Private schools??

[Hanster85]

Hi everyone,

I wondered if anyone might be able to give me some advice, I'm new to all this education business and know nothing about private / independent schools.

My DD's Grandparents have agreed to part- finance her attending a secondary private school (she's only 3 now), but this has left me thinking that maybe we should pay for her to attend the primary provision for consistency and stability (maintaining friendships etc).

But I don't think we have finished our family just yet & still not sure if we may look to have another baby next year. Grandparents have also said that they will part fund this child's secondary education. But I won't send one child to private primary and not the other (for obvious reasons) & couldn't afford to send two children throughout their primary education.

For this reason, we were looking at her attending a state primary and moving to private school for secondary but really anxious about the impact of this on her. We are looking at Cheadle Hulme School in Greater Manchester.

Does anyone have any experience of this that could share how they found this or any insight into how the system works - or in relation to this school in particular?

Obviously it's a lovely problem to have and we are very grateful, but no idea how to navigate this new situation!

Many many children only enter the private sector at 11. People save up during primary years to be able to afford it when they feel it “matters most”.

There are some brilliant state schools out there and your daughter will be just fine if she only goes private for secondary.

For context, at my daughters (very expensive - it’s part boarding) school, over half the girls came from the state sector and less than 15% knew someone from their current school when they started.

@Zodlebud thank you for replying! Did your little one go through private primary school on to the secondary provision?

I'm wondering whether there would be any merit in moving her in year 3 (start of junior school) to help her with the entrance exam? Are you aware of anyone who has done it that way?

I thought with her being that little bit younger, it might be an easier transition too

We put ours into a private school at 3. So 7 years of £15k each before they hit secondary. It was worth it in that we were able to afford it, and that our eldest has a range of SEN issues that would have seen him drown at our local schools (the 'best of which' was 'satisfactory' and the other 3 in special measures. What triggered it was when his nursery teacher called him 'wierd' to our face.

BUT, I do often think of the money that was spent. £180 k by the time both of them are in secondary. If there is an option because there are no specific educational issues to consider and the local state schools are fine then I would say put them in private at the age of 11 and reserve that money for other things.

Depending on where in the county you are, you might find it difficult to get in a good private secondary without having attended a (good) private primary. There is quite a gap between the 2 systems come year 6.

@Hanster85 We were “state until 8”.

I agree with a previous poster that if you are in London then you might need to join earlier as competition for some of those schools is tough. We are in the Home Counties and moved her as the private school was far more supportive of an activity she does at a high level outside school.

I thought private primary was a waste of money and mine joined an independent school at 11. She has not found it a problem (rather a benefit in some ways).

@Glaciferous it really depends on where in the country you are, how much time you have for driving to tutoring etc and how gifted your child is. an extremely gifted child with a SAHP (time to drive child to tutoring etc) outside Lobdon - no issue.
A more average child, fulltime working parents, in London or similar - good luck.

@Glaciferous I found that secondary private education was a waste of money and saved it for university and house deposits. They have not found it a problem (rather a benefit in lots of ways) 😂

It's fine. Lots of children move from state primary to private secondary. Don't worry at all about continuity. They are often all ready for a change and to reinvent themselves with new people by then. The friends they make at secondary won't necessarily be from their primary. Choose a good state primary and don't worry.

The main thing to find out is whether the secondary school you intend sending her to has a feeder primary school, whose pupils it prioritises. If it does, how many remaining places are there and who gets them (eg. Is there an audition, test etc..)

@Itsanewdah

We are in London, two working parents and did about 6 months of once a week tutoring, if that. I honestly think it's not worth it. And I don't like what I hear about some of the rather competitive primaries near me. I'm glad my child had a really low key experience of primary.

@Glaciferous don’t confuse good with competitive. Competitive schools are rarely what I would call good ;)
again, it really depends on kids and school. We are just outside London, local primaries all are well below national average except the catholic one and the one with unaffordable houses in catchment (prices around 40% over local prices). So yes, if you are either catholic or rich enough to spend an extra £400 k on a house, state and minimal tutoring is a good option. Otherwise - not so much. You just can’t generalise.

I live near you and have that school as a potential for our dc. They both attend state primary. Of course that could make it harder for them to “get in” to private secondary but I know a large chunk of private secondary kids come from state school backgrounds. Including my friend’s very shy kid who went as a very reluctant y7 and he did very well there.

I really wouldn’t worry about it. Many state primaries round here are excellent.

@Glaciferous
I don’t like what I hear about some of the really competitive secondaries near me. I am glad that my children had a really low key experience of their education. It meant they had a childhood.

[quote Hanster85]@Zodlebud thank you for replying! Did your little one go through private primary school on to the secondary provision?

I'm wondering whether there would be any merit in moving her in year 3 (start of junior school) to help her with the entrance exam? Are you aware of anyone who has done it that way?

I thought with her being that little bit younger, it might be an easier transition too [/quote]
I think just be prepared to spend a bit of money at tutoring in y5/6.

Well for a start unless your Primary provision is awful there isn’t a lot of need for a Private Primary, it’s better to save your money for Secondary. We did State then Private and it gave us lots of time to put money away for contingency
Also, I would never send my DC Private if I was reliant on someone else paying. Too risky as far as I’m concerned and it can change relations

Also, DD has just started 6th form college at quite a large college. Her ex Private school friends (some of whom had been there since they were 3) are a bit stunned by it all whereas DD only did 11-16 at Private and has found it quite easy. Plus she is reconnecting with people from her Primary

@Hoppinggreen

Well for a start unless your Primary provision is awful there isn’t a lot of need for a Private Primary, it’s better to save your money for Secondary. We did State then Private and it gave us lots of time to put money away for contingency Also, I would never send my DC Private if I was reliant on someone else paying. Too risky as far as I’m concerned and it can change relations

I agree with not relying on others for the fees, even in part. I have seen children in my Dcs classes having their fees paid for by loving relations and then when the marriage breaks down or people fall out they are caught in the middle. In one case the ILs were paying, dad fucked off with another woman and refused to provide for his children and the ILs were caught in the middle and decided to side with their son. The older son was withdrawn from school in the middle of his GSCE year. Hideous.

Even to a more benign extent I see GPs who are paying then feeling they automatically have a right to being involved with every aspect of the child's school life, and it creates additional pressure on some children to perform.

It is always far far better to be unbeholden to others for financial favours if at all possible, IMHO.

I would strongly recommend "State till Eight" - private education really isn't worth the money in the early years as the vast majority of difference to education outcomes is solely about parental engagement with reading and books at home and you will get pretty much the same level of progress in any school.

I would recommend look to move to the private sector for year 4, which is plenty of time to adjust and young enough that a change isn't massively disruptive. Y5 and y6 at state primaries can be very boring for a bright child if there is anything like SATs assessments happening (obviously you can't preduct what education policy will be by the time your 3yo gets to be that age)

Nothing wrong with sticking to state all the way to the end of y6 if you can't move earlier, but there will be a bit more of an attainment gap to work on both before and after the entrance assessments.

There won’t always be an attainment gap.
My DD won a scholarship for her Private Secondary in competition with kids from The Prep.
Also some Private schools are non selective so there are mixed abilities
I know OP mentions Cheadle Hulme so I am not sure what the exact situation is but it shouldn’t be assumed that all dc transitioning from State to Private for Y7 will struggle, or evening that any will.

My DD went to state all the way through but after state primary we decided my DS would be better at (selective) private, didn't tutor so thought if he gets in he gets in and he did. He is very composed and unfazed about going not knowing anyone and is totally in right place but that environment would not have suited my DD and we would have known that at end of primary. You might be best to see what their needs are later on .

There is often no attainment gap at University entry level between state and private school pupils doing the same course (in fact quite the reverse some studies show that when pupils from both sectors enter with the same grades the state school students do better as they are used to being self starting and being taught in larger groups.)
Private is lovely if you like the frilly extras, but you can get a good solid education at a state school and save the fees for tutoring and for later in life when they need uni fees and house deposits (and for your own pension!). They will thank you for that.
You really don't need a private secondary education to succeed. It is a nice lifestyle choice.

Private is lovely if you like the frilly extras

Sometimes it's not that frilly eg a proper choice of modern languages and the ability to do several. At least, that's what swung it for us.

Agree that a bright child will not struggle to keep up. There was no attainment gap for DD. I would also agree though that it would be better to think about this when you know what the child's needs are likely to be.

@Breathelicious

There is often no attainment gap at University entry level between state and private school pupils doing the same course (in fact quite the reverse some studies show that when pupils from both sectors enter with the same grades the state school students do better as they are used to being self starting and being taught in larger groups.) Private is lovely if you like the frilly extras, but you can get a good solid education at a state school and save the fees for tutoring and for later in life when they need uni fees and house deposits (and for your own pension!). They will thank you for that. You really don't need a private secondary education to succeed. It is a nice lifestyle choice.

Sometimes it’s frilly extras but sometimes it’s a case of not sending your child to one of the worst performing State secondaries in the country

@Hoppinggreen
Yes of course. But there are some sweeping generalisations going on upthread - the usual nonsense about state until 8 and then saving for when it really counts and doing private secondary. Posters are often not talking about individual schools but about some sort of 'theory' of how to get the best education. Absolute baloney. You have to take these decisions on a school by school basis and a child by child basis.
Many, many children don't move to the private sector at all and do bloody well in life.