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Original poster

Parents over 50, can we get a bursary?

75 replies

sandrinha1 · 13/01/2022 09:47

Hello,
I'm about to apply to a bursary for my 13 year old son to a very prestigious private school. We are both above 50, I'm 53 and my husband 56. My husband has lost his job during pandemic, now works as agency in a warehouse. His wages are ok, but he has to do a very large amount of hours to get a good salary, but also sometimes they don't call him. I have a permanent position at a big company and also I have to do a good amount of hours to have a good salary. Both together are about 70k. Both jobs are physical. Having into account that we are over 50+ and our son is a really bright boy, have we got any chance?
We have a very old car, 12 years car, still paying mortgage ( bought a house 7 years ago ).
Just looking for opinions.
Thank you

OP posts:
StrandedStarfish · 13/01/2022 13:29

Please be aware that independent schools have taken a real hammering during following austerity, and through the pandemic . The email request may be a marketing tool to increase pupil numbers

Original poster
sandrinha1 · 13/01/2022 13:33

My DS is 13 years old. This is an entrance for year 9.
They sent an email last year, by September, inviting us for an open day, which we did not attend. Then, after that, an email with our both names on it reminding us to apply, which I did not reply too. Then, this is the third one, January, again with both our names, asking us to apply and not loose the chance, with a link for bursary. I then emailed bursary asking which documents were needed and then after that again another email saying I need to apply before the bursary application. Looks like bursary application doesn't not have a deadline.
I just want our son to be happy and could be a huge disappointment for him not to go there...

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 13/01/2022 13:35

Plenty of parents over 50 with very bright children who wouldn't even dream of any help being available to them and a way way lower income than 70k!

itwasntaparty · 13/01/2022 13:37

Without wanting to piss on your chips OP I think it's likely they've lost students during Covid and are looking to up their intake again. If they wanted him that badly they'd be offering a scholarship.

Isonthecase · 13/01/2022 13:40

The only way to know is apply, just couch it as a wonderful opportunity for him to show how smart he is and if he's lucky the school will have a bursary available but it's no judgement on him as that's just luck. Dithering over it won't do anyone any good and may give him the impression it's not worth taking a risk for something you care about.

HelloDulling · 13/01/2022 13:42

Have you spoken to the admissions officer/registrar on the phone? You need to ask them if it's possible to find out whether you will be eligible for the bursary ahead of the exam.

If you pay the registration fee, and submit all your documents, they may be able to tell you ahead of the exam if you qualify for the bursary. Then you can make the decision for your DS to sit the exam, or not.

LiterallyKnowsBest · 13/01/2022 13:52

It does sound as if the school’s development office is working overtime! You didn’t actually clarify whether these were personal letters or simply those a school sends to all prospective parents who have registered.

I do understand the potential for disappointment if no, or insufficient bursary assistance is offered - but the only people who have bursaries are those who apply. You need to be brave and model resilience to your son!

In general extra intellectual effort is never wasted, even if it doesn’t achieve exactly what one set out to achieve. The challenge of preparing for this exam (though it is a little late to begin at this stage) should be useful for his GCSE / A’ Level prospects and nay take his interests in new directions.

Let him try! The worst that can happen is that he has an adventure and stays where he is.

PreparationPreparationPrep · 13/01/2022 14:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Embracelife · 13/01/2022 14:19

He is very bright so he can understand the risks and possibilities
He still needs to have resilience for disappointment in life
Even some top students get rejected by oxbridge

He won't have any chance if he does not apply and take the test.
If you consider it a good opportunity then take the test
If the school want him desperately they will talk to you about the bursary and tell you what is feasible

Original poster
sandrinha1 · 13/01/2022 14:27

Made my decision: he will go! As embrace life said, he won't have any chance if he doesn't apply. I will leave everything in God's hands and hope for the best. Everything we do is for him and not giving him this chance, I will feel guilty for the rest of my life. Then, after the results we will see and will fight for it. It has been a very useful morning, as I was confused in what to do. But now, I can see clear ahead.
Thank you so much!!🙏

OP posts:
Lollipopopop · 13/01/2022 14:36

@sandrinha1

Thank you everyone for the replies. Still don't know what to do, because if he does the exam, he will be over excited to get in.. Not doing the exam is at the moment the right option, that way he wouldn't feel so much disappointed. Thank you again xx
He is old enough to understand the possible outcome. As long as you are honest with him about his chances and that he understands a good score may not guarantee him a place.

My dd was desperate to go to our local private school and went to some taster sessions. She would have smashed the exam but I knew we wouldn’t qualify for a bursary and wouldn’t be able to afford to send her and her siblings there too. That’s life unfortunately.

She decided not to take the test in the end, went to the local comp, got straight 9’s and is now at a top college.

LondonGirl83 · 13/01/2022 14:43

I think you’ve made the right decision. There are two likely possibilities I see:

  1. They really want your son for his academic ability and will find a way to make it work for you financially if they can
  1. They have space they need to fill and are desperately seeking able students. If they are undersubscribed, offering a huge fee reduction is possible as any money they get in will be a win for them and an able student will help long term with their league table position / marketing stats

Manage you son’s expectations but definitely give it a go.

Undersubscribed schools are known to make quite aggressive financial deals to get some
incremental cash in when things are tight.

Sonex · 13/01/2022 14:51

I don't understand what your age or job have to do with anything? Virtually all parents at the private secondary school my kids go to are 50+. The only real exception I can think of is a single mother in her thirties who had her son very young.

Its a simple equation for these things - how well your child performs and hence how much they want them at the school - in which case they will consider you for a bursary, but then its household income and assets (including income, property, savings, pension), all of which you have to declare along with P60s etc. That's all the will be taken into consideration - what the joint family income was last tax year. 70K will be near the upper threshold for most schools, especially in London, so you would likely get a small proportion of the fees as a bursary, if at all, as it is a sliding scale (the one I know of is 90K this year)

I have a friend who is a single parent on a salary of 70K who was outraged to get zero bursary at the same school - because she owns a property outright with nor mortgage.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 13/01/2022 15:04

@sandrinha1

My DS is 13 years old. This is an entrance for year 9. They sent an email last year, by September, inviting us for an open day, which we did not attend. Then, after that, an email with our both names on it reminding us to apply, which I did not reply too. Then, this is the third one, January, again with both our names, asking us to apply and not loose the chance, with a link for bursary. I then emailed bursary asking which documents were needed and then after that again another email saying I need to apply before the bursary application. Looks like bursary application doesn't not have a deadline. I just want our son to be happy and could be a huge disappointment for him not to go there...
This isn’t a personal invitation to your family. All the schools admissions depts do this - the emails are always personally addressed to you.
onedayoranother · 13/01/2022 15:37

Glad he's taking the test. To get a bursary he'd have to score very well, and they will scrutinise your income and amassers to an amazingly in depth degree, but you never know.
I don't think private schools are hurting - my daughters have said applications are up. Possibly the difference in how they were able to provide full time online learning from the very first lockdown demonstrated that the fees are worth it.

taj0112 · 13/01/2022 19:34

Other than the other comments, children are very much lead by us and how we present an opportunity. And as parents we often want our children to do the best and want to protect them from not doing this! But by just couching it as a have a go and we plan to go (elsewhere) the pressure is off. They are leas by us and our stresses…..

RedRec · 13/01/2022 19:45

I know it's your choice, OP, but I just cannot see why you would put yourself through all this stress and expense when he is already at a grammar school.

Ribosome · 13/01/2022 20:01

Not sure what your ages have to do with this?

hamletta · 14/01/2022 07:06

Have you checked the timing of the bursary process? Our school confirms the bursary offer before children sit the exam, so they don't have to go through that process if the parents already know the bursary wouldn't be enough. Is it possible that's the case here?

Original poster
sandrinha1 · 14/01/2022 09:21

No, in here they want to "check" first the child I believe. Then, the bursary goes on offer....

OP posts:
PreparationPreparationPrep · 14/01/2022 09:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Snoopsnoggysnog · 14/01/2022 11:47

You should be able to find the bursary policy on the school website

A580Hojas · 14/01/2022 11:54

Joint salary of £70k wouldn't qualify you for a bursary at any private school I know.

LOL at your old car. Do you think you can use that as some sort of bargaining tool? That's ludicrous.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 14/01/2022 12:22

@A580Hojas

Joint salary of £70k wouldn't qualify you for a bursary at any private school I know.

LOL at your old car. Do you think you can use that as some sort of bargaining tool? That's ludicrous.

This is not true - please don’t spread incorrect information Schools clearly state what the upper limit of household income is for consideration for a bursary Ours says £75k - which means that the OP is under that amount.
mediciempire · 14/01/2022 12:23

It's the right decision to let him do the exam but make him very aware that you won't be able to send him if you don't get a significant bursary. I took the exams for a private school and was offered a place but couldn't get a bursary. I knew beforehand that if I didn't get a bursary I couldn't go. It was a tiny bit disappointing but I got over it pretty quickly and I think going to the state school I ended up going to gave me life experience. He's already in a grammar school so teaching standards should already be high.

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