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Education

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Original poster

We have a daughter in a private girls school, what if we have a boy next?

122 replies

mummyloveslucy · 18/10/2007 18:47

Our daughter is in a realy lovely school for girls. She loves it there and is very happy. We are planning another baby but what if it's a boy?. He couldn't go to my daughters school and there is only one other private school around and we've heard that it is not that good. Do we put him in to a state primary which is probubly as good as this other private school or do we put him in the private one just so it's fair? We would be over the moon with a baby boy or girl, but I'd want our son to be just as happy as our daughter. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
I'd be realy greatful for any advice.

OP posts:

ScaryScienceT · 18/10/2007 20:18

Lil, I think it all comes down to doing the best you can for the individual child.

TwigorTreat · 18/10/2007 20:19

no its not because it incorporates the word 'mummy' hence defines poster by maternal status and she seems far funnier than the 'hun' brigade

pagwatch .. be my guest

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 18/10/2007 20:23

Hi Lulamama, If I had a child with special needs I would still want him or her to be happy, I realy don't mind wether my children turn out to be accademic or not. There is a lovely little special needs school neer us that I did some volentery work in recently, and those kids are an inspiration. Who could ask more than that I would be so proud.

OP posts:

mummyhunlepew · 18/10/2007 20:24

Oh. OK, Twig.

Lulumama · 18/10/2007 20:26

fair enough

Carbonel · 18/10/2007 22:24

I looked at an all girls school for my dd when she was 6 months , liked it and put her name down. 12 months later I had a ds.

By the time my dd was 3 it was clear that she was definitly NOT a 'girly' girl and she herself was vehemently opposed to an all girls school, so we changed our mind and sent her to a co-ed nursery. Since then we have changed twice more - both times to suit the best needs of my ds, but also in the best interests of the enitre family. Oh and we have also moved house because i need to be nearer to school as dh changed jobs and is away lots now.

You really cannot predict what will happen in the future, or how your children will turn out - chill out and have a fun time making that new baby

boo64 · 19/10/2007 10:48

Totally agree with the point that you don't know what the future holds and shouldn't worry too much but the OP was just asking and presumably pondering. Give her a break, Mnetters remind me of a load of schoolgirls eagerly ganging up and picking on the new girl/ poshgirl/ someone who any vaguely different views sometimes.

I have to say I have considered, whilst looking at schools for ds, that IF I have another baby and if it is a girl, I would have to send them to different schools so that means I'm thinking a mixed school would be better than single sex. Yes there are bigger and more important things in life to worry about though at this stage, I agree!

Believe me I know about the IF's involved in all of this from personal experience but that doesn't stop me occasionally wondering about it - not lying awake at night worrying though.

boo64 · 19/10/2007 10:49

'who any' was meant to read 'with'. Bad editing.

Caroline1852 · 19/10/2007 10:57

I have two big sons at an independent boys' school, a young daughter (nearly 2) and a new baby boy. IME it is much easier for them to go to one school - same holidays, same uniform and the whole family get used to the rythmn of that school. It is also only really possible to fully support one school at a time. For that reason I intend to send my DD and tiny baby to a mixed school- even though I had a dear little girl's school picked out for my DD - before our male baby arrived. When they get to high school age I expect I will split them up and send them to single sex schools.

Piffle · 19/10/2007 11:00

oh to be able to worry about hypothetical problems in the future
What a shame I have far to many current ones to wade through first

pagwatch · 19/10/2007 12:07

Actually I am now worrying about this thread...

bananaknickers · 19/10/2007 12:16

Get your husband to have the snip. Problem sorted. It will stop your anxieties

boo64 · 19/10/2007 13:56

Is MN now only for questions of a serious and life threatening nature then?
That means no more posting on Style/ Telly addicts etc boards for any of you cynics then!

Cammelia · 19/10/2007 14:00

mummyloveslucy

I am just wondering, as you evidently like to think ahead, did this question not occur to you before you put your dd in a girls-only school

3andnogore · 19/10/2007 14:11

surely the op is a wind up, right??????????????

If not....well...there is no help, lol!

Caroline1852 · 19/10/2007 14:12

Are we on to potential weaning problems of the not yet conceived unborn baby yet?

Cammelia · 19/10/2007 14:15

I've always tended to think along the lines one step at a time myself

Saves the brain cells from over-use

pagwatch · 19/10/2007 14:27

boo64
I don't agree with your premis.
The question is not a problem because it is frivolous. The question is raising eyebrows because it is entirely possible that it may never happen.
To use your style analogy it is like asking what should I wear on a date with the guy that I saw on tv in case one day i bump into him and he asks me out.

Thinking ahead is fine. Worrying about issues even far on the horizon is fine. But worrying about something that may never happen because of 30 things that may intervene seems - well silly really.
And pointing that out to someone is not being bitchy or mean per se. Personally i am only that someone with a perfectly happy little DD gets all glass is half empty with what ifs about an entorely hyperthetical future. Encouraging someone to see that this is a time they should be cherishing is not necessarily a bad thing is it. Couldn't we all do with that sometimes?
Must go - have to skip and pick up my non academic son from special school.

webchick · 19/10/2007 15:36

how about you wait another few years until he/she is born and ask the question. How far in advance are you thinking? What if you have twins (2 boys or 2 girls, one of each)

Chill out and enjoy your daughter at her realy lovely private school.

twinsetandpearls · 19/10/2007 16:53

I think lots of you are being quite mean, mummyloveslucy obviously is a very devoted parent and simply wants to do the best for her children.

When we were at my dd open day there was a couple their viewing the school for their 2 year old whom they were planning to send at age 11 and their unborn child who was coming at 11 as well.

I think lots of parents worry about schools, I put of having children for years because my experiences of working in a bad school made me worry for any child that I may have.

twinsetandpearls · 19/10/2007 16:56

The situation is not entirely hypothetical either she says she is trying for another baby and if there are no fertility problems then the plan should be a reality soon.

twinsetandpearls · 19/10/2007 16:57

I think some poeple just like to plan ahead and take time to explore possibilities. I know I am one of those whereas my dp just takes life each day at a time. One way of living is not better than the other they are just different.

Hulababy · 19/10/2007 16:59

Agree with TSAP.

I do think some of you are being unnecessarily unkind to the OP.

Wisteria · 19/10/2007 17:04

There is a fantastic book called 'The Three Sillies' that my Grandparents used to read to us when we were younger - that was all about worrying about the 'what if's'......

I still maintain this is a wind up, and if so quite an amusing one to be fair...if not, then I don't mean to be cruel at all and I suppose it may be a genuine concern but a bit daft really x

wheresthehamster · 19/10/2007 17:17

Crikey, I know I'm a small town girl but are there REALLY private single-sex nurseries/infants schools? What are parents afraid of at this age?
I can't think of anything worse - a school full of primary-aged girls with all their friendship woes.

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