Do private schools give bursaries/scholarships to parents with decent salaries?

[Alyosha]

I feel certain that the answer to this will be "no" but wanted to check.

We have two DS, 3 and 3 months. We both have good jobs, joint salary is over £100k, very comfortable and we have no complaints about our standard of living. We live in London, where private school fees seem to have gone absolutely nuts. I went to SHHS which was £9k pa by time I left in 2007; so very expensive but would be just about affordable for me & DH for 2 DCs. Occasionally they send me a begging letter asking me to donate for their fund to build a world class music centre...can't say I'm too motivated to donate now their fees are pushing £20k pa.

I can't see any way that we could afford school fees for both boys in 2- 3 year's time even with our good incomes. But looking at the support available it's only if you're earning under £80k. But there's no way I would have thought a family jointly earning £80k could afford £20k in school fees for 2 children (£40k net a year!) with mortgage, council tax, utilities, groceries etc.

So our only option would be a scholarship, but most scholarships seem to be 20% max off fees, which doesn't make them affordable, especially not long term. Is there anywhere that has substantial fee remission for a scholarship in commuting distance of North London, either primary or secondary?

This is of course assuming the DCs would even get scholarships, which I realise is a tall order!

Google helped me out. An average salary in london is £40k

@AndMatt I'm finding the mix of "shut up you privileged wanker" and "you...YOU...think you're wealthy? with your joint salary of only £100k? get real" mix of comments quite amusing.

I can tell you DH and I feel very comfortable. We don't worry about money on a daily basis, which I think is the definition of well off tbh. We had help from the bank of mum and dad to buy our first flat, but due to the property market earning more than us, we were able to buy our house without additional support. We don't have particularly expensive tastes and since having children haven't had any expensive holidays.

To be fair taking into account bonuses, our joint salary last year was actually £114k but that was unusual.

I hear you OP. £100k salary gives you a take-home of £75k. Subtract £40k for school fees and you’re left with £35k, which isn’t a lot for a family of four to pay bills and food. For context, two people earning min wage take home £32k. So paying these fees will put you virtually on the poverty line.

Unfortunately the school will expect you to bankrupt yourself and sell your house before they’ll offer you financial support. But unless you live in a mansion, even selling your house probably won’t generate the half a million pounds it would cost to educate two kids. You probably just have to accept that you’re not rich enough to afford this school but not poor enough to attend for free.

[quote Alyosha]@AndMatt I'm finding the mix of "shut up you privileged wanker" and "you...YOU...think you're wealthy? with your joint salary of only £100k? get real" mix of comments quite amusing.

I can tell you DH and I feel very comfortable. We don't worry about money on a daily basis, which I think is the definition of well off tbh. We had help from the bank of mum and dad to buy our first flat, but due to the property market earning more than us, we were able to buy our house without additional support. We don't have particularly expensive tastes and since having children haven't had any expensive holidays.[/quote]
It's not just housing that's expensive in London though. It's everything from coffee shops to plumbing work to school fees. What sounds like a good salary elsewhere isn't.

I only read the first couple of pages but...
My children go to a state school in North London. In terms of Oxbridge admissions (an extremely blunt tool but you mentioned advantages for university from private education and this is the only one people normally mention) the offer rate is higher than any of the local independents.
I think your data might be out of date.

[quote Alyosha]@HelloDulling Not sure we can really argue that a family on £70/£80k is unable to afford extracurriculars unless they get a fee reduced place at a private school.

But I take your wider point, our kids will definitely be fine. I think I have some guilt for not being able to give them what my parents gave me.[/quote]
On this dh and I both were educated privately.

We have 4 kids (including twins) and no way can we afford private.

Some years ago I felt sad/guilty about it and posted about it on here

Someone made the incredibly valid point that "if it hasn't given you the earning capacity to send your kids there then it can't be all that can it?"

We are Home Counties and oldest is flying at state secondary.

[quote Alyosha]@Thinking2041 but nannies are more expensive than that I think? You are paying their national insurance, holiday pay sick pay etc. No cover if they are ill. We looked at it but it was more expensive.

@BoardingSchoolMater very much not into boarding but assuming you get a big bursary for the high fees?[/quote]
Yes, we did (helped along by scholarships - if the school wants the child enough to offer a scholarship, they will normally follow it up with a bursary. No 'normal' person could afford boarding fees: full fees for even just one child would have been very slightly less than XH and I earned before tax). That said, I had a very basic p/t term-time only office job at one of my DC's junior schools, which paid peanuts but came with a very generous fee remission. This is another way to make your way through the system.

Ours, scholarships yes, bursaries, no.

Threshold for a bursary will vary but even outside London your income is likely to be well above. Most families do not fully fund fees from income anyway, they use savings or family contributions as a buffer. Hence why declaring assets is part of the process. Increasingly scholarships are token financial amounts and are for kudos, extension activities or music lessons, elite sports coaching etc

If you live comfortably on your income and this is important to you wouldn't you already have been saving for the fees?

Plus if you've had help to buy and made money in the property market, presumably you have equity you could release, that's not an unusual way to pay for school fees.

Although as PP said, what are your reasons for wanting this school? Was it money well spent by your parents?

@Ginpostersyndrome that is very interesting, when I looked at it (a few years ago now) the independents were doing way better even than the grammars. I think SHHS was 20-25% getting Oxbridge offers vs. about 10/15% for Latymer grammar at the time. I had a long thread on here about it, think I've probably changed my mind a lot from what I said then though!

@batmanladybird thing is, we do have a very comfortable standard of living and great jobs, jobs which are true 9-5 office jobs, where we can spend a lot of time with our children, afford takeaways/meals out when we get babysitting, never have to worry about money, afford our mortgage & childcare etc. Those are all things worth having. However, hopefully the state sector continues to be good & getting better where we are - it's a huge difference from how it was 22 years ago.

@LIZS so far St Paul's boys seems to be affordable but far away. The nearest private school to me would offer no assistance and would be completely unaffordable (Forest School - I've been very rude about it before on here!). The other boys' schools are very competitive. Our grammar options are Latymer & Ilford boys' grammar. I think I'd rather a high achieving comp tbh; I think grammars often coast on their incredibly selective intake. State grammars should be getting even better results than most private schools given the intense competition to get in. My grammar school rant is probably for another day though!

@AndMatt Well we are saving! But I've had 2 mat leaves now which has obliterated that. We will save again jointly and I have personal savings too, but not at the level required to fund private school. Even if we continue to save up, based on current rates of return and likely fees in 8 years' time, we won't have enough money.

We would be able to move out/into smaller accommodation at some point, that would be a last resort though; ideally we would be able to find the commutable version of SPS that has high fee remission. Hence the question I asked. I'm sure a lot will change in the next 8 years - I think many independents will lose charitable status.

I doubt you will get help on 100k, I've seen discounts of say 10% on 90k but I'm not sure how one could afford that for 2 dc unless they had family help.

Many people will earn the same as you but will live in the cheaper area, drive older cars, not go skiing etc so they can pay for private school.

Er no

You earn over £100k are are complaining that fees would cost £40k? You'd still have a joint income of £60k! That's waaaaay more than we earn. You can afford the fees

I assume the OP pays tax though.

@lupad keep up SPS would give me 75% off!

I think some private schools can't admit to themselves they've priced out most of their former pupils. SHHS sends its alumni tone deaf begging letters

@lupad yes, and student loans too! 700 quid net gone for both of us each month

my DC are in private school but we both earn over 100k. At the school they go to there are children on 100% bursaries. They are generally single parent families or both parents on benefits. The top end for bursaries, as others have said, is now 98k family income, but the closer you get to that, the lessikely there will be anything left as they assess bottom up. So I do know a family where both work for Tesco (delivery driver and shop staff) where the child got a 50% bursary to attend. Equally a friend who is a single parent on a salary of 80k got nothing, and was outraged, but she owns her house mortgage free (bought by parents) so they also look at assets.

The reality in London is that priavet school for more than one child is affordable only if you are both high earners, or one very high earners, or you claim benefits and rent. There is no help in between and all the people I know doing it in that category (over half) are having fees paid for by grandparents.

I've worked in a private school & certainly there most people had good ish incomes but not stellar, however there was significant family help so either a tiny mortgage &/or gps paying fees.

Op we have one in each and state comp has been excellent in terms of getting dc to a good position. Talk of highest universities / marks - doing A levels so no counting chickens yet but I see no downside to his path.

Other one in private does have a school that really fits him and good too. We did prep for other dc for a few reasons. Anyway going through system with such a mix I’m really pro good state comp.

Honestly though I think it's probably better for uni if a child has a state education so concentrate on the good state secondaries as @mnp321 has found.

Also in London but SE so not same area

I don't think anyone thinks that it's possible to have a nice London house (large mortgage), new cars, annual foreign holidays, expensive hobbies etc. and fund private education for 2 children on £100k.

Forgot the private education for 2, I know couples on 100k who can't afford a house!

I think your children are too young to be worrying about private school…. , but because you are, you are obviously going to be one of those parents who really cares about education. And children of those parents tend to do very well…
My observation from having 4 children in a mix of independent, outstanding state and grammar is that it is more about fit. I would also like to tell you that if you find one of those middle class state primaries with really involved dedicated parents and do extra curricular activities your child will be getting the same anyway. Why not focus on finding the best state schools? You can always supplement with a tutor later on. Healthy food, love, activities outside of school, talking and reading to children is what actually matters. I also find that a lot of private schools now do so much extra curricular activities the children can actually get distracted from the academics. Just focus on finding one or two things your child is good at e.g. a sport or a musical instrument etc and lots of reading in primary.
As regards the particular question, yes I do know people who got help/significant scholarships with high salaries. However, their children were exceptional e.g. think Grade 8 violin age 9, county sport etc. - that kind of thing plus very bright too. It really depends on the school in question and their policies on scholarships. Some schools it is entirely at the discretion of the headmaster. Other schools have very strict policies and governors decide.