Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Why would a teacher ask about a home tutor

63 replies

silkclouds · 24/05/2021 20:58

My dc is at a prep school and today the teacher asked the class to put their hand up if they had a tutor and then if they had a maths or and English tutor or both.

My dc doesn't have a tutor is this a bad thing at a prep? Dc is now upset as they don't have a tutor and they said they said there were a lot of dc who did. I can't fathom why the teacher would want to know this and now worried if my dc is supposed to have a tutor if so many dc have them.

OP posts:
roguetomato · 25/05/2021 13:06

Maybe figure out who's having tutors? If the top children' of the class are having tutors, the school may not be giving good enough education to go to good secondary, and good results are because of tutoring on top. But if the tutored children aren't high flyers, maybe they need extra work to keep up with the level.

yikesanotherbooboo · 25/05/2021 14:42

When DC3 was in year 5 ie coming up for 11 plus every other child in his maths set had a tutor and he fell behind. He found it disheartening as he felt as if the others could do it but he couldn't. It settled after the 11 plus . What surprised me was that many of the DC were never going to grammar school and wee staying on for CE but I suppose their parents liked to see them doing well and passing exams with flying colours.

LIZS · 25/05/2021 14:50

[quote silkclouds]@PresentingPercy yes definitely wanting top school place for secondary and was hoping this prep delivered.

My dc seems to be getting on fine but it's a bit disheartening to hear the majority of the class already have tutors to the extent I am now perhaps a bit paranoid about not having one for my dc if they end up falling behind. Hopefully it's not going to be a big concern.[/quote]
I'm afraid you are being naive if you think those achieving scholarships to top schools do so on the back of in school teaching alone. Some will but by no means all. Unfortunately this is a thing even if prep schools ostensibly discourage it.

Original poster
silkclouds · 25/05/2021 15:04

@LIZS my dc is in year 3 this is what I'm surprised about. Later on in prep maybe but I was surprised a majority start this early. I would expect some dc to already have them but it appears that we are in the minority not already having them.

OP posts:
LIZS · 25/05/2021 15:13

I would have thought year 4 onwards is more common but given how much school has been disrupted it is hardly surprising some parents have started earlier.

Original poster
silkclouds · 25/05/2021 15:24

Yes clearly I have been naive here. Any thoughts on the interest from the teacher @LIZS ?

OP posts:
LIZS · 25/05/2021 15:26

Probably just a straw poll, but could be they have noticed a change in progress or motivation. Or they might just expect it around now. Is a parents evening coming up?

Lovelanguedoc · 25/05/2021 15:36

I'm afraid you are being naive if you think those achieving scholarships to top schools do so on the back of in school teaching alone. Some will but by no means all. Unfortunately this is a thing even if prep schools ostensibly discourage it.
Perfectly true. All the friends of my grandchildren have tutoring. It's very hard to get a place at a top academic school, they are incredible competitive.

Original poster
silkclouds · 25/05/2021 15:41

Books tutor now Grin

OP posts:
Zodlebud · 25/05/2021 15:44

If EVERYONE stopped blooming tutoring then kids would get into these top academic schools based purely on natural ability. Sorry to say that it’s ambitious middle class parents who have created this toxic environment.

PresentingPercy · 25/05/2021 17:30

@Zodlebud
I completely agree. There are less competitive schools but they are weekly boarding. A bit further out in the sticks! However life wouldn’t be as stressful! I am also pretty sure the dc from my DDs old prep got their scholarships because of the school. Their parents were abroad and some were boarders. Others would never tutor and others didn’t need to. These are scholarships to top boarding schools.

However I can see London is different and it’s such a difficult situation. A bit further out and life is a lot easier!

PresentingPercy · 25/05/2021 17:31

Actually they are not all weekly boarding. Some excellent schools do have day pupils.

Moonlaserbearwolf · 25/05/2021 17:58

Useful background info for a teacher to have. If a child is struggling in class despite having a tutor, that’s useful to know. Perhaps some of the children have suddenly made amazing progress in class. Or perhaps a child/children are using a different method of working and the teacher is interested if this has come from a tutor. So many possible reasons why a teacher might be interested to know which children are being tutored.

Although, it’s a shame it was asked in front of the whole class as this can make parents worried - as your OP demonstrates! If you’re concerned, I’d speak with the teacher for reassurance.

Onceuponatime1818 · 25/05/2021 18:04

Maybe they are planning some interventions and will focus on those who don’t have a tutor?

If there was an opportunity for some smaller group works maths/literacy I would focus it on those who don’t have 1-1 outside of class.

GrownUpBeans · 25/05/2021 18:16

We had a disappointing experience at a 'top' prep school that gets great results. So many of the children were tutored that the teaching didn't meet the needs of the remaining children. I would ask for a meeting with the teacher and hopefully she will be honest about the situation. If your DC is going to be disadvantaged by not having a tutor, I suggest you either get a tutor or move to a school where this is less of an issue. (We didn't do either of these things and I feel in retrospect that it wasn't really fair on our DC.) Good luck.

Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 25/05/2021 18:46

Bentley I can assure you the state teacher they can get for free at a state school couldn't possibly give them the time and build the same relationship as if they had a private session with them.
So it's not compatible or relatable.

I'm a huge fan of tutors, they can hone in on weak areas and give a child a truly bespoke education.

Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 25/05/2021 18:48

PS I went to a private school and this was ages ago, I definitely needed a tutor as well to make up for the lost state years which looking back, no teacher moving through the current curriculum could accommodate

petrificus · 25/05/2021 18:55

OP, our DC may be in the same prep Grin

The absolute norm at the prep is to tutor - I know may be two or three parents who don't tutor, and the numbers are widely known in the school. I recently started a thread on MN asking about untutored kids because frankly I am scared by the peer pressure as well!

I think tutoring is purely about extra hours though - a tutored kid has a solid, focused 2-3 hours of extra lessons a week which may be used up by activities or sleeping or relaxing by untutored kids. I think I can teach DC better than a tutor, so don't feel the need to have one. But we certainly don't do the focused 2-3 hours that tutored kids do. I am happy with whatever offer we get though, and not fixated on the top schools.

PresentingPercy · 25/05/2021 19:38

When my DD was at prep,, the day was quite long and started at 8.35 am. She often stayed for after school activities. She did lots of dancing which was Saturday morning. I was not going to burden her with tutoring. Just too much and she enjoyed her hobbies.

Original poster
silkclouds · 25/05/2021 21:55

@petrificus well if we are at the same school I have one of the untutored dc.
I'm feeling the pressure now. Thinking of getting a tutor for my younger dc so they can put their hand up in their class when the time comes Blush

OP posts:
petrificus · 25/05/2021 22:10

@silkclouds DS put his hand up when asked about being tutored because he ‘didn’t want to feel left out’. I felt like moving him out of the country at that point!

MaidEdithofAragon · 25/05/2021 22:19

I teach in state school. Loads of DC have tutors, and all the ones looking to get into independent secondaries. My own children had specific tutoring for A level to get the grades that they needed. I’m a fan of tutors (good ones) both as a parent and a teacher: tailored 1-1 support makes a huge difference...see the EEF research.

Original poster
silkclouds · 25/05/2021 22:35

Thanks @MaidEdithofAragon this is interesting we seem to be busy all the time I can't imagine fitting tutors into the day. I will look into it though.

OP posts:
MaidEdithofAragon · 25/05/2021 22:46

@silkclouds the main thing is that it should feel very positive for the child, build their confidence, be reasonably enjoyable etc. It can help a lot at school especially if they are shy or anxious, having content pre-taught for example, can make a child feel really confident in lessons, eager to have a go, contribute more etc.

ChnandlerBong · 26/05/2021 13:36

It normally doesn't become clear until after the entrance exams have been sat, but yes the majority of dc's classmates at their prep school were tutored. And literally 100% of the kids who got scholarships were.

It's a bonkers world out there.

FWIW we didn't join the arms race and both dc go their first choice secondary - with no scholarships - and both are doing fine. Just stick to your guns.