Moving settled 7 year old at year 3 to prestigious grammar school but without friends

[IndecisiveEmma]

What is everyone's opinion about children moving school age 7?
My daughter has the chance to go to the grammar school near us - one of the best In the country. She's fairly sensitive and doesn't like change and is v attached to a lot of her friends.
I know for a fact that none of her friends are going to this school.
Breaks my heart to think that we would be taking her away from her friends and a very nice little school that she could stay at til 11. She would have the chance to go to the other school then too, but far less likely as greater competition.
So - move at year 3 in September to a v good school, which may be more pressure, but sets her up til 18.
Or stick where she's at with friends in a gentle school with less pressure and chance it at 11 and hope her friends go to. Of course she may not get in.
Feels like such a big decision. Pros and cons both ways.
For context schools are NPS now and RGS as the potential.

I would move her on a heartbeat, yes. I did for my son at the same age, he is thriving at his current school. We too had doubts about leaving friendships behind but he settled in easily and is so much more motivated to work hard now when he is surrounded by friends who value the same things he does.

Your dd will make friends easier now than at 11 when she will have to move again anyway.

Peer group and setting high expectations is key to motivate children to succeed. To master any kind of skill you need to spend time working on it and it just doesn’t happen without external motivation (the only exception being when you for some reason feel like you don’t belong to your social group and have no choice but spend your time reading books or something like this...)

I think if she’s bright enough for that school, she’ll be fine when she’s 11.

Many families in our prep are moving girls to private schools in Year 4/5 to avoid the 11+.

It’s tempting, but my daughter is so happy at school and loves her friends that I wouldn’t take away these few years she has left with them.

What I’m trying to say is that if she’s settled and happy, let her enjoy school.

he settled in easily and is so much more motivated to work hard now when he is surrounded by friends who value the same things he does

Given that both are private schools I think it's pretty safe to assume those attending already have similar values. The current school is already helping to shape the OPs daughter to be a bright academic child with good social skills. I can't understand why anyone would risk the potential that the other school will be a less good fit just because on paper its better.

Go for it. You won't regret it. Especially if the commute is the same. She will make new friends, there will be new girls joining as her, and you will avoid the 11+ and that is great, especially for a sensitive girl.

If OP, the two schools you are referring to are where I think in Newcastle, I say go for it. They are right next to each other, so no difference in commute, and likely your playdates (with a bit of effort from you) could remain the same. DC prep is pretty much a feeder to the new school, so in all likelihood everyone will be scrambling around at later trying to get into the new school. So you can avoid the entrance hassle and your DC can be one of the ones that are already settled in by 11.

She will make new friends with your support if you are worried.

They are only 7/8!
This school and these friends are not them settled for life!
If they are loving to this school at some points anyway then the move is best done sooner rather than later!
This is not about saying that the current school is crap or failing etc but about looking at the long term picture.

If it is Newcastle, I would have moved my daughter to that grammar! There just seems to be a lot more available/going on.

You are likely to find that senior school specialists go over to teach some of the lessons (which makes the transition to senior a lot less stressful). The children will also get used to sharing space with strapping great teens (who might also do a few activities/buddy).

OP I’ve been in your shoes. DD1 & DD2 both started at NPS. I loved that school. Never even contemplated entering DD1 for the Y3 entry assessments as she was so happy and settled in a wonderful class.
DD2’s class on the other hand was awful. Small group of girls, a few nice boys and the rest of the boys were spoiled brats - unsurprising when you saw the way their parents treated them which meant the only discipline in their lives came at school. We knew by the end of reception we would be looking to move her at Y3. NPS was still wonderful but it was exhausting for the teachers and they deserved medals.

So DD2 did Y3 assessments. And DD1 decided she wanted to try fit Y5 entry so she did and they moved at the same time.

I love RGS too. The current junior head is slightly mad but he’s brilliant. The RGS junior school might be bigger but it’s still very nurturing and caring. And for my two DDs there were a lot more girls around.

They are now both well through the senior school, thriving, happy and confident children.

NPS has an excellent track record of getting kids to the right senior school so frankly I don’t think you’ll be wrong with either for the next 4 years.

Year 3 is a big entry point for some selective private schools and I assume RGS is the one I think it is in G. Did she pass a competitive 7+ exam to get in? In which case she is likely to suit it. If there is a big number joining at this stage many will know noone so it will be easy to make new friends.

In those circumstances the only thing to give further consideration to would be the pastoral care as she is sensitive. You may want to research that.

She would be sorted till 18 if the school turns out to be suitable. If it doesnt she would likely move easily to another selective private school because she would already be working to a high level to have succeeded in the entrance exam.

I moved from state to private year 7. No friends. Started a bit late so everyone else had made friendships. I was rather miserable 😞

FWIW we moved our DC at Y3 from a school that has an excellent leavers destination at 11.

Our rationale was that he was slightly ahead of his peers at age 6 and by 11 they would have definitely caught up . We wanted to avoid the stress & competitiveness of 11+ for the sake of his and our mental health.
The schools we were keen on had both 7+ and 11+ entry.

He was very wobbly on the first day but by the end of the week he had settled and absolutely loves his new school (he loved his old school too but it’s a distant memory for him now!).

Parents of his friends at his old school are now regretting not trying at 7+ as the prospect of the 11+ and the unspoken culture of tutoring looms ahead.
Some of them chose not to do it as their DC was happy and settled but now realise they would made the switch very easily.

Good luck with whatever you decide!