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Original poster

Why would a teacher ask about a home tutor

63 replies

silkclouds · 24/05/2021 20:58

My dc is at a prep school and today the teacher asked the class to put their hand up if they had a tutor and then if they had a maths or and English tutor or both.

My dc doesn't have a tutor is this a bad thing at a prep? Dc is now upset as they don't have a tutor and they said they said there were a lot of dc who did. I can't fathom why the teacher would want to know this and now worried if my dc is supposed to have a tutor if so many dc have them.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 24/05/2021 21:04

I can't help wondering about why parents would pay for a school, and then pay for a tutor on top. Confused
If you are "needing" a tutor on top, then surely that suggests all the £££ you are paying for a privileged education isn't being well spent ?

bentleydrummle · 24/05/2021 21:12

I am a teacher in the state sector and know loads of fellow teachers who also tutor for kids in private sector. Never understood why they didn't just send them to their local state school and have these teachers for free.

Anyway that wasn't really what you were asking

Skysblue · 24/05/2021 21:14

That was insensitive of the teacher - and I would not pay for a tutor if I was already paying for private school!

That said, if I was a teacher and half the class picked things up easily and the other half didn’t, then I’d want to know if that half of the class were naturally super bright and eg needing more challenging work and a faster pace, or if they were just being spoonfed by a tutor at weekends. I expect the teacher is trying to make sense of what she’s seeing, particularly if homework is being set that some children are potentially being helped with and others are doing alone.

Twizbe · 24/05/2021 21:15

My mum used to teach maths at a famous prep school. She hated it when she found out a kid had a 'tutor'. Often they were glorified babysitters employed just for the holidays. Sometimes they really confused the kids with bad teaching or complicating what they needed to learn.

You don't need a tutor.

Original poster
silkclouds · 24/05/2021 21:32

Well in this school it appears it is more normal than not to have a tutor so I was wondering if my dc is at a disadvantage and why the teacher wanted to know because my dc said most dc had one but my dc has only just started at the school.

OP posts:
PresentingPercy · 24/05/2021 23:10

If you are paying for a decent prep, you absolutely do not need a tutor! For anything. You clearly have paranoid parents or a truly useless prep.

The teacher might find dc have different methods of working out the prep and these are not what has been taught. Teachers can usually pick up tutored children, so I guess she had suspicions.

You absolutely do not need to think your DC is being short changed by you. If the prep really is poor, do not pay for it. I never understood paying for a school and then tutoring privately. There is a lack of trust. It really screams that parents think the teaching is not good enough for ‘DC to get to the senior schools they have set their hearts on.It’s very sad.

Original poster
silkclouds · 24/05/2021 23:22

Yes it's not a bad prep according to the leavers destinations but now I'm wondering if the leavers destinations are a result of heavy tutoring and perhaps I've been a bit naive in thinking it's a result of the schools efforts.
My dc likes the school, I wasn't expecting this at all and if I'm perfectly honest it's now made me paranoid. It's good to know I'm not the only one who thinks this doesn't appear to be so normal though.

OP posts:
PresentingPercy · 24/05/2021 23:28

If your DC is happy, then that’s fine. Are you wanting a stellar destination at 11/13? You may well find the school is perfectly fine but the parents are ultra competitive? Mine went to private schools and I would never consider tutoring. Just too much and unnecessary.

converseandjeans · 24/05/2021 23:30

I went to a grammar school back in the 80s when tutoring wasn't really a thing. We had two small local private schools. They only got a few in per school - year group of 90. There were 10 from my state primary. The ex private students were often bottom of the class. In those days there were quite a few working class girls there & they had no problems keeping up.

Honestly if they need private school, plus a tutor & years of training on how to pass 11+ then I don't think it reflects natural ability.

The teacher probably wants to work out who does their homework independently?

Original poster
silkclouds · 24/05/2021 23:39

@PresentingPercy yes definitely wanting top school place for secondary and was hoping this prep delivered.

My dc seems to be getting on fine but it's a bit disheartening to hear the majority of the class already have tutors to the extent I am now perhaps a bit paranoid about not having one for my dc if they end up falling behind. Hopefully it's not going to be a big concern.

OP posts:
saraclara · 24/05/2021 23:43

yes definitely wanting top school place for secondary and was hoping this prep delivered.

If your DC can't make it to a top school without extra tutoring, then he probably shouldn't be there. It would be a constant struggle for him and you'd need to pay for s tutor for his whole school life. Then are you going to have someone helping him through uni as well?

tobee · 24/05/2021 23:46

@bentleydrummle

I am a teacher in the state sector and know loads of fellow teachers who also tutor for kids in private sector. Never understood why they didn't just send them to their local state school and have these teachers for free.

Anyway that wasn't really what you were asking

Seriously?

You don't think one-to-one attention is something that people would pay for? And one-to-one work tailored to a child's needs would be attractive to a parent?

tobee · 24/05/2021 23:50

People say you don't need a tutor. Which is the case in an ideal world. But if already capable children get tutored to, say, turn an A grade student into an A* one then it becomes, I don't know, a domino effect? A culture?

PresentingPercy · 25/05/2021 00:06

Yes it’s definitely a culture. It’s also very sad.

Do you need your dc at one of your top choices? Is it vital? My DC never applies for a top school but DD1 did very well at her less than stellar school. Mainly because we valued other things for her. She responded well. No tutoring and she got into the school we liked but we didn’t want her to go somewhere ludicrously competitive. You really don’t need this if your dc is bright anyway.

Zodlebud · 25/05/2021 07:33

It’s a case of paranoid parents thinking they are doing “the best” for their kids. Just like you a parent hears someone else has got a tutor, panics, and gets their own child a tutor. It’s a domino effect.

It is a scary position to be in as you worry you’re not doing the right thing BUT unless your child has a serious weakness in an area then it’s totally not necessary.

My eldest daughter was the only one in her prep class who sat the Bucks 11+ who didn’t have a tutor. The head told us we were doing the right thing but we were very brave. She passed with flying colours, got places at the three independents she applied to (one a top 10 north London school, and an academic scholarship at another). Plus she had a fab summer and Christmas holiday.

Sure we did some Bond books at home a couple of times a week, but no more than an hour a week. She was happy and relaxed going into those exams. Trust your prep school. If you are worried then speak to the class teacher. But seriously, don’t run out and get a tutor.

Babymeanswashing · 25/05/2021 07:34

Anyone who thinks private school is just about paying for good teaching is deluded.

PresentingPercy · 25/05/2021 08:05

Agreed. It should be about so much more than that! Your money should buy great teaching and lots more!

Quitelikeacatslife · 25/05/2021 08:21

I have one child at state school and paid for her a maths tutor for yr 10/11 as she was struggling and it has helped her get more out of her school lessons.
Got another child at independent school and would not get tutor for them , if they were struggling I'd go back to school and expect them to support . I deliberately didn't get him tutor to get into that school as I figured he needed to be able to handle the academic pressure on his own and I think that has shown to be true.
I think the teacher was doing research as maybe finding kids doing things in a way they had not taught? Maybe head asked for that info?

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 25/05/2021 08:25

You are paying the school to provide what is needed. You do not need a tutor. If any problems arise, the school should be perfectly capable of handling them.

Shelddd · 25/05/2021 08:28

I fail to see the point unless they are falling behind. The classes are going to go at the same pace regardless so as long as they are doing fine I wouldn't bother. If they're already doing well I can't see how it would help them any more. Like I said they won't benefit from getting ahead of the class.

Probably better off using that time to learn a new language or another skill.

Legoninjago1 · 25/05/2021 10:42

@PresentingPercy

If you are paying for a decent prep, you absolutely do not need a tutor! For anything. You clearly have paranoid parents or a truly useless prep.

The teacher might find dc have different methods of working out the prep and these are not what has been taught. Teachers can usually pick up tutored children, so I guess she had suspicions.

You absolutely do not need to think your DC is being short changed by you. If the prep really is poor, do not pay for it. I never understood paying for a school and then tutoring privately. There is a lack of trust. It really screams that parents think the teaching is not good enough for ‘DC to get to the senior schools they have set their hearts on.It’s very sad.

Absolutely agree with this. I will never pay for a tutor. If I felt the prep was letting us down I'd move.
Hoopa · 25/05/2021 12:00

And we wonder why there is a mental health issue with teenagers. Some of them haven’t had time to be children.

honeybuns007 · 25/05/2021 12:03

@bentleydrummle

I am a teacher in the state sector and know loads of fellow teachers who also tutor for kids in private sector. Never understood why they didn't just send them to their local state school and have these teachers for free.

Anyway that wasn't really what you were asking

Because it's not the teachers per se, it's having one on one coaching that tutoring offers. Going to the school where the tutor works wouldn't offer the same service as it isn't 1:1
PresentingPercy · 25/05/2021 12:56

I’m amazed state teachers have time to tutor! Everyone says they are overworked. Overworked tutoring!

Onceuponatime1818 · 25/05/2021 13:05

Makes me really sad to read this.

Kids should be kids, school days are long enough.

Relax