This is a long and complex story but I hope you will be able to bear with me. And yes I am a name changer by the way!
My dd1 went to a religious school for nursery and reception. I couldn't stomach it at all, mainly becasue of the sheer hypocrisy of it - not the fact that everyone was not religious but had lied to get in, I fell into that category myself, but that lots of parents were single parents / not married / re married but not to the dad of their dc etc, and they all just lied. THey would put rings on their wedding ring fingers, change their surnames at school to match theyr dcs surnames, and generally must have made their dcs extrenely confused about what was and was not ok, in terms of family composition. One day I saw a display up in the school foyer 'MY FAMILY' - pictures, with labels, of mum, dad, and children. No mention of any of the multitude of alternatives. The school was pretty posh, and there was a feeling sometimes that we should all be grateful to go there. I moved house when dc1 was almost at the end of reception, to 2 buses away from that school - I was forced to move, money, relationship etc issues. And it was a nightmare getting him there. I looked at the school nearest to our house, it seemed lovely - a bit rough around the edges perhaps, lots of kids on free school meals, and low SATS results, but a decent ofsted and a friendly head. When we looked around the pupils were courteous and well behaved. It was a lovely diverse mix of children, and I moved him there.
He started the following September. Settled in well, had a truly inspirational teacher, and I was so pleased with my decision. The following year he had a truly truly awful teacher. He regressed academically and was bored to tears often. The year after that (last year) he had another utterly brilliant teacher. And now we are back to the diabolical one again. He doesn't believe in the national curriculum, he doesn't believe in homework, he doesn't seem to believe in basic levels of literacy! DC1 has not taken home a reading book once this term.
And then there are the school governors - they are birtually all staff. Even the ones who started as parent governors, have then gone on to get jobs in the school, and so are now staff there. So there is no independence whatsoever, no accountability from the schools management to the governors, as they are the same people or their friends. There are a couple of really good parents governors on there also, but they are drowning in amongst what can only be described as an intimidating clique.
And there's more....is anyone still reading?? if so thanks.....
The other parents. I've changed my name so I am going to be brutally honest here. There are about 8 middle class families in the school. When we arrived to the school, I thought, oh how fantastic, we will have such a diverse range of friends, and we will go to Eid parties and divali parties and it will be just great. Not so. Not even a tiny bit. We have a lovely group of friends, those 8 middle class families, I have tried and tried to befriend so many parents there who are not middle class, and it just doesn't happen. My m;c friends have found the same. A lot of the parents are seriously dim, they watch tv all day whilst the dcs are at school, then they pick them up, provide them with some crap to eat, take them home and plug them into a computer game or a TV for the evening. At a recent children's party at one of my dcs friends houses (she was 4) a group of Mum's danced in a rather sexualised (AHEM!) way in front of a large plasma screen showing MTV or something. Most alarmingly, a number of the little 4 yos, obviously with those bloody bratz dolls coming out of their ears, were copying. I came away thinking what a terrible mistake. These people have nothing to offer my dc, they have moronic conversations about the things they are going to buy from a catalogue. THey do nothing all day yet never volunteer to go on trips with the dcs or help out at PTA events. Some of them have those pit bull dogs. And at this years summer fete, one mum whilst holding baby, punched another one, for pushing in front of her dc in the face painting queue!
Now, years on, my 2nd dc goes there also. Just started reception. Eldest dc is in Y4. They are both happy and settled, albeit amonst morons. They are doing ok academically but not anything like what I, their mother, with my super biased perspective, thinks they could be acheiving.
There are 2 possible schools I could move them too, both better, smaller, closer. But I am scared I will unsettled DC1 terribly. Am also, shamefully, having been so dead against private schools, considering a lovely one about 30 mins drive away.
If there are any MNs still reading, then I thank you most graciously, you are troopers!
Please tell me what you think I should do.