Private schools??

[Hanster85]

Hi everyone,

I wondered if anyone might be able to give me some advice, I'm new to all this education business and know nothing about private / independent schools.

My DD's Grandparents have agreed to part- finance her attending a secondary private school (she's only 3 now), but this has left me thinking that maybe we should pay for her to attend the primary provision for consistency and stability (maintaining friendships etc).

But I don't think we have finished our family just yet & still not sure if we may look to have another baby next year. Grandparents have also said that they will part fund this child's secondary education. But I won't send one child to private primary and not the other (for obvious reasons) & couldn't afford to send two children throughout their primary education.

For this reason, we were looking at her attending a state primary and moving to private school for secondary but really anxious about the impact of this on her. We are looking at Cheadle Hulme School in Greater Manchester.

Does anyone have any experience of this that could share how they found this or any insight into how the system works - or in relation to this school in particular?

Obviously it's a lovely problem to have and we are very grateful, but no idea how to navigate this new situation!

@Glaciferous
You are presumably talking about the language offers in ONE particular state school not all?
Ours (comp, not grammar) offers Latin, German, French and Spanish.
Enough of the sweeping generalisations please.

[quote Breathelicious]@Hoppinggreen
Yes of course. But there are some sweeping generalisations going on upthread - the usual nonsense about state until 8 and then saving for when it really counts and doing private secondary. Posters are often not talking about individual schools but about some sort of 'theory' of how to get the best education. Absolute baloney. You have to take these decisions on a school by school basis and a child by child basis.
Many, many children don't move to the private sector at all and do bloody well in life.[/quote]
I completely agree, people need to decide based on their child and the schools available.
However, a lot of people seem to think that if you dont get a degree from a top university or end up as a CEO somewhere Private Education was a waste of money. I don’t feel like that
I want my DC to have the best school overall experience possible and fulfill their potential, whatever that is

@Hoppinggreen
Which makes you a Mum I would like to meet. Totally agree!
We chose our local comp because it wasn't pushy, offers a wide range of subject choice, has good sports teams, and going there means that they aren't languishing on buses for hours to get to and fro and have a lovely social life.
However that is ONE particular state school and I would most likely have made a different choice if we lived somewhere different.
I can't stand people who cannot see beyond their noses and buy in to the age old propaganda that private is always best (I was privately educated BTW!)

Thank you x

I also agree with @Hoppinggreen about just wanting a child to do well.

My oldest has significant SEN. As I said upthread what triggered us to move to private primary was his own teacher calling him 'weird'. The only private anywhere near us is non-selective and has very good SEN provision. The state primaries near us were largely in special measures. The only state secondary option is so shit at SEN that when a friend's autistic son was being bullied and tried to commit suicide they fucking expelled him. So private has been completely about trying to do the best for our child. Our child is exceptionally unlikely to get to university, although I am going to support him to make a jolly good attempt. He has cognitive issues due to a birth injury and so the frilly extras, although lovely he cannot even access half the time because he is incapable. We just want a safe and supportive environment in a school that is motivated to help him and to encourage him. The school we are in fit that perfectly. They have nurtured him through the first week of Year 7 with such skill and genuine concern.

In my darker moments I occasionally feel cheated that my son was so poorly served by our maternity care that he ended up with a serious lifelong set of conditions. But we chose the school because we were thankfully and gratefully able to afford it and it is the best setting for him. If we had a child without those issues I think we would have possibly gone state at primary with additional tutoring as required then private at secondary. But the cookie crumbled the way it did for us in this way and I just feel so thankful that at least we can do what we can do for him.

@3GreenPullups ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

If you have a good state primary available to you then I would use it and transfer to private for secondary. That said, don’t discount your state secondaries either.

The only thing I would look into is the admissions process for the schools you are interested in. How stringent is the selection process and what would you do if your child wasn’t offered a place? Would you need to tutor for the entrance test?

We went for private from the beginning as the state schools in our catchment weren’t great and it was easier to get both children in from the start rather than waiting until secondary. Depending on the school, competition for places at S1 entry can be fierce.

Thanks @Breathelicious :)

Depends on your wealth base. So easy to get caught up in the angst and put all your financial eggs in one basket in the first stage of child’s life. When I wonder about stretching ourselves more for fees I think to myself what I will say when my child comes to an age they would love to buy a house if I can’t help. There is so much I want for them later in life and i feel there is no guarantee these days that private school will create a higher salary for them, I have so many friends from my private school who ended up in distinctly mediocre jobs, happy but unable to buy a home easily. We decided not to take the plunge and I must say it is a great relief knowing we have a buffer. Some people can pay fees without worrying though.

@Guocomoleglut

Depends on your wealth base. So easy to get caught up in the angst and put all your financial eggs in one basket in the first stage of child’s life. When I wonder about stretching ourselves more for fees I think to myself what I will say when my child comes to an age they would love to buy a house if I can’t help. There is so much I want for them later in life and i feel there is no guarantee these days that private school will create a higher salary for them, I have so many friends from my private school who ended up in distinctly mediocre jobs, happy but unable to buy a home easily. We decided not to take the plunge and I must say it is a great relief knowing we have a buffer. Some people can pay fees without worrying though.

Again, for a lot of people it’s really not about a higher salary in later life. A “mediocre” job is fine if you are happy and can maintain a decent standard of living.

@3GreenPullups

I also agree with *@Hoppinggreen* about just wanting a child to do well.

My oldest has significant SEN. As I said upthread what triggered us to move to private primary was his own teacher calling him 'weird'. The only private anywhere near us is non-selective and has very good SEN provision. The state primaries near us were largely in special measures. The only state secondary option is so shit at SEN that when a friend's autistic son was being bullied and tried to commit suicide they fucking expelled him. So private has been completely about trying to do the best for our child. Our child is exceptionally unlikely to get to university, although I am going to support him to make a jolly good attempt. He has cognitive issues due to a birth injury and so the frilly extras, although lovely he cannot even access half the time because he is incapable. We just want a safe and supportive environment in a school that is motivated to help him and to encourage him. The school we are in fit that perfectly. They have nurtured him through the first week of Year 7 with such skill and genuine concern.

In my darker moments I occasionally feel cheated that my son was so poorly served by our maternity care that he ended up with a serious lifelong set of conditions. But we chose the school because we were thankfully and gratefully able to afford it and it is the best setting for him. If we had a child without those issues I think we would have possibly gone state at primary with additional tutoring as required then private at secondary. But the cookie crumbled the way it did for us in this way and I just feel so thankful that at least we can do what we can do for him.

I’m so sorry that must have been awful for you all.

@Hoppinggreen But sadly these days a mediocre job might buy happiness but doesn’t buy a house - young people struggle so much to get on the housing ladder. We too are doing the house deposit saving thing as we think it will make the biggest difference to their whole life. We haven’t told the DC that as we don’t want them to relax too much, but it helps me sleep at night. When the time is right I will tell them as I want them to feel they can chose a mediocre career that makes them happy and know that they will have the benefit of home ownership.

Well we all make different choices but we just do what we think is best for our children in the end.

My eldest is now Yr7 at private school. We moved him at end of Yr 5 from a good state primary. It was a good move, he got settled well and made friends before the big intake at Yr 7. He's now a 'veteran' as he calls himself

It depends on the child. Academically he was doing brilliantly at primary, and has continued to do so. Socially he has developed more at his new school. In part because his primary was a very small village school with limited exposure to a wider range of activities and communities.

@Hoppinggreen
Midlde class worrying! Started with breastfeeding! Now I look at the whopping almost adults of my NCT group and they are all as healthy and bright and bonded however they were fed! Then whether to work or stay home for early years. Again all children turned out equally well as they headed to school! Finally fee paying or state. Ditto to outcome! All headed off to good uni’s, nice hobbies, good prospects. We just need something to worry about! We drunk so much wine as we worried!

You are presumably talking about the language offers in ONE particular state school not all?
Ours (comp, not grammar) offers Latin, German, French and Spanish.

Can you do all of them to GCSE? I mean, take four languages if you want to?

And no, I wasn't talking about one comprehensive. I was talking about every comprehensive available to my child (so within a radius of several miles, most of which she would not have been offered a place at anyway). Most only offer a couple of languages. Some assign you a language and the child has zero input into which one which I don't think is much fun. None offers Latin except as a lunchtime club. Most assume you will only take one language at GCSE and it's not necessarily that easy for a child to do two. I'm really pleased to hear other schools are offering better provision than our local ones. The school DD would have been offered a place at would have offered her French and Spanish and the ability to take only one at GCSE.

Private meant DD had a choice of French, Spanish, German, Russian, Mandarin, Italian, Latin, Ancient Greek and everyone does three languages at least up until picking options. Most do at least two after that. Some are doing more. One of the unusual ones has turned out to be DD's favourite subject and she plans to take it to A Level. I appreciate it's a specific subject area but actually the provision and choice were better than every state school we looked at including the nearby superselective grammar (the only difference there was they did do Latin). There were other curriculum features that also made more sense to me and also fewer restrictions around picking options.

@Glaciferous

You are presumably talking about the language offers in ONE particular state school not all? Ours (comp, not grammar) offers Latin, German, French and Spanish.

Can you do all of them to GCSE? I mean, take four languages if you want to?

And no, I wasn't talking about one comprehensive. I was talking about every comprehensive available to my child (so within a radius of several miles, most of which she would not have been offered a place at anyway). Most only offer a couple of languages. Some assign you a language and the child has zero input into which one which I don't think is much fun. None offers Latin except as a lunchtime club. Most assume you will only take one language at GCSE and it's not necessarily that easy for a child to do two. I'm really pleased to hear other schools are offering better provision than our local ones. The school DD would have been offered a place at would have offered her French and Spanish and the ability to take only one at GCSE.

Private meant DD had a choice of French, Spanish, German, Russian, Mandarin, Italian, Latin, Ancient Greek and everyone does three languages at least up until picking options. Most do at least two after that. Some are doing more. One of the unusual ones has turned out to be DD's favourite subject and she plans to take it to A Level. I appreciate it's a specific subject area but actually the provision and choice were better than every state school we looked at including the nearby superselective grammar (the only difference there was they did do Latin). There were other curriculum features that also made more sense to me and also fewer restrictions around picking options.

I agree on the language provision at SOME state schools At our local Comp they alternate years between a French and Spanish with no choice. There are no other languages on offer At my DCs Private school they all do both and have to do one or the other at GCSE. There is also an option to do Mandarin, German and Russian Of course not everyone wants to do a language or a specific language but it’s nice to have the option

@Hoppinggreen
That makes sense! A bit like shopping at Waitrose! You might not buy the marinated seafood salad but it’s nice to know it is there!!!!

It's also things like eg two of our local schools have absolutely everyone doing RS for GCSE. As it happens DD has picked it because she liked the philosophy element, but I had no way of knowing that when she was ten and it sounded like a poor way of managing options to me. I'd have hated having that as a compulsory subject.

I work in admissions in a private school. Half the yr7 kids come from the prep school and half from local states. Also being in the prep school doesn’t guarantee a place at the senior school. All applicants take the same papers and if a prep school child doesn’t do well they don’t get in.

Parents are advised of this prior to exams and some don’t apply because they have been warned their child is not academically strong enough for the senior school. I know it sounds harsh but that’s the reality of a selective school. Makes me sad for the few who don’t get in when all their friends do.

That is harsh and a real shame
Not all Private schools are selective though

@Glaciferous tons of kids picked RS at our comprehensive school! Because they liked finding out different takes on life! Well done to your DD! All the kids I know who took it loved it! Really worth doing!!!!! Hope she enjoys too!!!!!!

That's really good, @Laughingpoliceman - and I completely see the value of it as a subject. But it would be miserable taking it if you weren't interested. And, to be fair, I had no idea it would turn out so interesting with the philosophy etc as it was quite dull as a subject in my day and very definitely centred on religion which I wasn't interested in.

I'm all for everyone doing all the core things that you really need but don't think someone should be eg made to do RS when what might really suit them better is two creative subjects instead of one so being able to do Music as well as Drama or two languages or whatever. I'd rather people got to pick what they are good at and (hopefully) enjoy.

Just to join the RS chat, I'm state school Russell group person in the "professions" (eurgh) and I ended up doing RS at A Level and philosophy at uni. There are loads of misconceptions about RS as a subject and it's definitely changed a lot as a subject in the last 40 years

@Glaciferous ooohhh I think everyone should take RS! It’s super interesting! Makes you think! Makes you understand the world! And yes to drama and music too!! Aren’t our kids lucky to have so much blooming choice compared to what they do in some countries!!!!!!!! So much more interesting than when I was going to school. Your girl is going to love her RS!!!!