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Original poster

What do you wear to a school open day?

155 replies

upsidaisie · 04/10/2007 09:13

We are off to an open day for an independent school at the weekend and I have no idea if you need to be dressed in casual or smart clothes for these things . It only really occurred to me last night when DH asked if he needed to wear a shirt and tie, adding that he hoped not!! A recent episode of Eastenders springs to mind when Ian made a total prat of himself and I am keen to avoid standing out for being different/stupid!! My feeling was smart casual probably, but if anyone else knows different I'd appreciate some input.
Thanks

OP posts:
Anchovy · 05/10/2007 14:35

Seeker, I know this is veering wildly off thread - and what was supposed to be quite a light hearted one - but i just wanted to make a comment on the diversity point.

My DCs are at a small private school in London. It is very diverse by nationality/ethnicity. In DSs Reception class easily more than half of them were bi-lingual/spoke English as a second language. Not sure, but it could be that this range is a London thing.

What it is not - and I don't pretend for a moment it is - is diverse socially (which is something we try and address through outside school activities).

I just don't like the idea that everyone at a private school is called Tarquin and Jocasta. Of course, however, its entirely possible that some of DS's mates have an equivalent name in Hebrew/Russian/Hindi/Uruguayan/Korean etc etc!

Blandmum · 05/10/2007 14:42

Private schools currently fund more in buraries than the state used to do under the assisted place scheme. Money does get pumped back into funding. Money is also paid as wages, and in repain, maintenence and improvement of facilities. Many also fund outreach and other schmemes. the company that runs the school mine go to helps to fund a non selective state school in London (and no they are not part of the Vardy empire )

Private schools are not perfect, and yes there is a degree of selection by wealth that goes on, it would be foolish to argue otherwise. Howvere in all other aspects the school that my kids go to is far more ethnically/ religiously (and this is a church school) diverse than if they had gone to the local state primary.

This isn't a simple black and white issue.

The parents I meet are quite normal. Most, while obviously able to afford the fees are not Landed gentry. We have plumbers, nurses, teachers sending their kids there. Not of these jobs leaves you on your uppers, but you are deffo not 'rich'

Hulababy · 05/10/2007 14:42

I agree, most private schools are non profit making charities - moneys raised used for school funds inc staff salaries (teachers, head, support staff), school meals (n our case anyway), materials and equipment, upkeep and/or mortgage/rent of school buildings, school bus maybe, heat, light, power bills, subsidising school trips (again, for us all inc in fees), after school club provision (again ins chool fees here), paying for examinations sat, etc.... List goes on.

seeker · 05/10/2007 14:45

Anchovy, I know - and I initially joined in just to remind what seemed like a slightly anxious OP that she's the one with the money so the school should be worrying about what IT wears, rather than the other way round! Then someone made the remark about parents having to sell themselves to the school - which horrified me - then someone else made the diversity point - which annoyed me - then I didn't shut up when I probably should have done!
I wonder what the Hebrew/ Arabic/Tagalog versions of Tarquin and Jocasta are!
I have to say there aren't many Chardonnays at my dd's grammar school either! But, like you, I don't pretend the school is anything that it isn't. I think some people feel they have to justify their choice of private education, and stretch reality a bit in the process. To quote a friend of mine "Winchester is really the most truly comprehensive school in Britain"

Hulababy · 05/10/2007 14:45

As I said before - DD's school is varied re nationaility/ethnicity, etc. But no, not financially although this does vary widely again.

But it is very little difference in its social mix as some of the very good state schools, which restrict entry to certain catchments where housing is, as a reasuly, very high - therefore meaning somepeople cannot get their children in because of financial reasons.

Hulababy · 05/10/2007 14:47

To some extent though selective schools - academic or otherwise - do chose their own pupils, and yes - for those I guess you do have to sell yourself a little bit. If you are up against other people for limited places, then obviously you might want to make that extra effort if you think it might help you get your child in the school.

Caroline1852 · 05/10/2007 15:03

seeker "But I do get a little peeved when people try to tell me that the clientele at a private school costing 3K a term are a far more diverse bunch than those at a local comprehensive school. It's just not true!"

  • It depends on the particular state school and the particular independent you are comparing, surely? You would have to pay upwards of about £750,000 for a house in the catchment area of some of the state schools where I live. At my son's primary that he has just left, there were two half chinese boys and one Japanese girl (the rest white british), nobody received free school meals and I would honestly guess that not one household had in income lower than £75,000 per annum, most considerably more. What is diverse about that?
SmartArseCoveredinCobwebs · 05/10/2007 15:06

I think you should just be yourself, whatever that means you wear, but whatever you do, DON'T wear the t-shirt I saw a man wearing at the ice rink a couple of weeks ago, which bore the slogan:

"I don't have Tourrettes - you're just a c*nt". I was very and .

Anchovy · 05/10/2007 15:08

Seeker - isn't this nice: we are having a grown-up, constructive, good natured discussion !

ggglimpopo · 05/10/2007 15:16

We went to a wonderfully scruffy french flea market the other day and there was this couple with the woman in head to toe boden and a boden bedecked baby and they stood out like a sore thumb; it is aeons since I ordered a boden catelogue and have no idea of the latest range, but it was so JOHNNY. My dh has no idea what boden is, but I bet him a fiver that they were brits and they were - we heard them haggling over something.

Doesn't matter what you wear as long as you look like one of the locals, whatever that may be.....

seeker · 05/10/2007 16:32
MarsLady · 05/10/2007 16:33

I find clothes is always a good option! But maybe that's just me!

Hulababy · 05/10/2007 16:40

I don't know Marslady - depends on who the head is and how desperately you want a place at the school maybe?!

MarsLady · 05/10/2007 16:43

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!! Now that's my language! PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hulababy · 05/10/2007 18:19

Wouldn't have worked at DD's school - Head was a older middle aged lady, rather friendly kind matronly like type figure. Mind you, they'd have remembered us that is for sure!

amicissima · 05/10/2007 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pidge · 05/10/2007 21:46

I can't believe this thread exists, but it has cheered me up no end!!!

KristinaM · 05/10/2007 21:57

in answer to teh OP,

my boring advice is, if in doubt, go for the middle of the road option

if its on a saturday, dont go in work type suit. Go for smart jeans or trouers and decent top / jacket. Or smart casual dress/ skirt and boots type thing. No scruffy jeans, joggers etc. Nothing sexy. No mini skirts or cleavage. Being conservative is a better option that being high fashion. intesresting unique and cool is fine too if you want to stand out and can carry it off

At least that way you will blend in either way, if you are worried about feeling uncomfortabel because you are wearing the "wrong thing". Remmeber that most kids want their parenst to dress like every one else's parents IYSWIM

if its on a weekday evening then lots of parents will be in work clothes

KristinaM · 05/10/2007 21:57

pidge - you are very easily shocked

swedishmum · 05/10/2007 22:41

The three schools I'm interested in all have open days on the same saturday morning (and one of them is 20 miles from the other two, so running shoes seems like a good option for me! DS will go from one to a football match but he's not wearing his kit. Now if it was rugby or a ski team......

Original poster
upsidaisie · 05/10/2007 22:41

well, if nothing else you made me google the Boden Catalogue! No orders placed though...need to save money to pay huge school fees if we like the place when we see it.

I'll look out for cravats and leopard print leotards, not to mention nipple tassles too

OP posts:
hjeon76 · 06/10/2007 05:16

I wore premium jeans with white shirt, hermes scarf and high heels. I think it doesn't matter what you wear though. But I do remember one mum wearing a massive hat!!! thought it was too much & over dressed.

Caroline1852 · 06/10/2007 10:57

premium jeans - are they like Tesco Finest, same tomaties, nicer packaging and more expensive?

newgirl · 06/10/2007 13:32

oh yes lets have a thread on what premium jeans are?! mine are definitely in the reduced section

Carbonel · 06/10/2007 19:59

My dh went to an Open Day today in his definitely unpremium jeans, and 'weekend scriffs' shirt and got welcomed with open arms, personally introduced to the Head, and taken on tour by the head of juniors. Also spent a lot of time cuddling the school cat

Hope you had a good visit upsidaisie

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