smart, just be honest with him, explain you can’t afford it so would need to apply for a bursary and rhe chance of success are limited.

Original poster
sandrinha1 · 13/01/2022 11:12

Yes we told the school we need a bursary, they already sent us the link to upload our documents. Our son he knows as well that he needs a bursary, but how far he understands that we don't know as he is hugely excited to take the exam..

OP posts:
Original poster
sandrinha1 · 13/01/2022 11:15

At the moment we are in a situation that we don't want to be...wanting the best for him but having absolutely no chance to go ahead. The maximum he can do is just this exam, taking a huge mark but not able to go ahead...😔

OP posts:
Mummy195 · 13/01/2022 11:21

If they are writing in March, then surely your DS is writing a scholarship / exhibition. If he passes that at one of the top schools, they will definitely find the money to make sure he goes in, especially if he is Mensa standards. That being said, if it's the top schools like Winchester or Eton, only around 14/19 DS get that, and they are incredibly prepared at their prep schools.

Some London schools have increased to threshold to around 120K. The older, bigger, top schools usually have the funds in the pot.

Parents age has never been a factor in bursaries. I once helped a gifted child apply for one and he was under the care of his grandparents - they were much older than you and your DH.

CovidCorvid · 13/01/2022 11:26

If he’s bright and at a grammar school does he really need to go to the private school? I know it’s exciting to get the emails but at the end of the day they’re a business touting for income.

While a 70k combined salary is good a “prestigious” boarding school will take a big chunk out of that for fees. They might offer a small bursary but they’re likely to still expect a significant payment. Every year. Then all the extras of uniform, sports equipment, etc. None of which will be available cheaply. You are likely to have to buy from the school at significantly inflated prices.

Personally I’d say save the money to help when at uni. Hes bright, he’s at a good school. He will do well without the private school. 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
sandrinha1 · 13/01/2022 11:37

Thank you everyone for the replies.
Still don't know what to do, because if he does the exam, he will be over excited to get in..
Not doing the exam is at the moment the right option, that way he wouldn't feel so much disappointed.
Thank you again xx

OP posts:
embarassedmum2017 · 13/01/2022 13:03

Check the bursary information on the school's website to see their income threshold. The higher the threshold, the greater the chances of a large fee remission. The older prestigious boys' schools tend to be very generous.

Ovenaffray · 13/01/2022 13:05

Why do you think your age is relevant? Have the school indicated this?

Gardeningdream · 13/01/2022 13:07

I don’t think not doing the exam is right? It’s robbing him of the chance, just explain to him properly the realistic chances of the bursary and let him proceed. Doing it he has a chance, not doing it he has no chance and is just as disappointed.

AnotherNewt · 13/01/2022 13:09

@sandrinha1

They already sent about 2 or 3 emails, asking us to apply....
Were these specific to you, asking you to apply (along the lines of they really want him as an individual)

Or were they more the sort that would be sent to everyone who had registered an interest for that year but from whom no application had been received? So a kind of reminder to apply by the deadline

batmanladybird · 13/01/2022 13:10

@sandrinha1

Thank you everyone for the replies. Still don't know what to do, because if he does the exam, he will be over excited to get in.. Not doing the exam is at the moment the right option, that way he wouldn't feel so much disappointed. Thank you again xx
I think he can do the exam, do well and still not go. It's what's best in the long term How old is your ds
AnotherNewt · 13/01/2022 13:10

And do remember that even if you don't go for it now, sixth form will be a possibility (gives you a chance to build a bit of savings, fewer years to fund)

Is he happy, settled and doing well where he is now?

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